I sat on the dirt road, dressed in all black. I couldn't seem to grasp the fact that he was gone. Why was it so hard to take in? I knew he was going to die soon. He had lived with cancer for five years. My eyes started filling with tears. For the first time, since I found out, I cried. Why did this happen to him? I needed him. He was my best friend. He was the one who made me who I was. And he was gone forever. Dead. I not only lost my best friend, but I lost my grandpa too.
"Marley?" I heard a man's voice from above me.
I wiped the tears and glance up to see who it was. Jesse Drake. My voice wavered as I spoke, "yeah?"
He sat down next to me, "I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa."
"Thanks," I sniffled.
"I know you guys were close. This must be really hard on you," he stared at me intently.
I nodded, "I'm doing okay."
"I know you were crying before I came over here. I haven't seen you shed a tear since he died. I don't see you at home, of course, but you'd think you'd be crying at the showing or funeral, maybe even the burial," he stated.
"I wasn't crying. I had dirt in my eye," I lied.
"Don't lie to me, Marley. I saw you. I've been watching you for fifteen minutes, waiting for the right moment to come talk to you."
I looked over at him in awe. I hopped to my feet, knowing I had dirt on my butt. I didn't care, though. All I wanted to do was get away from him. He'd been watching me? What the hell was he thinking?
"Marley, wait!" I heard his steps behind me.
I turned around quickly and unexpectedly, causing Jesse to run into me, "what do you want?"
"To talk to you."
"About what?" I asked rudely.
"I know you don't know me that well, but I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to," he looked me straight in the eye when he talked to me. He never took his eyes off mine, not once. He didn't look at my breasts, or my body. Not my extremely blonde hair, that was probably messed up. He didn't look at the dirt patches on my clothes, that had been bothering me. Just my eyes. He leaned in a little closer.
I backed up a little, "okay."
"I just-wanted-you-to know," he spoke slow and hesitant.
"Well, I do," I answered briskly. I looked over him. He had brown eyes and shaggy, brown hair. He had lots of muscles. He was attractive.
"Just making sure," he nodded.
I turned around quickly. I wanted to get away from him, but a question suddenly popped in my head. My feet spun me around once again, "why'd you come?"
He still stood in the place that I left him. His shoulders lifted, "I don't know."
"Well obviously there was a reason, otherwise you wouldn't have come."
He sighed, "you know where to find me if you ever need to talk." He turned around and started to saunter away.
I ran after him. He wasn't going to get off the hook that easy, "Jesse, wait."
"See you around, Marley," he called over his shoulder.
I finally got to him. I clasped my hand around his arm, "why did you come?"
He smiled lightly, "I don't know. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I wanted you to know that I'm here if you need someone. You aren't alone, Marley."
My eyes filled with tears. I fought them, of course. I gently let go of his arm. I turned away from him and walked quickly down the road. I stopped at my driveway and looked at my house. The light blue siding, with the black shudders. It was so small. Most of the houses in Auburn, Indiana were. They were all small with big porches.
I walked up my driveway slowly. It didn't feel like home anymore. Nothing felt the same without him. I had spent a lot of time in the basement, where my grandpa had lived, that past week. My grandpa had lived with us since my grandma died ten years before. I had been close to him before that, though. He was like a father to me since mine walked out on my mom and me. For some reason, I was never close to my grandma like I was my grandpa.
I swung open the front door. My mom was sitting on the couch in fetal position. She hadn't gone to the funeral, showing, burial. Nothing. I planned everything all by myself. It was hell. But, she had a harder time grasping his death than I did, considering it was her dad.
My grandpa was her best friend, too. He was always the person that caught her when she fell. He never left her side.
My grandpa was one of those people who never turned his back on anyone. The kind of person that was always there for you when you needed someone. No matter who you were, he was there. If you were a stranger on the street having a hard time, he'd stop to talk to you. Jesse's kind of like him in a way.
I sat on the faded, blue couch and put my arm around my mom and held her as she cried.
Brandii Booker was my mom. She was gorgeous. She had straight, brunette hair that fell just past her shoulders. Her eyes were a beautiful blue, the same as mine. She had a fair skin tone, but not too light. She was tall, unlike me. I was 5'4 while she was 5'9. She was taller than most guys. So, she usually went for basketball players. That's how she got involved with my dad.
They met in high school. She was sixteen, he was eighteen, they said they loved each other. My dad talked my mom into 'proving' that she loved him. That's how I was created. Then, of course, my dad got a scholarship to Ohio State and told my mom not to follow him. So, I've never met him. Not that I really care to.
"Brandii," I whispered to my mom.
She looked up, "yes?"
"We'll be okay," I assured both of us.
Her eyes filled with tears as her lips quivered, "promise?"
I nodded and wrapped her in a hug, "I promise."
"It doesn't feel the same," she choked.
I fought the tears that filled my eyes. The last time I had cried in front of my mom I had been eight. It was because she had tried to kill herself, and I walked in on her. Since then, I had been the strong one. She needed that. I remember my grandpa and my conversation from that night in the waiting room at the hospital:
"Marley dear, your mother didn't do this because of you. It's not your fault at all, so don't blame yourself." That was the first time, from my memory, that he had called me Marley.
"Then why did she do it?" my face had still been tear stained.
He sighed a long sigh, "lemme tell you something. Your mother is a strong woman. I have never met anyone as strong as her. She's been through a lot, more than anyone could understand. Now, every strong person has their weak moments. Tonight was one of your mother's."
"Has she had one like this before?"
He had scratched his head in hesitation, "not like this, doll."
"Why did she do this?"
He sighed, "I think your mom just needs someone to lean on. She needs someone strong to be there for her."