Seductive Innocence (Jimin x Rosé) (Under Revision)

• Ninety - Five •

Tonorrow came...

▲▽▲▽▲

- Rosé

Now...
I'm on bed.
I cried just after Kai take me back here.
I also cried before he walked with me back here.

No one here knew that I went with Kai...
No one is even aware that I went out.

Sad fact, "no one's checking me".

This morning...
I felt numb.

After all the crying I did last night and earlier at early 2am, I just feel numb.

And every words from last night with Kai, it's all still vivid on my mind. I still can hear his voice and see his face while saying it.

After narrating him what happened...

I really expected him to curse or scold me...
But what I got was a genuine smile and a phrase that shocked me...

"You're someone unpredictable."

I am confused on his reaction,  I thoight he would scold me or get mad or will walk away since he knew that what I did will also hurt Chan, his precious bestfriend.

Buy he didn't...
Instead, he comforted me saying...

"That's it? Is that what you did to Lisa? I giess the two of you are really loke sisters already, first, I can't say that it wasn't your fault. Second, I already guess that you know what you did was wrong. Third, you're mature enough to see every sides of the situation. Why are you still broken? Haven't she forgiven you yet?"
           He asked...

And I answered...

"She did...but the acceptance, the full acceptance. And the trust, I still can't build the trust of her for me again."
         Tears began to flow quickly, faster than earlier.

"And?"
         He added...

"And I need to understand her becausenit was my fault."
         I answered while he's handing me a handkerchief.

"See, you also know what to do. Yoy nd her just need some time, if the two of you are really friends, then, you'll end up being together until the end. Might be hard and will take long process, butnit's worth it if that happens, right?"
         He smiled and as he did, the more I burst down crying.

"But betrayal got everything to destroy our everything. Lisa, she have comforted me the time I am devastated about Chanyeol, the night you and I had a fight. She comforted me, she consoled me hut just earlier, we began to see the conflict between us again. I saw the pain in her eyes again, like...like it was too painful for her that she can't forgive me, even Jungkook, she can't forgive me and Jungkook."
           I stated, sobbing and letting my tears fall now.

"That's very well normal, Chaeyoung-a. But this, remember this. She have forgiven you already, means, she have accepted you already buy the thing that you and Jungkook did, that's the thing she can't accept. No ome can accept that easily unless you're stupid enoigh to drown yourself. She's letting every emotion she has mow inside her before acceptong it, than accepting it now, then will burst when she got nothing to say already becausenit is done already and declared as accepted. Do you get it, Chaeyoung-a? I don't know Lisa well, I don't even kmow her real name. But real people, loyal people will have the same reaction and feelings towards what you did. Me, I am actually shock, I just held myself in cause I don't want to interfere your narration. I am still able to believe that it was you, yourself, the real you. Maybe, no one have seen it before, that side of you that will do something huge when you're not in a good state. I saw you slashes also, on your wrist, I guess you cutted yourself that time? While having a conflict with everyone that surrounds you after making out with Jungkook, didn't you?"
            I looked down and went silent as he looked at me with questionable look.

"See,you cutted yourself which is unblievable that Park Chaeyoung who is believed to be innocent and charming will ever do that. And what you did, it is really horrific. But what can we do? What can we do if the real you was that person? Mm? Everyone should just accept the reality, maybe not now...maybe not in the near future, but it will happen. Trust yourself."

Yhe wprds coming from him motivated me...
Made me alive by 30% but still...I'm still numb.

I closed my eyes after reminiscing Kai's words with me...
i clenchwd my fist slightly...

I bended my body.
I want to sleep again but...

"Chaeyoung-a, it's breakfast."
          Jisoo eonnie knocked on my door and informed.

I didn't responded...
I don't even know if I shpuld take the meal or just skip it.

Besides that, Jimin's not here...
Jimin wouldn't know.

And he'snmot texting me.
I fon't have the apetite to do something now, now that he's mot here beside me.

I just want to lie and be eaten ny the bed.
I just want the ground to swallow me.

The burden I'm carrying is too heavy that I'm making others as my support and giving them problems as well.

"And I'm here..
Still depending my happiness to others.

To Lisa...
And to Jimin."

"Yet...
Lisa isn't well with me so I only have Jimin...

And Jimin will be gone for a week."

"I might die..."

I was abiut to fall asleep...
Last night was a tiring day and I haven't taken a sleep since the time I came back...

But...

"Chaeyoung-a, open the door. I have cooked you breakfast."
       I heard Jennie eonnie's serious tone of voice.

And as I am startled by her seriousness...
My body automatically, without thinking, went off from the bed and opened the door.

As I opened the door, it revealed only Jennie eonnie and Jisoo eonnie.

My eyes traveled around a little looking for Lisa hut she's not here. Of course, will she show herself after yesterday, "Stupid Chaeyoung".

"I'm sure you won't go out until later or maybe even until tomorrow, take this and eat. Feed yourself or you'll die. Remember, Jimin commanded you not to skip meals. And you disobeyed him already yesterday."
        Jennie eonnie handed me the tray if breakfast...

And I saw the worried look at Jisoo eonnie's expression.

"Just eat. I also made that so uou better eat it or I'll get mad."
        She turned hrr back after stating this, and my eyes yurned to Jisoo eonnie.

"Lisa's at the dinning if you're looking for her. Chaeyoung-a, eat. We don't want to lose the chubby cheeks you have, chipmunk."
         She stated before following Jennie eonnie to the dinning...where Lisa is.

I placed the tray on the desk, and closed my door immediately.

And after that...
I stared at the food and...

"Should I eat?"