Lessa - This isn't easy but It's not supposed to be {completed}

I'll stay but not forgive

Tessa's p.o.v
I wake up tired and sleepy. Then I remember what happened. I walk downstairs to get medicine for Jake because this is gonna hurt. I take one pill and put it in my hand and water in the other. I walk back upstairs and Jakes staring to wake up.
"Here his will make you feel a bit better," I say in a whisper.
"Thank you but please don't shout," Jake say and I giggle. He takes it and I go is the bathroom and put his hoodie on because skinny jeans and a brat type shirt isn't gonna do. I go into my old room and try to find some of the old cloths that I kept here for when I stay with Erika. I put on some black leggings. I'm to lazy to take off Jake sweatshirt. I walk back into his room and he's changing! I quickly closed the door well that gotta wake you up. I sit by the door against the wall and wait. I'm so tired I just wan tot crawl back into bed. He opens the door dressed now and I look up. He holds his hand out for me to take it. I stand up and practically fall into his arms. I'm so tired and depressed that I don't care anymore.
"Whoa forget how to stand?" Jake jokes.
"Sorry imma go back to bed now," I say but he stops me.
"Hold on let's do something today and you can stay here for another night if you want," Jake says.
"Thanks but I'm really hungry to go anywhere right now," I said.
"Alright I'll make eggs and bacon it's the only thing I know how to cook," Jake says and I laugh little. We eat and I go to my car and drive back to Logans house to get my phone charger and maybe a shirt because I'm still wearing Jakes sweatshirt. I get here and knock because my keys in my purse witch is in the house because I thought I was going home with Logan. He answers the door and I freeze completely frozen. So frozen that when he comes for a hug I don't move.
"Tessa! Your back I'm so sorry I shouldn't have done that. I was jealous because you were talking to my brother when I told you to tell him you couldn't talk. I'm stupid to ask that and get mad when you do I'm so so sorry," Logan said and hugged me but I'm frozen my arms are to my sids my feet are straight and my smile is barely a smile.
"Tessa are you okay?" Logan asks. He keeps trying to get me out of my frozenness but it didn't work. Until he kissed me. Now I feel like a doofus just like sleeping beauty or all the love at first sight 'Disney' movies. I now slap him because he kissed me.
"Ouch!" Logan yelled.
"Don't kiss me I guess I didn't make it clear. Let me spell it out. I. Broke. Up. With. You. I'm here for my charger," I say as I walk in. He stands there looking confused and hurt. That's me hurt and broken once again. I look around for my charger and I find it.
"I'm sorry Tessa I love you," Logan says. "Please don't leave."
"I have to I loved or love you I don't know I'm confused okay I need sometime," I tell him.
"Tessa it's all my fault I'm sorry I don't even love her it was some stupid act from jealousy," Logan said.
"You don't trust me and if you can't I can't trust you," I tell him tearing up.
"I trust you completely it was me and it's true I wasn't drunk and I'm sorry I'm so sorry," Logan said.
"Logan please let me go. This isn't easy but it's not supposed to be. I love you but we need time apart. If we still love each other we'll find our way back. Even if that means dating other people again," I say and a tear slips. I let it fall from my eye to my cheek to my chin and to the floor. Logans eyes are getting puffy I can tell he was crying before I came to. I still love him because if I didn't it wouldn't hurt like I'm getting cut in half.
"Logan I'll stay here and live here. But I will not be able to forgive you for a long time," I said.
"I understand," Logan says.
"Bye Logan," I say to him and walk to the door.
"Bye Tessa," he says and I leave. I leave my love behind and my heart.