LUCID

Chapter 6

Time passes like a feather falls, slowly never getting any faster. Patiently, I wait for something a force of something knocking me into a sleep. As much as I wish it would work it doesn’t. My eyelids are heavy but when I close them a panicky feeling spreads through my veins. The pills make me shake every bone in my body, steering up this feeling of staying awake.  No wonder they’re so cheap, basically useless. The rest of the night consists of me slamming my face into my pillow praying to fall asleep.

 In the morning I count my hours of sleep on one hand two and a half. And it’s already time for me to get ready for school. As I reach the entrance of the kitchen I hear two low murmurs. I already know who the two of them are, Nikki and dad. Their voices are too quiet for me to make out so instead of snooping I walk inside and confront them. “What’s going on?” I ask. Nikki looks at dad with disgust and then turns to me.            

 Neither of them knows which of them should explain first so Nikki speaks up. “Our mommy has impelled this idiot to try and persuade us to go out with her for dinner tonight.” Mom talked to dad? Mom wants to go out to see Nikki and me? Is she moving back in? The worst thing is dad is on her side. “And guess what she had the nerve to tell him if we don’t want to go out she could come here and visit. Just take a moment to imagine her strolling down the hallway like she owns the place,” She stops so I have time to mentally picture her doing just that. I give the two of them a mortified expression. I really don’t want to act civil around my mom. Since if I did see her again it would only be for the reason to cuss her out.

  “Why do you guys think about it like that? It’s Mother’s Day after all; she only wants to see her two girls.” He gives us a sympathetic look.

Now I know it’s my turn to get angry. “How can you say that? When you don’t know if she’s had other kids? Wait never mind, she doesn’t have other kids because she hates them, I would know from personal experience.” I almost regret what I just said, but then I don’t because it’s true. Nikki agrees with a laugh. It’s strange to think about that though, having a little half-brother or half-sister.          

 “Actually that’s not all true; you’re going to have three step siblings soon.” He says. Nikki looks at me shocked. Why would mom agree to marry someone who has children? The only thing I can come up with is that this guy she’s going to marry must be wealthy. That must be it. “And she wanted to talk to you guys tonight about you coming to her wedding.” He adds.

 Nikki shakes her head holding back tears. “Why does she deserve anything from us after she’s taken so much? For years she’s been living some luxurious lifestyle over in Europe while you’ve had to work your ass off to restore this shitty family.” My dad cringes at some of her word choice but he doesn’t say anything, after all he swears allot on the phone. Plus it wouldn’t be a good time to start sharing with us the values of using proper language, especially after he missed the perfect opportunity while we were in elementary school.           

 “I’m no better than her and you guys know that,” This is one of those few moments that my dad indirectly mentions his sex life. “And maybe she doesn’t deserve anything from us but you guys should have a relationship with a mother like figure. And I’m sorry I haven’t provided you with one but why don’t we start with your own mom. If she’s willing to let you guys back into her life why not try?”

 “Fine I’ll go but only if I get to miss three days of school with an excused absent.” Nikki smiles and I can’t help but wonder why she’d say that when she doesn’t care about school anyways. Why specifically three days? “And Claire has to come too, no way am I going to let mom have the chance to talk about my personal life.” Personally I’d rather not see my mom again. She destroyed the good the kept us together, now we’re just people under the same roof with separate lives. I can’t believe Nikki would just go along with it, I mean especially after calling dad an idiot for coming up with the idea. And honestly, I don’t want to see her again if Nikki and Dad would be fine like they used to be then I’d want her gone.