A new start. (Jacksepticeye)

Going to America.

I didn't talk to anyone all day, not even Tom when he came over at lunch.

"You ok?" He asked setting his lunch bag down across from me. I looked up at him briefly and then right back to my sandwich, which I had only taken a single bite out of and had no interest in eating any more. "Ok. I'll just sit here with you then." And he did. I didn't say a word to him but he sat and ate, giving me a couple concern looks.

I should tell him.
          No! Why should we trust him? He hasn't done anything to earn my to trust.
          But he obviously cares. He is here now. So he's ok with just being.
           I do want a hug. But not at school! I don't want people to know.

I had gone back and forth at lunch. I didn't get a hug or say a word of what I was feeling. Then anxiety eating away at the inside of me.

Now I sit in the living room with Cooper being a Velcro pup. Practically laying on top of me. And when I go to get up he pressed his head harder into me as if to say 'no, stay here.' I lay across the couch with Coopers head on my stomach while time goes by in a blur. I hear the door open and Cooper just opens his eyes and stares at me.

"Dad that you?" I ask listening for response.

"It is I, your father." marks voice engulfs the room.

"So if you're her father, what does that make me? Her Uncle?" Dad says taking off his coat and hanging it up.

"Yo, Bro." I say jokingly pushing Copper off and standing up. "How was Brighton?"

"Beautiful. A little cold but it's fine." Dad says.

"So Dad..."I say hoping he'll take the hint at what I want to know, the call to Molly's girl home.

"Well," he pauses," your mom here?" He asks.

"Downstairs." I say with a sigh.

"Honey?" Dad calls down the stairs.

Then a head appears at the top of the stairs, silent as usual. "Yes?"

"Wanna talk about.." dads voice trails off.

"Sure." She says almost clapping her hands together. We all go over to the table and sit.

"Ok so we spoke to the head, Mother. And she said that we are welcome to start the paperwork but being outside the U.S. will make it harder." dad says watching me intensely.

"Why?" I half panic.

"I don't know. Something about-I don't know." Dad says not helping me any.

"We're still going to try. We've had to overcome hurdles before and this small obstacle isn't going to deter us." Mom says restoring my dying heart a little.

"Oh yes. They're sending the paperwork over anytime now."

I bite my lip nervously.

"How old is she?" Marks asks.

"Eight, now." I say, almost too fast.

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I pick at the edges of my nails as I walk home. A few days have passed and today Dad said he was going to turn in all the paperwork and have a phone conference with all the "business" people to see how we fair trying to get Molly.

I hear running footsteps coming towards me and quickly step to the right side of the sidewalk. The steps come to a sudden halt right behind me and then I feel two arms wrap around me.

"Thomas Alexander!" I scold him. "What part of don't do that do you not understand?"

"All of it?" He says faking looking confused. I roll my eyes and we both laugh. Although I haven't come to terms with the whole school knowing that we're together, I like how sweet Tom is and how he always knows how I feel, sometimes even before I do.

We walk home in almost silence. He breaks off a couple streets before me. He swerved my hand and gives me one of him famous smiles that melts my heart.

I speed walk the rest of the way anxious to get home and know how the call went.

I run up the path and rip open the door. As soon as I step in I see mom's smile before she slips behind the wall in the dining room.

I go over and see everyone is there; Mom, Dad, Mark, and even the dogs are laying under the table.

"Sit. We got some info." Dad says. I sit next to Mark across form Mom and Dad. "We talked with everyone today and reached the consensus that we," he paused. One of the traits he's developed from doing YouTube for so long, creating suspense," can go forward and continue with the adoption." 

"Really?" I say shocked expecting the worse.

"Yes. They said, they weren't suppose to tell us, but she doesn't really get much interest bc she's so quiet and introverted. And I did mention the home you shared and you a little which helped." Dad continues. "Well set up a trip, maybe, next week to fly over and see her."

"Hey maybe I'll stay til then and we can all fly back together," there's a slight pause," if your ok with that of course." Mark adds.

"Of course, you're always welcome." Mom says with a smile.

"Ok I'll see to he arrangements." Dad says.

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Dad booked flights for next Thursday, in the evening, to go to America. My second time going or leaving the country ever. We'll fly back in on Monday.

The days seemed to drag on waiting for that Thursday to come. I explained everything to Tom over hot chocolate and coffee and he was really excited for us. Once Thursday came I was shaking horribly, anxious to just go and see her.

What will she look like? The same? Will she remember me? What is she doesn't? Anxiety clouding and taking over my thoughts.

We boarded the plane and I sat staring out the window. I slept a majority of the trip only waking up a couple times when Dad told me to eat something and when a baby started screaming.

We land right on schedule. I feel like a zombie and the time change is really kicking my butt, since I slept the whole way and it's 9:30pm when we land. We go and get out bags heading for the Uber dad ordered for us.

We find our car pretty easily. The driver was a young looking man with short dirty blonde hair. We road back to the hotel in almost total silence. I can tell Dads tired because he doesn't say anything and he just blankly looks out the window. Upon arrival at our hotel, Dad pays the man whole Mom and I get out bags out do the trunk.

We check in and go up to our room, 421. Dad immediately changes into some PJs and gets ready for bed.

"You're not even tired are you?" Mom asks me while Dads in the bathroom.

"Nope," I say looking around at everything.

"Well your father and I are going to lay down. Dads practically already half asleep."

"Yeah," I respond. Mom turns and heads back to their bed room. I collapse down on me bed for the next few days, even though I'm not tired at all.

I stand back up, change into my pajamas, and turn off all the lights. I lay on my phone until the early hours of the morning responding to twitter mentions and Instagram DMs and blog comments until I'm finally tired enough to fall asleep.