I'm Sorry [A Zane~Chan/Zana fanfic]

Chapter 2

Warnings: Subconscious attempted suicide. Negative thoughts.

I couldn't go back to sleep. No matter how hard I tried, I kept seeing the blurred faces and hearing the voices. A walk... I need to get outside. I pick myself up from the floor, choosing to skip the shower for obvious reasons and just patting down my hair. Putting on shoes, I scoop up my mask, leaving my room as I put it on. I pick up my hoodie from the kitchen chair and quickly put it on, hiding the bandages. As soon as I step outside, I shiver and watch the snow fall. I glance around and realize it's so late at night, no one is up at this time. I take my mask off, closing my eyes as snow falls on my face. This is...

Stupid. You have bad memories in the snow remember? Your family once left you in the snow because they forgot about you. You lost your eyesight in the snow thanks to Garroth. The lodge was covered in snow. You almost killed your best friend. Watched helplessly as she pushed Aaron off the cliff. You were weak and because of that, everything went bad. You're stupid and weak.

I quickly open my eyes, taking a deep breath, the cold burning my lungs. Unable to go anywhere, I look over at the car. Yeah... I could take a drive.

A drive right off a bridge. No one will miss you.

Let's not do that. I feel the tingling creeping up my arms and the slight buzzing of my head.

Just let it happen Zane. Freeze out here and no one will even care.

I find myself removing my sweater, the cold surrounding my body. I'm not even thinking, just doing. I sit down in the snow, shivering like crazy. I'm not sure how long I'm there for, all I can hear are my thoughts and all I can feel is numbness creeping up my body. My vision is blurring and I've stopped shivering. It's actually quite hot which is strange. I suddenly feel someone grab me and lift me out of the snow, rushing back inside the house.

"What were you thinking?!" I cant make out who's yelling, but I have a feeling its Garroth.

"Why do you care?" My voice doesnt sound like me. Small and weak. I don't hear his response as everything fades to black. When I wake, I'm surrounded in warmth. I look around and see Garroth looking at my arms. With sudden energy, I pull my arms out of his grasp.

"Zane..." He starts and I growl.

"Don't! Don't even start. I know what I did and yes I regret it, but it doesn't matter!" He winces at my sudden outburst. I sigh and look around, spotting the bloody bandages and I grab them, wrapping my arms again.

"Just... don't tell Kawaii~chan. Please." Garroth nods and reaches out to hug me, but I flinch away. His eyes glint as he drops his arms.

"Try to get some sleep," he says before turning and leaving me on the couch.

I feel my face heating up as tears fill my eyes, a few spilling easily.

I'm sorry...