I'm Not Okay [UsUk]

Cherish

"Arthur kissed you?" Matthew was excited, asking the question with a happily surprised expression on his face. "So it must have been really good!"

Alfred chuckled lightly at his little brother's delighted tone of voice. "Yeah, it sure was." He stated shyly, the conversation taking his mind off his father's previous words. He was in this constant state of try to forget, and focus on the good but it didn't always work.
When he was with Arthur or his brother, though, everything seemed so much simpler, so much brighter... And he enjoyed every moment of it.

"I told you he likes you back." The younger teased, feeling truly happy for the nice moments his older brother got to experience with his long time crush. He was glad that Alfred could be calm and at least a bit cheerful today, since not everything was going right for him.

"I was really awkward, though... I'm glad I didn't mess anything up." Alfred admitted, laying back on the bed and making himself comfortable on the pillow while Matthew sat on the other side of the same bed.

Matthew answered to the words with a wholehearted smile. "You shouldn't be worried about that. Be happy you two started it off."

"I don't remember the last time I've felt this relaxed. Even with dad lecturing me as soon as I got home... I simply didn't care. I had a beautiful moment with Arthur and that's all that matters."

"All that matters to me is that you're happy, Alfred."

- - -

A bit later in the afternoon, around 4 PM, the two American boys were both focused on their work. Even though he didn't understand the math work, Alfred tried to at least have it written down if nothing else. He wanted to quickly scribble that down and sneak out to piano class while their father was still taking his afternoon nap. It would take him half and hour just to get there by foot, but to him it was all worth it for music.
And as long as his dad doesn't check whether he was still doing his work in the room or not, he'd be fine.

"Right, I'm done with most of my homework. I'm off to piano", Alfred announced to Matthew, quickly snatching his music sheets from under the bed and shaking off the bits of dust from them. Since he was still in the clothing that he wore to school, too lazy to change, he only quickly put on his shoes and was all ready to go.

"Okay, stay safe." Matthew responded, not taking his eyes off the English workbook which was spread out on the desk in front of him.

They said quick goodbyes to each other before Alfred silently opened the entrance door of the house, not making even the smallest sound. Closing the door in the same, slow manner behind him, he ran off carrying a bunch of papers in his hand madly, without a file. Luckily, it wasn't windy nor rainy, and the perfect weather to take a walk. In this case, a walk to the music school.
The dusty, old streets of London didn't seem as grey and dull, and the environment felt lively, illuminated by the sharp, November sun. He rushed over the open road, the traffic almost completely clear, only a few silver and crimson coloured cars passing by, stopping on the pedestrian crossing. A few teenagers from the school were hanging out next to the little supermarket at the corner, but he didn't know them personally, only from sight. He ran past them without a greeting and kept hurrying, already close to being out of breath. But it was good. Running helped him chase away the bad, escaping from the darkness he was trying not to get pulled in from day to day.

In a bit less than twenty minutes, he was there. Much earlier than he arrived usually, that was for sure.

He waited for the school door to open for a second or two, stepping in and explaining the doorkeeper that he had piano class to go to. After the man let him go pass, Alfred thanked him and ran through the big hall, up the staircase and through the corridor to the Music Department, the place where he made some beautiful memories earlier that day. Finding his classroom, the door on which his teacher's name, Rose Alderson, academic pianist, proudly stood on a golden plate, he knocked on it two times and got in only after hearing a 'come in' from the other side.

"Oh, Alfred, you're early today. Have a seat! I apologize we didn't have class on Wednesday, I had a concert in Bristol." The young teacher smiled, her long and curly golden blonde hair gracefully falling over her shoulders as she wrote something down in a small notebook.

"That's alright, how did the concert go?" Alfred smiled back to the lady, sitting down on the music stool and adjusting it, as a routine he did every time he would play. He placed the music sheets in front of him, on the piano, and pressed a few random chords just to warm up.

"It was amazing! There were many young musicians there, and I thought how good it would be to send you there, maybe next year already. You'd be perfect for that!" She stood up from her desk and brought the chair over to the piano so she could sit herself next to Alfred to have a clearer look of the keys. "What do you think?"

Alfred blinked in surprise, at a momentary loss for words. "I-I think that'd be great."

"I thought you'd like the idea." She chuckled, taking the boy's music sheets into her hands and choosing the Haydn sonata for a nice start of class. "Alright, have you practised this one lately?"

He nodded as a response, and the teacher placed the sheets for the piece back on the piano so Alfred would be able to see them well. Taking that as a signal to start playing, Alfred gently started off the tune, in quicker tempo than he usually practised in when doing it at home. Fully concentrated on the notes, he went through the entire first movement of the sonata in about four minutes, not making a single mistake. With the last chord pressed lightly, he finished and looked at the teacher to hear the comments about the playing, like he did every time.

"Well done, that was perfect! It usually takes students about half a year to learn this sonata, but you did it in less than two months. I'm really proud of you, Alfred. You have excellent hand movements, and the accents were very good." She stated her opinion on the piece, nodding with a smile as an additional confirmation. "Let's see... Play the etude next."

Now, the Czerny etudes were where it usually always got a bit sticky for the American, but he always managed to play at least fairly well, if not perfect. He chose a slightly slower tempo for this one, paying close attention to the left hand chords. Messing up one beat on the second page, he silently cursed himself for that mistake and made a few steps back to fix that part and continue playing. The rest of the piece went smoothly, and even the last bit where he usually screwed up was done perfectly.

"That was much better than last time. You still need to work on this part", she said and used a red pencil to circle the chords that were a bit more difficult to play, "but the rest was great! Let's try these few chords again."

And so he played them about fifteen times again and again until he finally reached perfection. "Better?" He asked, playing the whole row including the circled chords.

"Much better." She answered.

The rest of the class, they focused on Schubert's Impromptu which Alfred said he didn't practise all too much. But that was fine for the young teacher, who just responded that not everything can always be done. Alfred started playing it slowly at first, repeating the first part two times. The second page was the most difficult, and the professor herself called it the tragic death of pianists when they first started learning the piece. But with the boy's talent and persistence, nothing was impossible, and so that second page was checked off the list of difficult things in no less than fifteen minutes.

When the class came to an end, Alfred felt a bit gloomy for he wouldn't be able to play much until Wednesday next week when they had piano class again. He wanted to have it more than two times a week, but with awfully filled schedules for not only the students, but the teachers too, that wasn't something they were able to do.

"Right so, you were great today. Keep practising Czerny the most, even if it takes two hundred tries to get those chords right again, do it because it will be worth it in the end. And for the Impromptu, I doubt you'll have problems with that either. I'll see you next Wednesday!"

"I understand." Alfred picked up his music sheets, waving to the teacher with a smile. "See you!" He greeted back and exited the classroom in a matter of seconds.

Somehow, he always felt cheerful after music class, as if he received an incredible amount of energy for life just from playing those pieces.

And as he got out of the school and looked at the bright sky, he knew that today, nothing could take away that happiness he held inside.

Even if it lasted for just a day, he would cherish it forever.