the reason why we're in so much pain is because we're both stubborn. we both want what we want, and we can't change. i want love and a life with you. i want you to talk to me all the time, and i want to stay up all night on the phone talking about nothing even though we should be asleep because we have an early day full of physical and mental activities. you want to hang out with your friends. you want to spend every second of everyday and night doing things you want to do which includes ignoring me and my desperate messages and letters. i want to grow and live in a house with you and our three kids and i want to come home and cook dinner for all of us and sit down at the table and just look at you and want to cry because i made it when i never thought i could. i made it when i wanted to scream and cry and smoke until my lungs were black and cut until my skin was red. and you say you want that too, but we both know that you're just living your life without really living. i'm the ocean and you're just the sand the waves bring in. i'm magnificent and profound and you're just a small grain that can break down easily. i'm nothing without you, but you're everything without me.
