1919 - Thomas Shelby x Reader

Chapter 77 ~ Guards up

Thommas's P.o.v.

After a wild night of drinks and stories everyone was feeling a little worse for wear. Hangovers were being experienced by a large quantity of the Blinders this morning. I made my way to the kitchen and found my brothers and Michael having something small for breakfast "ready for the big day tomorrow, Tom?" Arthur asked groggily. He was holding a hot cup of tea to his forehead trying to combat the headache pounding within him. "I am, I just hope you lot are up for it" I stuck a cigarette between my lips and lit it up sending the smell of smoke wafting around the kitchen. "Is everything alright Michael?" I asked peering over.

He looked up for a moment and then went back to what he was doing "Yeah everything is fine, just nervous for tomorrow". I took a seat at the table and flicked the bud letting ash fall onto the small try in on the table "Never been to a wedding before?" I asked assuming thats why he was so on edge. "No but thats no exactly why im nervous. Im nervous somethings going to happen at the wedding" he shook his head trying to discern the thought. I knew how he was feeling, everyone did.

Later that day Poll had come over to go over a few things and make sure that everything was running smoothly. She had tried to get the boys to calm down, specifically Michael which was understandable. "Thomas I just want you to know that if anything does happen Ada and I will get Annabelle out of there as quickly as possible" Polly folded her arms across her chest. "Thank you Poll, but I don't think we are going to have any problems... How's she doing?" I asked calmly. It was killing me not being able to see her until the big day but at this point in time we needed all the luck we could get. 

"She's doing well. She misses you greatly and wants to be back soon" she smiled small. "You don't seem too happy Poll. Whats going on?" I asked blankly. I could see a dullness in her eyes and was picking up a lot of negative body langue that lead me to believe she wasn't telling me the truth, at least about how she was really feeling about the wedding. With a sigh she just shook her head "Tom... I haven't forgotten and none of the boys have either" she stated somewhat defeated. "Haven't forgotten what?" I stared at the table for a moment waiting for her response. 

"Tom. What if she accidentally found a way back to her own time and cant get back here? Last time John forced her but what if she actually figured it out this time" My heart sank but I didn't let it show. I simply looked up at her slightly clenching my jaw and removed myself from the table. I walked away quietly but when I got to my study I couldn't help but throw something. I picked up one of the glasses from the bar table and pegged it at the wall. The one chance of happiness I am being granted and all everyone is thinking about is how easily she could leave "Am I never to be happy" I sighed under my breath.

I walked over to my door and locked it disabling anyone wanting to enter. I walked back to my chair and sunk down into it. All I could think about was her smile, the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy even how she laughed. She is my everything and yet nobody can see it and if they do they can only think of her leaving me, disappearing or taking her. Some even worried she will die because we are about to get married. 

I would gladly sacrifice myself for her. Id bite the silver bullet between my teeth before I would ever let anyone harm her. She is golden and pure and not only do I need her but so do our children. Our family wouldn't be compleat and it frightens me to the very core that our children god forbid would have to grow up without their mother. I wont allow it. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon playing with our children trying to make myself fell better. I wanted to show them how much they meant to me and how I would never let them down. How our family would always be compleat no matter what. Looking at our son and daughter I could see so much of her in them. Bother had her beautiful sandy brown hair and shared our twinkling ice blue eyes. Even when they smiled I still caught glimpses of their mother as if she was standing right in front of me smiling herself. I wouldn't wish to spend the rest of my life with anyone else. "Mummy be home soon?" Charlie asked me with a pout.

I smiled down at him "Of course she will be". He looked down at his toys and began playing with them again. I sat up and peered out the window at what was happening outside. The Blinders were still setting up but everything was pretty much how they needed to be. John and Michael were mucking around near the front gate and Arthur telling jokes to some of the resting men. Aunt Poll of course was busy bossing everyone around. I still couldn't believe she thought she might leave.