Louis can't believe Harry. How can he say that he isn't a father? Just because your child isn't here anymore doesn't mean that you aren't a parent. Louis' in the car driving around trying to figure out what to do. He can't go home because he's scared if he goes back he'll shout even more and things will just get worse.
His car pulls into a familiar driveway and he sighs loudly as he imagines better times.
"Dadda, I can't wait to show Andrew my new doll! Do you think he'll like it," Charlie asks. Louis unclasps her seat belt and helps her out of the car. A pink tutu is tied around her waist and her red rain-boots cover her feet. She was in the phase where she wanted to choose her own outfits and this what she decided on. Harry and Louis both stifled smiles as Charlie demanded her bright red boots instead of the sneakers Harry had offered her.
"I don't know, Darling, I guess we'll have to wait and see," Louis explains.
Louis shakes the memory from his head and curses under his breath. He slides from the front seat of his car and hesitatingly makes his way up to the front door. He glances down at the driveway and notices a few chalk drawings.
"Look, Dadda! Andrew and I drew on the road! Mr. Andrew's Dad said it was okay," Charlie explains. She shows of her drawing of a... horse or a... dog maybe? Louis wasn't sure, but he's proud of his daughter either way.
Louis brings his hand up to the door and knocks lightly, hoping not to wake the sleeping Andrew. It must be past his bedtime at this point as it is past eight.
The door opens a moment later and he's met with one of his good friends. Niall's bleached hair is wet and hangs in front of his face as if he's just got out of the shower. He wears a fitted white shirt and a pair of pajama pants.
"Louis? What's up," Niall asks. Louis sighs and brings a hand to his neck.
"Can I come in? I needed to get out of the house. Harry and I got into a huge fight and I needed to uh... clear my head," Louis explains. He can feel himself starting to get choked up on his words. He hopes he hasn't ruined everything with Harry. He knows it's dramatic to think he has, but he did say he's through as he left. Louis prays Harry didn't take it as Louis breaking up with Harry.
"Yeah, come on in, excuse the mess you know what kids are like," Niall explains. Louis' heart clenches. He hears Niall start to apologize, but he waves him off. He's too focused on the splash of yellow out of the corner of his eye. He turns and sees the familiar Tinker Bell doll.
"Tinker Bell is the best fairy, Dadda! I'm like Tinker Bell, and Andrew is like Silvermist because he likes the water and is my very best friend. You're Fawn because you like animals and Papa is like Rosetta because he always has to look pretty like a flower!"
"So, what happened between you and Harry? Do you want to talk about it," Niall asks. Louis' eyes glance around the kitchen trying to find something else to concentrate on. His eyes land on a picture of Andrew and Niall pinned to the fridge. The comparisons between the two can be seen almost immediately.
Off the back, you see the difference in skin tone. Niall's pale skin contrasts with Andrew's dark skin greatly. Niall adopted Andrew when he was really little. As Niall told it, he always wanted a child and wanted to look into adopting. After hearing children of color are among the least adopted groups, Niall became adamant on adopting a non-white child.
Niall does everything in his power to give Andrew the best life and to make sure the boy knows and understands his blackness. They attend a dominantly black church and live in an area that's racially diverse.
"Harry said that he wasn't a parent at his art show. He painted Charlie and I know it was Charlie and someone asked where he got the inspiration and if he had a kid. Harry said that it... that it wasn't her. I'm still a... I'm still a dad, right? Harry and I are still parents even thought she's not physically with us anymore?" Louis' voice is shaking.
"You will always be Charlie's dad, Louis, no matter what. It hurts for Harry to be reminded of what happened and he probably doesn't like to think about it. Once you're a parent you're always a parent. You've raised a child and even if you don't have physical proof of it anymore, you're still a father. Nobody can take those experiences from you," Niall explains. Louis wipes his eyes shakily and tries to hold himself together.
He'll never get to celebrate her kindergarten graduation, or her sweet sixteen, or her wedding. Louis will never get to anxiously wait in the waiting room while Charlie is giving birth or give her parenting advice. He'll never get to see his sweet girl grow up and it's cruel. The world is cruel to take such beautiful moments from Louis and Harry.
"I just-t, I don't know how I can do it, Niall. I-I wake up and remember that my... my little girl isn't here anymore. I'll never hear her laugh again... I-I'll never get to tuck her into bed and I can't listen to her w-while she explains h-her latest fingerprinting. H-how do I go back to that-t? How do I go back," Louis asks. His voice is shattered and squeaky.
"Don't focus on that. Focus on the fact that you got to have those moments with her. The only other person that understands what you're going through completely is Harry. He's just as sad and broken as you are now, Louis, and you need to go back and work things out. The only way you're gonna ever heal from this is if you do it together," Niall explains. Louis nods and pulls out his phone. He wants to text Harry and tell him that he's sorry and he's coming home.
Husband 💚
Louis I'm sorry
Husband 💚
Please come home
Husband 💚
I'm worried about you Lou please text me back
Husband 💚
I'm sorry
You
I'm okay
You
I'm on my way home
You
I'm sorry
YOU ARE READING
Charlie
Fanfiction"'Cause you were just a small child, alive for 6 years then torn from life. Maybe you were needed up there, but we're still unaware as why." Or The hardest thing Louis and Harry had to do was give their sweetest Charlie back to heaven
