2nd October 2017, half past eight
I
don't
care
what
they
say
I
will
not
let
you
die
alone
tonight.
****
Life After Death
Have you ever held someone as the died? I have. But not a person. A mouse. A Guinea pig. A plant. Flies. Spiders. Those annoying mosquitoes.
I watched as their soles drained and their bladders released, their muscles tensed; you see, they can no longer hold any liquid in side, any runny noses or rear ends empty like there's no tomorrow. I felt as their hearts stopped beating and afore me lay a lifeless body, an empty brain in an empty shell.
Do you know how that feels?
It hurts. It hurts in every cell of my body, almost as if I were the one lying on my death bed.
It's terrifying. A world without them in it. Who am I going to call in the morning? What am I going to say to an empty chair?
But they were only pets. Only a few years wasted. They weren't real, they didn't even know who I was. Losing a human is so much worse.
It still hurts, you know. Even a fly drowning in my cup of orange juice fills my lungs and shatters my heart. It didn't stand a chance against the ocean of sticky liquid and waves four times higher than the worthless little thing.
I wasn't there when my grandma died. But I felt it. I felt the tears running down my cheeks and the blood draining from my head. I felt my knees weaken and my lips tremble. I felt a piece of me die with her.
I was scared to forget our memories. I was scared, now that I was the only one who could save these stories for a rainy day.
I wondered where she was now, and I knew realistically she wasn't anywhere, she wasn't anything, but I still hoped she was still alive, I still hoped I didn't have to wear black at her funeral.
So I ask you again; have you ever held someone as they died? Have you ever seen someone die? Because I'm telling you, if you haven't, then you will, and it will tear you apart.
A/N hi. Another happy update for y'all. I've not been feeling up to standards lately, and I know why but I refuse to admit to it. Stupid old me. So instead I'll bless you with some less happy thoughts, you're welcome.
It's all I've got at the moment :(
Stay safe xx
BẠN ĐANG ĐỌC
blurr.
Thơ caThis is my heart spilled onto pages, don't get too caught up in the mess.
