I opened my eyes to a horizon alight with a beautiful variety of colors. Reds, blues, oranges, and yellows all harmoniously mixed, meeting together just at the edge of the land. The edge of the world.
The air feels cool, but it's not cold. Not here, and not for a while yet. The evening chill is creeping it's way through the atmosphere. I adjusted my hood to further shield my face from the little bit of wind. It didn't feel nice today. Not today.
The air carried a certain taint to it , one I couldn't pin point exactly. It was sour. Acidic. Something was wrong, and I could taste it on the wind. I glance to my side, and there she stands. Leaning against the trunk of a tree, seemingly deep in thought. Her eyes are dark, and shallow. The light that once resided in her eyes, in her whole being, has dimmed severely. She'd been through the process of losing herself, maybe she was continuing to lose her self while I looked at her. There was no telling. Her face was stony, and impenetrable. I remember a time where she wore her emotions on her sleeve.
Those days were long passed.
Everything about her demeanor now screamed out for nourishment. Both mental and physical. She was scrawny now, and defeated. She'd become a survivor, and nothing more.
I fought the smile from my lips. I loved her. Even now, I loved her the same as I did then. Nothing would ever change that. It was set in stone, more steadfast than anything I'd ever known before.
It was scary, keeping this knowledge in my heart. To feel such a strong emotion for another soul is something precious, and something very dangerous. It weighs down your heart, letting you know that it is constantly there. A new scar to wear as a badge to your devotion.
I was ensnared in her, and I knew I would never be free from the essence of her for as long as my soul continued to be in existance.
She looked at me then, and shifted against the tree. She looked me up and down, before nodding in my direction. A gesture I took as one of affection.
I found myself stepping closer to her, and she watched me warily. I brushed my hand gently across her shoulder. She froze at the touch, but soon she loosened up. She was as skittish as an emaciated cat. I left my hand on her shoulder, and soon enough she wrapped her hand around my wrist. She held onto me tightly, but with no menace in her touch. No, it was full of desperation.
I smiled at her, as much as I could. She closed her eyes, and leaned her head against my shoulder. I could have jumped for joy at this contact. Or rather, at the simple knowledge that she had missed me as much as I had missed her. This didn't need to be communicated orally. Her touch was enough to satisfy any doubts wandering around inside of my head.
Stars gathered under my skin where she rested against it, her body pressed against mine. I could feel the warmth of her presence spreading throughout my entire body from the point where we touched.
There wasn't much of her left to hold, so I held on all the tighter. I breathed into her wild hair, taking in the smell of the wood, of blood, of destruction, and still of lavender. Just like old times.
I closed my eyes, the waves of nostalgia washing over me being too much for me to handle. It was too much. I thought back to that day in the market, seemingly a lifetime away. I remembered the flowers in her hair, and the pure magic in her fingers. I remembered the smell of fresh bread, and produce. The sound of the horses, of the children playing, the storekeepers bartering. The sun was high in the sky, but nothing was as bright as her smile. Ah, that smile. The smile that had wormed it's way into my heart, burning it's memory into my brain.
I wished for that day. I pined for it.
I stood there, with her in my arms. The sun was going down, taking it's leave for the night. Danger would be upon us soon. Soon only the light of the stars would accompany us. No high sun, and not even a smile from her. I could feel the sadness in her bones, as if it was seeping into my own. There were no flowers in her hair anymore. No laughing, no talking.
Only the soft, encompasing silence. The silence that didn't mock, or judge harshly. The silence that could only accept. I suppose there was a sort of comfort to be drawn from that. As well as the fact I had her in my arms. She'd exhaled deeply, letting go of her fear, at least of me. She'd settled into my embrace as if she had never left. I could feel her breathing me in deeply, and nearly smiled at the thought of it. I stroked the top of her hair, wondering what she was holding inside of that golden head of hers. Perhaps she was thinking of the good times gone by, just as I was.
Perhaps her thoughts were otherwise occupied by the harsh cruelty that had taken control of her life since our last meeting. I wanted to weep for her soul, but somehow I could not. I'd worried over the state of her mind, her body, her soul, everyday since we had parted.
But tonight the air felt sour, and somehow I was no longer worried for her soul. One doesn't worry for the soul of a daisy, and that is what she was. Frail, dainty, and beautiful. I held a daisy in my arms, and for once, I wasn't afraid for her.
Tonight I was afraid for myself. I was afraid selfishly, of losing her again. The nagging feeling of displacement in the back of my head didn't allow me to be at ease. The colors were leaving the sky, and taking my hope with them.
I knew deep in my heart that tonight would not end well. Call it intuition. Call it a hunch. Call it whatever you'd like. Changing the name doesn't change the fear in my stomach.
I thought back then to a day from my youth. A cryptic old woman, bearing strong smelling potions and herbs, as well as dark talismans and fool's trinkets. She had no teeth, I remember, but managed to hiss out her message to you nonetheless. She had taken me aside, roughly and suddenly. She spat words into my brain that have since been stuck.
I hadn't thought on those words for years, but they were soon at the front of my mind, demanding to be known then and there.
You were born to die.
