Fandom Randomness

What Your Favorite Star Wars Character Says About You

I've always kinda judged how much someone likes Star Wars by how obscure their favorite character is (more obscure=more nerd). From there it's a short leap to making gross generalizations and offending the entire Internet.

+

Luke Skywalker
• Filthy casual
• Unsuccessfully trying to flirt with me
• Boring guy who doesn't know the difference between a clone and a stormtrooper
• Always misquotes the "I am your father" bit
• Whiny

1

Wedge Antilles
• Most likely a dad
• Was around for Original Trilogy
• Forgot that "many Bothans died" for the second Death Star for like five seconds
• Owns a crudton of Expanded Universe books

+

Mara Jade
• Probs a ginger
• Loves to read
• Looking for love in all the wrong places
• Does not make empty threats
• Narcissist
• Old soul

+

R2-D2
• Always saving your friends's butts
• Kinda short
• Loves to curse
• Tech whiz
• Gives great hugs
• Probably speaks another language but not fluently, only enough to insult people
• Cannot be replaced, ever
• Likes naps
• All your friends are younger than you, and way less mature but you're the only one keeping them alive
• One-half a killer comedy duo
• People say your dog looks like you
• Extrovert
• Owns at D&D

2

Kylo Ren
• Is Elaina
• Needs to read Expanded Universe
• Slightly emo
• Does some sort of winter sport
• Has Wattpad but never posts
• Owns replica Death Note filled with names
• Darth Cædus is better (can't spell it but the 'æ' character makes you looks smart so 🤷‍♀️)

1

Obi-Wan
• Probably named Ben
• Quite young
• Annoying brother
• Doesn't notice when I just sorta claim his Star Wars stuff because he never uses it

+

Rex
• Comes from house of all boys
• Always wears blue
• Likes foxes but not in a furry way
• Addresses everyone as 'bro'
• Respected by all
• Only guy who can be "just friends" with a younger chick and actually be just friends
• Great at chess
• Way too nice

+

Ventress
• Has undercut
• Knits to de-stress
• Parents do not approve of wardrobe
• Frequently lies on resumé but gets the job anyway
• Has made bad decisions in past
• Says mean things but doesn't always mean them

1

Maul
• Never lets people forget the three bucks you loaned them
• Overly competitive
• Has a tattoo from that night you got WAAAAAYYYY drunk
• Believes people can change
• Unloved as child

+

Han
• Shoots first, asks questions later
• Your parter makes you a better person
• Drives souped-up truck
• Your dog is your best friend
• Bad with children
• Bad with people in general
• Let's go back to the dog thing
• Sarcastic at all the wrong times
• Gambles too much
• Doesn't shave enough; scruffy

+

Anakin/Vader
• Wears black a lot
• "The angst is strong with this one"
• Food before anything else
• Way too protective
• Tech is love, tech is life
• Kinda mean to Trekkies
• Will never admit to enjoying time spent with younger people
• "LOVE ME"
• Everyone is your friend, despite your introvertism
• It's a miracle no one has murdered you yet

5

And finally, at least for now, my girl Ahsoka Tano, a well-loved character here on Wattpad, and utterly loathed everywhere else. HERE WE GO!
• Female
• Child of late nineties/early two-thousands
• Smarter than lets on and hates being treated like a child
• Love/hate relationship with SWR
• Hipster glasses. Unironically.
• Addicted to fan fiction
• Probs not short
• Most of your friends IRL are guys
• Has gotten in at least one fight about ships on the Internet
• Weirdly good at couple names
• Acts way older or way younger than you are, there is no in-between
• Most likely anime nut
• Has nicknames for everybody (seriously I've referred to Elaina as 'Elric' so many times she's stopped caring)
• Slightly clumsy
• Had a phase where you said things like "good Greivious"
• Simply the best kind of person seriously I love you guys Internet hug time.

7