𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [ 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 ] ✘

Think Twice

Note: Based off the song of the same title :)

Carl's POV

'Friend'. That word rang out in my head over and over all day. Even when I lied down to go to sleep that night. That hateful word was still there, mocking me, teasing me about what I would never have. She was perfect, everything I never knew I'd been looking for. And because of that one word - that six-letter insignificant word - she would never be mine.

I'd liked her for so long now. Since the prison days, come to think of it. It was when the sickness had come. She helped me look out for the other teens and kids. I remember some nights we'd just stay up all night on watch - talking and laughing till the sun come up just outside the window, shining its rays over the expansive prison. But somehow, those days had drifted away from us upon our arrival to Alexandria.

She said she'd just been busy but deep down, I knew it was that new guy. Ron. I saw how she was with him and honestly? It made something in my chest shatter when I saw their constant laughing and flirting. The way she'd twist strands of hair around her long fingers while smiling. Gosh, she was breathtaking. I couldn't help but think: does he love you the way that I do?

"Jealous?" a feminine voice asked from beside me and startled, I glanced up into Michonne's caring face.

I scoffed, trying to hide the pink tint on my cheeks underneath the shade of my Sheriff's hat.

"No," I bit out gruffly, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly.

Michonne arched an eyebrow, not saying a word as she sat down beside me on the porch swing. But my blue eyes were glued to the girl across the street. Just then, I saw Ron put a hand on her arm and a low growl emitted from my throat at the sight. I feel the hurt so physical. Suddenly, gentle fingers lifted up my Sheriff's hat and my eyes met chocolate-brown. I sighed, trying to brush her hands away.

"I'm fine, Michonne," I grumbled before saying lowly, "He just better think twice before he touches my girl..."

"You gotta tell her one day," she told me softly, ignoring my words completely.

I rolled my eyes, sighing.

"It wouldn't matter. She's always with him, anyway," I said, hooking a thumb towards the other guy.

Suddenly, I saw him give her a quick hug and a wave goodbye before walking off down the road. Michonne smirked over at me.

"You were saying?" she grinned, "Now or never, Carl."

Rolling my eyes, I headed Michonne's advice and got up off the swing before beginning to make my way over to her. As I did, I re-adjusted my Sheriff's hat and wiped my hands off on my jeans in nervous anxiety. But I could feel sweat reappear on my palms and I cursed under my breath. Finally, I reached her and she turned around, a bright smile lighting up her face when she saw me. Her tongue darted out over her chapped lips then and I felt my stomach twist.

"Hey, Carl," she greeted me warmly.

"Hey," I stuttered out, cursing myself mentally at my own nervousness, "We need to talk,"

She frowned in concern as I grabbed her hand and led her over to the white, rounded gazebo in the middle of town. The sun shone down through the latticed roof, lighting up strands of her blonde hair. She was so...beautiful. She had such a big heart - always spreading her love to everyone. It burned me up just to watch her be...her. I can't let go of her, she was...intoxicating just to be around.

She giggled suddenly and I blushed as I realized I'd been staring.

"So what's up?" she asked me, completely oblivious to the way she made me feel.

I bit my lip as I took a bold step next. With hesitant movements, I took her hands in mine. I'd always been waiting till the day she'd finally see I've been here waiting patiently...

"We've been friends for a long time, right? And we tell each other everything..." I started, trailing off.

She nodded, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, "Yeah, of course. Always! You know that. Carl, where are you going with this?"

Sucking in a sharp breath, I bit the bullet and just let the words tumble from my mouth.

"I like you," I confessed.

She smiled, not understanding, "I like you, too, Carl,"

I sighed, "No. I mean, I like you..."

It took a moment for my words to register but once it had, her light eyes widened considerably in surprise.

"Oh," she said, clearly shaken by my confession.

She shifted in her seat...away from me. And I felt my heart fall.

"Carl, you're an amazing guy-"

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no...

"-but we're just friends. I just...I just want to be friends," she told me softly, pulling her hands out of mine.

I felt a crack form in my heart and I bit my lip so hard, I tasted the metallic tang of blood in my mouth.

"Oh..." I breathed out loudly.

She put her hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me but I shrugged her off as I stood up from my seat.

"Carl, please! I'm sorry. I-" she started to say but I ignored it.

"It's Ron. Isn't it?! I see the way you look at him," I cut her off, my blue eyes hardening as my sadness mixed with anger.

Her eyes went down to her hands in her lap, confirming what I already knew to be true. I didn't stop then as I ran off, the words she called after me lost to the wind. My boots splashed in the puddles of rainwater that had collected on the street but I didn't stop there. The wall loomed up before me, towering over the little town. A horde of walkers had gathered just outside. I could hear their ear-splitting moans from here. With decisive movements, I scaled the wall and successfully made it to the top.

Standing from up here, I could see everything. I could just make out her figure in the distance, waving at me to stop. I nearly changed my mind then and there... But when I looked up, Ron was there beside her. I tried my best to muster a smile to her but it faltered. And when she grabbed his hand, I knew in my heart that I'd made the right decision.

She'd spread her love to everyone...everyone but me. Yet...I couldn't live without her...and why would I want to? Taking a deep breath, I gazed down at the snarling pack of walkers before pushing myself off the ledge. As I fell, I heard one last blood-curdling scream before I felt the pain of teeth biting into my skin.

It made my veins burn like fire for a split-second before it faded into numbness. My eyes fluttered closed then. All of this was because of her. Just her. She spread her love and burned me out and now... Now my life was over.

The last thoughts in my head before the darkness overtook me was...would she miss me when I was gone?