soft allure. ° tozier

twelve

August 15th, 1986

The weekend passed in a hurry, and as Monday morning set upon the horizon.

The weak girl slid out of bed hearing 'Don't you (forget about me)' from her neighbours record player.

How terribly ironic for this horrible morning she thought.

She sat cross-legged on her bedroom floor, knowing that her aunt was already at work and even if Aunty Vee was home, she wouldn't disturb her on such a day.

Out from under her bed, she pulled a cardboard box filled with little memoirs of her mother's that she had kept.

This box was her most prized possession.

The first thing she pulled from the box was crumpled letter, one which to this day she could not bring herself to read.

A note her mother wrote to her before she took her own life.

On the envelope lay in pretty cursive lettering,

"To My Darling Opal."

Hands shaking, fingertips quivering as they ghosted over the envelope.

On a whim, she cautiously opened it.

Never had she been more scared, as she retrieved the letter inside and opened it up, smelling the very faint smell of Ruby Faye, her mother.

The letter read;

'Opal, you are the person I love most in the entire world.

You are beautiful inside and out, you're mind is brilliant and even though you don't think so,

I know that you can go far and accomplish even the most difficult tasks.

You will read this over and over, you will blame yourself for what I've done but Opal my sweet child, you are the reason I stayed around for the last sixteen years.

Please, I beg that you are stronger than I am.

I beg that no matter what you stay true to your values and never stray off the path.

Over the last sixteen years, you have grown to be the apple of my eye and you are the best thing that ever happened to me.

You did not come into this world out of purpose, we both know that.

However, I would not take back that day for anything in the world, I would not take back everything I have done to support you.

I hope that you never see me as a role model, I hope that I taught you enough from a young age that I am not what you are supposed to be.

For God's sake, I am the last person you should want to be like.

I wish that I was more like you.

With your brains and beauty; you are an inspiration, when the time is right you will find someone who knows this.

Now I hope, you will be happier and have the chance to live a good life, a real life.

Not the poor excuse of a life I have given you.

You are to stay with your Aunty Vee, she will welcome you in with loving arms and I know without a doubt she will be able to provide the best life for you.

Your Aunt has always wanted a child, but her womb is infertile.

This is best for everyone.

The best thing I've ever done, is raise you to be resilient.

Remember that time you punched Frank in the face because he passed a comment about wanting to sleep with both of us; I swear I was so proud of you, my heart was swelling.

Then there was the time you won that school math competition and everyone made comments about how because you were the daughter of a whore, you must've slept with someone to make sure you won.

Then you got up on the microphone, and said

"Shut the hell up, none of you know my mother nor do you know I. We work our asses off to get where we are, so why don't all of you ungrateful dicks pull the wads of cash out of your butt's and look around and see how lucky you are. My mom and I don't have even half as much as you but that doesn't mean we aren't just as talented."

Opal Faye you are one tough cookie, I admire you for saying the things I would never be able to say.

Never let anyone push you around. Opal's are the most unique gems in the entire world, and together we were everyone's two favourite gems.

But I've stepped aside now, so that you can be everyone's favourite gemstone. I love you my darling child.'

Grief set upon young Opal's shoulders, and memory was the only thing that habituated within her wild mind.

Sobs wracked her frail body, at not only her mother's words but also the memories of who she used to be, this tough badass, and now she had become this scared pushover.

Her mother would not be proud.

Exactly one year ago she had lost her bestfriend, partner-in-crime but most importantly she had lost her mother.

The one who had cared for her and raised her with honesty and bravery.

She loved her mother more than anything in the entire world, she still did and she forever would.

It just hurt to know that she could never go back and tell her one last time.

It hurt to know that her mother couldn't stick around any longer for her.

Yet in some twisted, sick way Opal totally understood.