Byrd
I wake up sore and groggy. After sex with Raidyn we both fell asleep and I softly cried through the night feeling out of sorts. I only ever had feelings for Leona, does that even make me bisexual? I never look at girls and like them, it has only been a one exception thing. Even now I don't see girls the way I saw Leona once. I'm still so confused and feeling like I was forced to come out makes matters worse. I want to take it back, I don't feel a weight lifted off my shoulder and I need help to lessen this terrible pain and panic I'm feeling.
I decide to go to the smartest woman I know. Leona. Thank the gods I catch her when she's not having sex with Donovan. I wish I could talk to him about this, he would know best, but I don't trust him enough not to spread my business.
"Leona?" I say softly. "Can I talk to you about something?"
"Yep, I'm just feeding Lonan." She nods holding her baby in her arms.
I scratch at the back of my neck. "Okay, this is really hard for me to say. Um, so, I've always liked men, well not exactly, I really have never liked anyone except Raidyn...but I did like Donovan...I guess not enough to have sex with him. Well I found this girl attractive and I mean I've never found girls attractive except for this one. Don't get me wrong, I love Raidyn most and would never cheat. But I'm not bisexual, I just don't feel like I am. I'm very choosy with who I like so I guess you could say I only really liked two people. I'm...I'm just confused." I don't bother looking her in the eyes.
"Well, are you asking me what you would be considered? I need to know more- like what do you consider yourself? Straight?"
"Yes, I always have." I nod. "Except for a little bit ago, now I'm just confused."
"Hmm...could you be heteroflexible?"
"What's that mean?" I tilt my head.
"You're basically mostly straight, but there is a few exceptions. You're not like fully bisexual."
I nod my head. "Makes sense, I guess." I feel my face which has heated up.
"When Donovan came out to me I was a bit surprised, but nothing changed between us. Please don't be ashamed." Leona frowns.
I give her a weak smile. "I'm trying not to." My voice waivers.
"Good, that's a start." She full-on smiles back and Lonan finishes up breastfeeding. "All done little cub?" She coos.
"I-I have to go Lady Mortley." My entire body stills.
"What? Why? Lady Mortley?" Leona furrows her eyebrows and fixes her shirt.
"I'm...I'm uh, busy."
"Byrd..."
"Leona." I say back my fingernails digging into the side of my legs."
"You don't want to hang out with me? You just wanted to use me for that question?"
"I'm sure you have Donovan to hang out with like you have been for the past week." I say bitterly not even meaning to.
"You've got nothing to be jealous of!"
"Why would I be jealous?" I bark.
"I don't know because you feel like he replaced you as my best friend?" Leona frowns.
I scoff. "That is ridiculous."
"So now I'm ridiculous, great." Leona huffs sarcastically under her breath and sets Lonan down in his crib.
I roll my eyes. "Yes, you are."
"Why? Are you judging me and my choice to sleep with him? I haven't even been primarily with him!" She hisses.
