Now I got you in my space, I wont let go you - Disclosure
I told myself I wouldnt. I thought this was over but it'll never end until Im dead. I dont regret it, Is it bad I dont regret any of it. I wouldnt change a thing. It was imperfectly perfect. He took all my angrier and turned it into beauty. I felt like his and he felt like mine.
I know I sound like a hopeless romantic. Im not
I dont know where it started and I dont know where its going to end.
"You know you have to go home soon."
" Mhmm I know. "
"I dont want you to leave tho"
"I have too. Can you bring me home now?"
Colson rolled out the bed and left the room, I followed him to his car.
He drove me home in silence
"You have to come see me tomorrow ok ?"
I nodded and left
Now it was time to feel the wrath of my mom and Matt . As I walked inside, the house looked the same
No broken vases no nothing,
My mom was watching tv,
"Ma I know your mad but-"
"Im not mad Leilani, I dont know how I feel but I dont want you seeing Colson until I know how to feel. I know how much you like him but Idk I just really dont know anymore Leilani." Thats fair but Im not going to listen , I will see him.
Just like my dad used to see my mom, they werent supposed to see each other either but they did
I hope Matt went home.
"Leilani ? We need to talk."
Fuck , Here we go again, He always judges me on my decisions but wont look in the mirror.
"Yeaa Matthew ."
"Whats wrong with you! You never listen! First you run off at a party then you just lash out and leave with Colson! You know better! Your getting out of hand. You dont need to go 'hang out' with him again" Wtf he acts like he is my dad but my dad died.
"YOUR NOT MY FATHER! You can leave my room, my house, and my life. Im tired of you treating me like im your daughter, im not! I know im not the holiest person but nether are you. Im tired Bye "
:::
Ari and Ke'Shaun invited me over KeShaun's house and my mom said I could go. I dont know about Shay anymore, she never wants us around so we just dont fuck with her anymore.
"So what happened Lei Lei"
I informed Ari on how KeShaun put me out her car, Good thing I cant hold grudges
"Nothing much lol me and Colson just talked"
Ari slapped my arm
"Stop lying, what happened? You were with him for like 2 hours after KeShaun left you."
Was it really that long. Im not ready to talk about it. It was nerve racking and amazing at the same time. He showed me that he really did like me. We did talk but not for 2 hours, we did other stuff.
"Well ask him lol" KeShaun throw a pillow at me "Your Fake" lmao ok "Fine, I'll tell yall after I see him today okay?"
"Leilani how you gon see him today ?" I horn sounded as Ari finished her sentence,
"He is here. Sorry I didnt tell you guess earlier but I didnt want anyone to know."
They shook their head "You better be back in an hour."
"I wanna take you home with me but my moms there." That'll be the most awkwardest thing ever other than this sentence, Ive met her before but with Brian not Colson,
"Its cool, She probably wont like me after she sees me with you."
Fuck I didnt mean it like it sounded
"Wait, Not that anything is wrong with you its just that I met her before she didnt really like me and she might think Im a hoe or something even tho im not but you know Im not and i dont want you to be hostile cause thats your mom....."
"LEILANI! Shut up omg, its cool"
Maybe I did say to much, I was ranting. I usually only do that when Im nervous.
"Sorry" He took my hand in his.
I feel all girly inside but his hand is starting to sweat.
I slowly pulled my hand away.
Its weird that Colson likes me, Im used to him friend zoning me.
He said he only did that to stop himself from liking me but I think he only likes me so my 'dreams' wont be crushed.
"Where are going then, if not to your house"
"To Darrayan and Junes house, You remember them ?"
June and darrayan the only couple that lasted in Colsons group of friends. Im not surprised they moved in together. June always thought I was to good of a person to hang out with them but Darrayan thought otherwise, He always told me that this, the type of lifestyle they lived, was my home and no matter how good I do in life I've always come back.
"Yea I remember"
June is surprisingly gorgeous, she is 5'6 , she always had tanned skin but never used a tanning bed. she has a sleeve tattoo, she has tattoos down her body and on her back they fit her really well. She has hazel wyes and long red hair, she was born a ginger which is interesting to me. on the other hand darrayan is 6'4 dark brown hair brown eyes he is built with just as many or more tattoos as June
"They always talk abt you, you know they kinda miss you"
"Im surprised, they were never the type to say that."
He shook his head
"Nahh they always said there was something different about you."
~~~~
June was so happy to see me & darrayan was just happy that me and Colson talked again. We watched Orange is the new black.
"Hey Leilani before you leave I just wanted to say that Im glad you didnt push Colson away after he left"
I just smiled and waved while she went back in side. Why didnt I push him away, I am more happier that he is here than when he wasnt. I thought i moved on but i didnt. I should have, he hurt me. I hurt myself for him, It seems that i just like being hurt. I cant stay away from it, it lives within me.
"Whats on your mind?"
"nothing" I really wanna tell him that im happy he hurt me and not anyone else, I think Im in love.........
