Storms {z.m.}

Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – Christine

“Listen to me, gorgeous. My brother loves you...as a friend. Just don't make this more complicated than it has to be,” she says taking my hands into hers.

“If he loves me so much why didn't he so much as call me one time in the last four years?” I ask raising my voice. It's more of an accusation than it is a question. I know he didn't call because he was probably busy with his new friends and later he met Perrie and that was the end of the little fantasy I had of us ending up together. I must admit I was happy when I heard Perrie had cheated on him, however twisted that was, because I knew he wouldn't forgive her for her betrayal. The thought escaped as quickly as it had popped into my head; I had moved on with my life. Although thinking of Zayn alone made me feel better than most guys did when they kissed me, I had to purge my mind and heart of the feelings I had for him.

It was the only way for me to live without him.

“Christine, I thought you were over him?” she said, almost in a question.

I was convinced that I was over him, or at least over the idea of being with him. But as soon as I saw his beautiful, angular face today, it was as if I'd returned to the night I was going to tell Zayn I loved him.

The memory is vivid in my mind to the day. I was standing in front of my mirror, scrutinizing my outfit as I had been for the last twenty minutes. This was the third outfit I had put on tonight and I still didn't feel like I looked cute enough to meet Zayn for ice cream tonight. My jeans looked too baggy and my baby blue cardigan made me look like a grandma. I groaned. Zayn would be knocking on the front door any minute.

It wasn't unusual for me and Zayn to go out alone, we didn't have that many other friends and we'd known each other our whole lives so I never read to much into it. Except for tonight. He'd called me earlier today and told me he had to tell me something important, but it had to be in person. My pulse quickened immediately. Maybe he's going to tell me he has feelings for me too, I thought. We agreed that he would pick me up at 8 and we would walk over to the ice cream parlour a couple of blocks away. I couldn't stop smiling all day: finally me and Zayn could be together. Not just as friends, but actually together as a couple. The holding hands, the late night texts, the loving looks from across the classroom, that was going to be us! My heart did pirouettes inside my chest.

I was finally going to understand the love songs on the radio. All of the lovestruck protagonists in the soaps would make sense to me. Romance novels would surely appeal to me even more now. I knew that today my life was going to change.

And it did. Just not in the way I expected it to.

“Aye, you look good, Crissy!” he said when I opened the door. He gave me that all-too-familiar high-five of his and we started walking down the street. I looked over at him as he walked with his hands in the pockets of his grey jeans. His tiny frame swaying back and forth as he tried to avoid the puddles of rainwater from last week's storm. To this day I don't know if he did it just because he wanted to, or in order to keep his white converse clean. His dark hair was freshly buzzed and I reached over to rub my hand up the back of his head. The prickly hair tickled the palm of my hand as he tried to shrug me away. He looked at me and smiled that smile that made his lips get thinner as his white teeth peaked behind them. The smile that made his eyes go from big brown saucers to thin slits with long eyelashes poking out. The smile that made my day every day without fail.

We talked about random things as we devoured our ice cream, and it wasn't until the walk back home that I brought up what was the important thing he needed to tell me.

“So what are you buttering me up for, Zen? I can't remember the last time you bought me ice cream!” I said jokingly as we walked back home. I looked up at the heavy clouds above us and hoped that we didn't get caught in the rain before we got back inside.

“Well I thought a lot about it, and although I decided against it at first, I finally decided to take my father's advice and it made me change my mind about what I'd” Zayn rambled. He was using his hands to talk as if it would somehow help the words flow faster. My heart was beating so fast. I thought about the many ways I could say that I loved him too. I wonder if he'll kiss me.

“I'm going out for X Factor. Tomorrow. And I'm not backing out like last year. I'm gonna do it, Crissy!” he finally finished excitedly. He put his hands on my shoulders and shook me with excitement. There was a huge smile on his face for a few seconds, and then it changed into a worried look. He began to rub his hands up and down my arms trying to comfort me. I don't what my facial expression looked like, but if I hope it didn't look anything like how I felt.

All of the energy and excitement for the relationship I thought Zayn and I were finally going to have turned on itself and shattered my heart into millions of pieces. I'd heard of heartache, but it was my whole body that was aching. From my toes all the way to the ends of my hair, my body was on fire and I couldn't believe I let myself get so excited over something that was never going to happen.

Zayn was a gem. He was a great lad and he would make a girl very happy one day. But it wasn't going to be the dorky girl who listened to Hilary Duff and still shopped in the children's section of the department store.