Snowbarry: The Everlasting Question

Chapter One

Caitlin's POV

It's been a few weeks since we got Barry out of the speed force, and I still haven't told anyone that I'm losing control over my powers again. I would usually tell Cisco about it, but at this point he is too wrapped up in Gypsy to notice. I also wanted to talk to Barry about it, but he is so happy with Iris that I would feel too bad about breaking up that happiness. Honestly Barry and I haven't had a real conversation since he came back, it's all been about work and catching meta humans. Today I was working in the lab when I felt myself losing control. My powers where fluctuating and the cold mist was running down my hands waiting for ice to be thrown. I tried to call myself down, but I was panicking and it was getting worse. Just then, Barry ran to the lab.

"Caitlin I need to ask you a- oh my god Caitlin," he started to ask me but then saw my condition.

"I'm trying to stop Barry but I can't calm down," I said trying not to cry.

"Ok Cait, it's ok just look at me," he said and my heart skipped a beat when he said my nickname, even though I know it shouldn't. I looked at Barry's calming eyes, filled with concern and confusion, and the mist slowly went away and I was back to normal.

"Thanks Barry, what did you need to ask me?" I asked trying to avoid a conversation about what just happened.

"It can wait, I thought you had your powers under control, why didn't you tell us about this?" Barry said sitting down next to me.

"Who's 'us' Barry? Joe who hates me for what I did to Cecile last year? Wally who is too wrapped up in trying to impress you and prove he is a good hero? Harry who would ask me a million questions that aren't even about what I'm going through? Iris who hates me for leaving when you went into the speed force? Julian who left and never came back? Cisco who is too wrapped up in Gypsy to realize his best friend is spiraling out of control? Or you?" I said getting angry at how simple he made it sound.

"Yes Cait, me," Barry said furrowing his eyebrows.

"Barry we haven't had a real conversation since you got back, and even before that since I was killer frost," I said and Barry just looked down. "Honestly Barry the last time we had a conversation of any importance was when you drew me out of my killer frost state the first time," I said turning to leave the lab.

"Caitlin, we are still friends," he said grabbing my shoulder. I felt a pang of sadness at that statement, but let it pass.

"Come on, we both know that isn't true anymore Barry," I said and walked away. I started to get very sad about what I had just said to Barry, but even angrier that he didn't disagree. In fact, I grew so angry that it scared me, until I realized too late that it wasn't me getting angry, but her. I was going to calm myself down when I felt someone pull my shoulder back, which pissed me off even more, when it shouldn't have. That person's small action of pulling my shoulder set me off, and I turned full killer frost. I snarled at that person's face and pushed them to the ground. It was Barry, and before I could stab an icicle right through his heart, he sped me off he a meta human cell, and left me there I don't know how long.