Silver or Gold

Chapter 8

TESSA

I pace back and forth in my room, waiting for Jem. I changed so my clothing choice is a little bit nicer.

Does this mean Jem LIKES me? But I like Will, don't I? Yeah, then why did I say yes to going out with Jem? Because I like him too? UGHHH!

I go downstairs and sit on the couch, frustrated. "What's wrong?" Alec asks, coming in from the kitchen. I don't know where Magnus is.

"I'm confused about stuff," I mutter, leaning my head back and staring at the ceiling.

"Do you want to... talk about it?" Alec asks awkwardly, sitting down in a chair.

I shrug, still not looking at him.

"I'm just confused on my feelings for him, I guess," I say quietly.

"Jem?"

"And Will," I add.

Alec nods and leans back. "I see. You like Jem, and you're going out with him, but at the same time you like Will?" he concludes.

"Pretty much," I admit.

Alec opens his mouth to continue, but the doorbell rings. He stands up to get it and sets his hand on the knob. "Tessa," he says to me before he opens the door, "We can talk more later if you want to."

I stand up and smile, smoothing out my shirt. "Thanks, Dad."

He opens the door to reveal Jem. Alec and Magnus have actually only met Jem once.

"Hello," Jem says. He peers in at me. "Hey, Tess."

I get a weird feeling at that. Will is the only person to have ever called me "Tess". A part of me wants to keep it that way, because... it's a thing between Will and I only. And that's special to me, I guess.

"Hi," I say quietly.

"Bye, Dad," I say to Alec, kissing his cheek quickly and then heading out with Jem.

"What movie do you want to see?" Jem asks when we get in the car. "Um, it doesn't really matter to me, I mean, whatever you want is, uh, fine," I say. It's not very long until we get to the movie theater.

We walk inside and end up getting tickets to some horror movie. I've watched horror movies with Will before- Stop it Tessa! Stop thinking about Will! You're with Jem! I think. We buy some popcorn and two drinks and go into the theater.

I check my phone before I turn it off. 20 minutes until the movie starts.

Jem starts talking about something, but I don't really pay attention. It's not that I feel like I SHOULDN'T be here, it's just... Jem and Will are both important to me, and I... I don't even know! I'm so confused!

The movie starts. It's pretty good, and at times I close my eyes and shrink down into my seat because I'm a wuss.

Afterwards, we go back to Jem's car and sit in it, talking. We don't go back to my house or Jem's house or anywhere, we just sit in the car and talk about school and life and whatnot. It's really nice, actually. Jem is an easy person to talk to, because he's so kind and accepting. Will can be sarcastic at times, and sometimes it gets annoying when I'm trying to be serious. Though, his sarcasm is one of the things I love about him.

And as Jem and I are talking, about life, just sitting in the dark car in the parking lot of a movie theater, I slowly fall in love with him.

But what about Will?

Finally it gets pretty late, so Jem drives me home. Once we're there, he opens the car door for me and walks me to my front door.

"Maybe we could do this again, sometime?" he suggests, shifting nervously.

I reach forward and take one of his hands with mine. "Yeah. I'd like that."

He looks at me with a nervous, cautious expression, like he knows what he wants to do but he doesn't know if I do too.

But I do.

I push up on my tiptoes and kiss him gently. The kiss doesn't last very long, but it makes my heart beat out of control anyway.

"Goodnight, Tessa," he says.

"Goodnight, Jem," I say.

And I watch him walk back to his car. Him sitting in the drivers seat, me on my front porch, we make eye contact one last time before we go our separate ways for the night.