My Double Lifestyles (Complete)

Chapter 18: I'm Sorry, Goodbye

"Before we go inside I need to know, will you be my lady" asked Ezra looking deep into my eyes.

Yes, yes! I want to be all yours! I want to be with you until the end of time. You're the only one whose ever made me this vulnerable. My heart was yelling that to tell him all that I wanted to grab his face and give him a deep kiss and tell him yes I want to be with him. But instead I turned and I saw Sky's car parked close by. I turned to see him again.

"I'm so sorry I really wish I could say yes" I said and I ran to Sky's car.

I heard him yell for me. I didn't dare turn back and I kept going. Once inside Sky's car I told her to go. I had tears down my face, I looked back and I saw Ezra yelling for me in the middle of the road it looked like he was crying too. Seeing him that way broke my heart some more. Why did I had to get close to him. Why did he had to change me, make me feel things. He's the first and last person who will ever make me feel vulnerable. He's the only person I will ever truly love. I don't think I can love anyone else like I've loved him. We were out of sight so I turned back and I was just looking outside silently crying. I'm glad Sky didn't try to talk to me on the way home. When we finally got home I just went straight to my room. I passed by Dave and Rico they tried talking to me but I just ignored them. When I got to the room I locked the door and I just fell to the floor, the tears they just came out nonstop. Rico, Sky, and Dave where at the door knocking telling me to let them in. I stopped sobbing and cleared my throat.

"Can you guys please let me be alone for tonight I don't want to talk about it right now, just please let me be" I said almost begging them to leave me alone.

"Okay but if you don't come out or open the door tomorrow I'll get the spare keys and unlock the door" said Rico.

"Okay" I said.

I heard them leave and I was just sitting there in the dark. I kept replaying tonight over and over in my head. Why couldn't I have a normal life. Why did my supposedly familia had to find out about my secret. Why was Gus so stuck on ruining my life. Why are my grandparents so interested in my life now and want me dead. Like what the fuck. I just wanted a normal life... Go to school, fall in love, graduate, go to college, make my parents proud, and have my own family. Now all that seems unrealistic. I want to give up but I can't and I won't not until I get my justice for my parents. The tears would come out once in a while and I was just spacing off looking at nothing until I eventually fell asleep. I woke up to someone knocking on the door. My body is all sore from falling asleep in the floor. I didn't say anything I was barely going to get up when I felt the door opening hitting me.

"Hey! Stop! I'm behind here, hold on" I said yawning.

Once I got up I opened the door and I saw Rico and I walked to the bed.

"Did you sleep behind the door? Cause you look like shit" said Rico.

"Well geee thanks for telling me that, but yeah I did" I said.

"Sorry I didn't mean it like that" said Rico.

"It's cool so what's up" I said laying down in bed closing my eyes.

"Well it was getting late so I just wanted to check on you" said Rico.

"Mhm what time is it" i asked.

"It's about to be one" said Rico.

"Damn I slept that much" I asked.

"Yeah you did, still sleepy" asked Rico.

"Yeah I am, can you bring me the wipes so I can remove my makeup" I asked.

"I'll just tell Sky to come help you I don't know shit" said Rico.