A/N: Slight trigger warning.
~Rissa
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After Drew and I had our "moment," both of us went inside and fell asleep. Well, Drew fell asleep. Me, I couldn't.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of that text message. It kept replaying over and over again in my brain, and I hated it.
The words were burned on the retinas in my eyes, and every time I close them, they were there.
'You are worthless,' the text said. 'You should never have been born. You were the one that ruined our plans of having a perfect family. I should have let your mother kill you when she had the chance. You are a mistake, and I will never love you.'
I opened my eyes and sat up, knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep. Silently, I stood and stuffed my phone in my pocket before starting to make my way towards the front door. My whole body shook as I tried to keep myself from crying.
I had no idea why I wanted to cry because I had stopped crying over them a long time ago. Their words hurt more times than not, and I knew that they would never look at me differently than a mistake that should never have been born.
My throat clogged up with dry sobs as I pulled on shoes that I left near the front door in a hidden cubby hole. I was already dressed in boy shorts and a tank top, so I wasn't worried about people looking at me weirdly. That, and it was five o'clock in the morning.
Not many people were awake, and I made sure that the staff who worked here would sleep in on the weekends. I didn't normally get up until nine in the morning anyway, and sometimes, I got up later if I had nothing else to do.
'You are worthless,' the message said, flashing behind my eyes as I blinked. 'You should never have been born.'
I shook my head as I disabled the alarm and opened the door. I shut the door behind me and started to run, wanting to run from my problems. I knew that they would still be there, but I had no idea how to get rid of my problem.
I was still a minor until another couple of months, and I "had" to live underneath the roof. I had no idea if my sister would go through the shit that I had been through if she was the only one living here, and I didn't want her to find out how degrading they could be.
My feet pounded harder against the sidewalk as I ran, sweat starting to form on my heated skin. Tears blurred my vision, and for the first time, I let them fall. I cried for me and cried for my sister. I had no idea why I was crying for my sister, but a part of me knew that she might not have an easier time with them.
I cried for Ethan and his family because his family still lived with his father. However, I knew that I was almost ready to set my plan into motion.
I cried for the loss of childhood innocence that Ethan's family had not received and for the innocence that I had never gotten. All in all, I just cried. I cried because I was born when I had no say in it, and I cried for the fact that I couldn't die.
I wanted to die some days, but I knew that I would be hurting people that cared for me. I knew that I had a purpose of serving those that needed help and prove to the world and to my family that I was not worthless.
I was worthy enough to be alive. I knew that there were people out there living life rougher than I was. Unlike other people, I did have a support system, and I knew that I was leaving my mark on the world.
I had no idea if it was a good mark or not, but I didn't care. I was going to prove my parents wrong, especially my father. I did not care if he would always think of me as a mistake because that did not define me.
The text might hurt, but I knew that I had to rise above it. I had to because of the people that needed me, wanting me to stay alive. They were the ones that their opinions mattered to me. They were the ones that I needed their love, even though I would like to have my father's love.
Even then, the text of my father still haunted me. It still made me feel low and worthless. And I knew that it was always going to haunt me and hurt me no matter what I did wrong or right.
'You are a mistake, and I will never love you.'
