I'm Miracle (Islamic Story)

Chapter 65

Chapter 65
Chapter 66 is also published guys!

"For now, everything is looking healthy. She needs to eat more fats and a little more iron, but she is on the right path. She is still a little underweight, but that will recover when she keeps eating like this" the doctor told Iyaz's sister. We had to do a check-up as she called it. It was a require of the Judge. We come back every week and sometimes even twice. I had been drained lately, with all the attention on me. It was foreign and not nice all the time. Sometimes I just wish I could curl up in bed and be alone, where I could be safe by myself. They always wanted to talk. I didn't like talking. I didn't like sharing everything that had happened there. The therapist asked me lots of questions. I hated that I liked it. I hated that I liked that I could talk to her. I didn't really talk, since I couldn't know. Iyaz also took me to this place what he called 'school'. I was learning a lot of things that didn't make sense. I remembered a lot of things but didn't dare to tell him, still. I remembered simple things that the teacher was saying and doing.

"Sometimes she throws up what she eats. It happens like every two days" Fatima asked the doctor. I looked at her. She was always so nice, yet she kept her distance with me. I liked that. I didn't want her to be so close to me. I didn't want anyone to be close to me.

"It's normal. Her body isn't used to food. She had been given the same things over and over again, very limited. Keep watching what she throws up because it could be possible that she can't handle some spices. She is, as you know, lactose-intolerant and it is better for her to not give her vegetables all the time. She has live don water and gluten basically" he said to her, to which she nodded. She asked a few more questions that I wasn't interested in before we went out of there. I held my breath till we walked out, letting the wind hit me in my face. I hated to talk about my health or whatever. I took a deep breath, wanting nothing more than to get out of there.

When we arrived home, we went in through the secret door that Iyaz's parents build. Paparazzi was still in front of the house, trying to talk to me. They also had two security guards that prevented them from coming into the backyard. I closed my ears every time we went out, because the shoutings were becoming too much. I ran upstairs and went into Tuana's room, pulling off my jacket and getting into the bed. I covered my head with the blanket, not caring about how dark it was. I was fighting hard for the memories to disappear that were crawling into my mind. The hole, him.. I put my hands on my ears, almost screaming. I knew it was going to work. In the beginning, I was not able to, but the therapist taught me how to shut them out.

"Beau?!" I heard Iyaz call from downstairs. I didn't answer, still focusing on the flowers that I needed to focus on in order to forget.

"Beau!" I heard him yell again, but I still didn't answer. I started panicking when I heard his footsteps on the stairs. His punishments came to my head and I was unable to push them away. I started kicking the blanket, wanting nothing more than light. I hated darkness, but I felt myself in there all the time.

"Beau" he said before he came over to me. He wrapped the blanket around me before he sat down and put his arms around me, making sure not to touch me. When his smell hit me, I started letting the tears go. I cried silently, not trying to make a sound so I wouldn't get punished. He was just rocking me softly and I knew he had tears too.

"I couldn't push them away.. This time I couldn't.. He- he was-"

"No, don't think about it. You need to forget whatever happened there. You are here, with me. Focus on my voice, not on his. He is not here, I am" he said, interrupting me. I nodded softly, still not holding back the tears. Iyaz then started to talk in the language he talked to his parents with. I talmost sounded like the music Anna had in her car, but this was different. It was clean, refreshing. I felt like it was calming me down, since it made his voice even better. I felt that my breathing started to slow down. My tears started to dry up and I knew it was because of him. I didn't know what he was saying, but it was something I wanted to hear forever. I didn't want him to stop. This actually pushed everything away. Him- everything was gone. Before I could realize, I closed my eyes, letting myself drift away with his lullaby.

I woke up, still being in the same position with Iyaz, yet he had changed places and was leaning against the wall. I turned to see him and he was awake, looking ahead. He was frowning as if he was mad at someone. I looked down, thinking of him being mad at me.

"I'm not mad at you" he said softly, before he looked at me. I looked at him and silence surrounded us. I then looked down, feeling uneasy.

"I think you have anxiety" he said out of nowhere. I didn't reply, not knowing what to say or ask. He kept quiet for a while.

"You hate crowded places. You get so many flashbacks you have no control over. You get panic attacks that you like to hide. You have constant fear and worry even though you don't realize it, since it has been the only thing you have known. You avoid situations and you are restless. When will you have peace? When will you become better?" he asked me. Then he looked down at me.

"When will we be better?" he asked, letting a single tear fall down his face. My hand went out to wipe it, but I didn't since I knew he didn't want it. He smiled at me before he stood up.

"Come on, mum has cooked your favorite dish"

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I am starting my internship next week and I am soooo nervous!!