One Day at a Time

Friday

Can I tell you a secret?

I see the message on my display. My heart skips a beat. Maybe two. I don't know why, but I can tell this is important. She's hasn't asked to tell me a secret even once in the 7 years we've known each other. My fingers tremble ever so slightly as I type my reply. 

Sure!

I wait nervously as she types her reply. What does she want to tell me? What's so secret about it? Why is she telling me, of all people? We only see each other once a month!

I'm lesbian.

I freeze. I saw this coming. I've never had anyone come out to me before. I really couldn't care less about who people are into. Coming out about it seems like such a big situation, though. And I can't handle big situations.

I'm waiting too long, I know it. I write something. Tap "delete". Then write something again. My brain cannot seem to find the right words to say. I always worry too much. It's a fact.

I don't know what I am just yet, but just know that I'm always on your side no matter what.

Yeah. That's it. 

Thank you.

I don't know why, but this warms my heart. I love seeing her happy. One of the million reasons we're friends, I guess. 

A blushing emoji shows up on the screen. Followed by a heart. 

For a moment I shiver again. Is she actually....? It's just an emoji, silly. Emojis don't mean much. It's what friends send to one another all the time. Emojis mean nothing......right?