Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

Chapter 7: Betelguese

  "Don't act so shy!" Beetlejuice gave a wide and sinister grin. "You called on me. So, what can I do for you?" He vanished as suddenly as he had arrived, quickly reappearing over Beth's shoulder and making her jump. "Need some folks out your house?" 
"No." She replied, but he continued to speak over her- rushing about the room like a mad man. 
"Worried about an exorcism? Need some help finding the other side? Haunting! Have you tried haunting? I know a few tricks-"
"I need your help!" Beth interrupted. "But I can't tell you what's the matter until you shut up." 
Beetlejuice paused momentarily before throwing his head back again and cackling. 
"Of course you need help! Everyone does when they...." His voice trailed off, eyebrows drawing together, his face was the picture of confusion. "Wait a minute," he said, "You're not dead." 
"Of course I'm not." 
"Well the last time I had any contact with the living I had a lawsuit on my hands." He laughed again, slapping his thigh like a silly pantomime dame. Beth couldn't tell if it was all an act or if everything he was doing was totally honest to himself. Either way she didn't like it and he made her very uncomfortable. "But don't look so scared, I'm always happy to help!" Beetlejuice continued. "Especially a pretty little thing like you, you don't have an older sister do you?" He studied her appalled face and laughed again, louder this time. 
"Shush, my mom will hear you!" Beth scolded, raising a finger to her lips. 
"Then you'd better tell me what you want help with before I get bored and cause some real problems." He sat on the end of the bed, arms resting on his knees, face turned upwards with that dreadful wide grin fixed upon it. 
"W-well," Beth stammered, "You see the thing is, we haven't lived here long but I've already made very good friends with the two people in the attic."
"Two people in the attic?" Beetlejuice tilted his head, his skin changing colour slightly with the shift in lighting. 
"Barbara and Adam. They're ghosts." Beth explained as clearly as she could. 
Beetlejuice jumped to his feet, towering over her, was it possible that he was even taller now? 
"Barbara and Adam!" He repeated, "Old friends of mine, we go back a long way. Good guy that Adam. And as for Barbara.. well Adam's a lucky man!" He chuckled and dug Beth in the ribs with his elbow. She recoiled away from him. 
"Yes. Well they're also old friends with my mom who lived here when she was a girl but she can't see them any more and I was wondering if there was any way-"
"Who's your mom?" He cut in, ducking down and bringing his face close to hers. 
"Mrs Kirke." Beth replied. 
"First name?"
"Lydia."
"Last name?" 
She hesitated, the look on Beetlejuice's face worried her. It was a mixture of excitement and mischief but it was not at all playful. Instead it was incredibly sinister and she almost didn't answer him at all but eventually gave in. 
"Deetz." 
"Lydia Deetz." He straightened up. A triumphant look in his eyes. "I remember her very well."
"You know her?" Beth was surprised, her mom had never mentioned Beetlejuice to her and yet she had talked so freely of Barbara and Adam. 
"Know her? She left me at the alter." He pulled a melodramatic "sad" face, drawing a tear streak down his left cheek with his finger. Beth was finding it all very hard to process. 
"At the alter? She... she was going to marry you?" 
"Don't sound so surprised, I'm a very eligible bachelor - note that." Beth shuddered. Beetlejuice, whoever he was, was truly awful. "You mean to say she never even mentioned me?" He continued, "Her very own ex-fiancée?" He put a hand to his head and fell back on the bed in a dramatic swoon. 
"Not so much as once." Said Beth. She hoped she sounded as callous and mean as she intended to, for she wanted nothing more than to see the back of Beetlejuice and she didn't care much for offending him. 
"Well can't be helped." He sprung back up. "So your mom wants to see Barbara and Adam does she? I'm afraid that can't be done."
Beth's heart sank. "Is there nothing you can do?" 
"Nothing short of killing her." Beetlejuice grinned wickedly as though a plan was forming in her head. 
"Don't you touch her!" Beth, for all that she was young and small, was fierce and truly scared of very little. 
Beetlejuice held up his hands defensively. "I won't! I won't! It's against my code of ethics to murder any of my ex wives and fiancés. I haven't done that for years!" 
"Well if you can't help," Said Beth decidedly, folding her arms across her chest, "Then I suggest you leave." 
"Fine, fine. I'll be on my way for now."
"For good." 
"I'm making no promises, baby." He winked, grinned, and vanished, leaving a bewildered Beth standing alone in the middle of her room. She glanced over at her bed where The Handbook For The Recently Deceased  lay open on the page with the business card. She crossed the carpet and slammed it shut, tucking it underneath her mattress. It was the last thing she wanted to see.
"What a horrible creature that Beetlejuice was." She thought to herself as she pulled on her pyjamas and settled in for the night. She was almost sure he was lying about nearly marrying her mother but a niggling feeling at the back of her mind told her that he had been completely honest about everything. What had he to lose if he too was dead? And why would he lie? And maybe she was wrong about him altogether? Maybe he wasn't a bad man, just slightly... off? Her mom must have seen something in him if she agreed to marry him. Oh but then if she did why did she leave him at the alter! Beth rolled onto her other side and groaned, all her thoughts seemed jumbled up in her head. 
It was a long time before sleep finally caught up with her, but when Lydia came to check on her at half past twelve she was sleeping like a baby.