Control

Part 5

Rogue had lost it, and was currently shovelling the shit off her desk in a desperate attempt to find it. She'd sworn she left it in her bag last night. But the book seemed to have just up and vanished. Rogue now lifted her mattress, moving things out of the way in hopes that maybe it fell down the edge.

But it couldn't have fallen down, I didn't even have it out last night she said mentally.

She was getting annoyed in her search, as she felt it was hiding from her purposefully. She now ripped her bag open with a stark viciousness, digging to the bottom. Still not finding it, she upended the bag onto her bed. Nothing but her school books and a few bits of rubbish from past lunches.

If I have lost this fucking book... Thoughts of a super pissed off Ms. Norton crossed her mind. With one final cave-man like grunt, she gave up, thinking that she would look for it when she got home.

Donning her backpack (newly re-packed), she walked briskly out the door.

Royce was gone, but Lily was still lurking. Rouge walked straight through the living room to the kitchen and stuffed some food from the cupboard into her bag. Whist she was doing this, Lily seemed to have snuck up on her.

"Have a nice day at school" She said in that awfully too polite voice of hers, so polite that it was weak with faintness. Rouge felt the stirrings of annoyance at having to listen to her speak. If she told her that, Royce would surely find out, so she kept her mouth shut.

"You can talk to me, you know" Lily said a little louder. Rogue thought about that for a second. This was the woman who gave birth to her. And perhaps for the first however many years of her life she had been an adequate mother, but that was all abolished in Rogue's psyche.

Those years of kindness had been far, far overridden by her standing back to allow the beatings and the psychological damage that had been done. Rogue wasn't ignorant to the reality that she was damaged. She had seen how other people's parents acted towards them, and it was almost a polar opposite of her current living situation.

Rouge thought that she was irreversibly bent out of place- like a steel beam, or a tree that had grown wrong.

"No, Lily. I don't think I can" She walked out the door, down the stairs, and to the station, not giving Lily a second thought, because Rogue didn't think she deserved one.

She had jumped on the train just in time. Finding a seat was, however, a different story. She went through three carriages before the found a seat, and when she had found it, she understood why it was vacant. The tattooed, jobless douchebags were shouting at the other end.

Rogue had already sat down, and if she got up now, so soon after hearing them them, they were sure to notice her. Today they hadn't picked anyone to toy with, they were just shouting at each other and swearing a lot. Rouge put in her earphones and hoped for the best, and the best came, because they ignored her the entire train trip before getting off.

Rogue almost fell face first getting off the train.

She slipped with her first foot and ended up on her knees. A group of male school kids that were waiting to board the train burst out in cackles. She eyed them all off, one by one, and was close to swearing her head off.

She decided against it in the end.

Putting on her pissy face, she walked the trip to school in a huff of anger. When she had her face in her locker, grabbing books, someone accidentally hit the locker door, slamming it into the side of her head. She looked around, and saw Angelica's hair swaying further and further into the hallway crowd.