You sit there. No. You lie there. In bed. Doing 'nothing', or so you tell your friends. But you're not doing nothing. You're wasting your life away in your bed, only moving when you need to piss. You're consumed by the internet. Hour after hour on Facebook, even though it's the den of the stupid, those who just want to tell every nosy bastard who comes across their page 'omg just got pregnant again lolz'. You're worse than a sloth, even they move occasionally.
You then take a break from the banality of your life to go and grab the latest pizza box on your bedside table, desperately trying to find more to eat, to sustain you for all the energy you need in your active life. You're just a glutton. There are starving children around the world yet you feel completely free to just leave pizza crusts here, half eaten kebabs there just because you can't be arsed to roll out of your pit to throw them away, or even just to cook a healthy dinner for once. Ordering takeaway online is the bane of your existence.
Since because you just spend your life in bed, you're such a worthless fat fucker, you don't even get touched by other humans. Yet you lust for contact. So you give in to your basest desires, and go to your favourite porn site. You only have to type the letter 'p', and it's there. You know this is the closest you'll ever get to being loved, since you're a grotesque waste of flesh. You reach down, and touch yourself. For that one second of release, you feel happy. But you shouldn't. Pathetic.
And even though you're hideous inside, you're so committed to trying to look good to the outside world. To people you've never even met. Doing your hair, changing your shirt so people think you do go outside, and enjoy the world once in a while. Snap. Snap. One like. Two. Ten. Your pride and ego feel so inflated right now. People you'll never see in person approve of you. The only security your life has, is that others like you even if you hate yourself. You know the cliché don't you? Be prepared for the fall.
You just got retweeted. Not your views, you just say what they wanna hear. 8 followers away from 600. You're greedy for respect. Sycophant.
You've done it again. Started another war online. Disagreeing with Diane's views, you're now arguing. Well, not quite. You're ranting. Foul, abusive messages. Personal attacks. Showing your wrath to everyone who's online, just because you have a different thought pattern. Terrible. You're meant to accept other views, but you can't. You're always right. They're always wrong. No grey here. Just black and white. You and them. You're a font of misplaced rage.
After that, you're now just messaging people. Commenting about others behind their backs. She definitely doesn't deserve him. He's too good for her. All because you have a petty little childish crush on them. They never have and never will notice you, but you're so envious of those that they pick, you set out to make their relationship implode. And then you wonder why they don't notice you? Short answer? You're a cunt. And everyone knows.
So, you still think you're doing nothing in that bed on the internet? Wrong. You're breaking every rule set down by those more powerful than you. You're the worst kind of person going, you know that right? Even in this age, when society is without faith, you still manage to commit every single goddamn deadly sin in the book. You're going to be condemned. And from the happy look on your face, you don't even know it. Trust me, you will.
I mean, you get pleasure from just simply demeaning others for no other reason than you're sick of your life. You get a perverse amount of joy from telling famous people that you're going to do horrific things to them. That they deserve to be raped just for standing up for their beliefs that they don't want to be associated with a football club who let a convicted rapist should they be signed. That just because they're celebrities who stand up for female rights, you sit there and tell them that they're 'flat-chested whores' and you talk more about the fact that there might be nude pictures of them online. They deserve it because they're in the public eye. That makes them open to victimisation. They're celebrities. This apparently justifies your actions. You're a 'Social Justice Warrior', a self-applied label that you gave so you feel like you're doing something good for society sitting in that dark basement of yours typing out words furiously about how 'Meninism' is better for society than feminism because it makes people more equal. You're not wrong. You're just a massive arsehole.
Looks like your precious internet is turning against you, person by person. And let's be honest, you deserve it.
