I woke up my pillow wet from crying my voice raspy, I walked to school and ignored Justin all day I was so upset until on my way to 6th period he finally pushed me against the wall and said "y/n what's going on why are you ignoring me" I looked up at him his blue eyes meeting mine I started to tear up again and finally said back "can't you see if you can't then just leave me alone and run off to your girlfriend" then I shouved my way through the halls even more tears falling now I couldn't stop crying. Finally I got home not knowing what to do just crying I searched far and wide through my house and finally found it a brand new pack of razor blades I set the pack on my bathroom sink and started the bath once it was full I stepped in and grabbed the new razor blades and cut I cut two large gashes and blood filled my bath as tears rolled down my cheeks. I started crying so hard I didn't think it would ever stop. I was crying so loud I didn't hear the front door open then the bathroom door it was Justin I forgot I gave him a key to my house he stared at me blankly until he realized what was going on he screamed "y/n what are you doing and he grabbed my hand ripping the razor out of it. I was motionless while he lifted me out of the bath wrapping a towel around my cold body he set me on the couch and ran to the kitchen "god where are your bandaids" he then ran back with tape and gauze. he wrapped my wrists and cradled me in his arms I felt safe with him until I remembered what he did I cried motionlessly I couldn't move and I eventually fell asleep with him.
I woke up in Justin's arms. my wrists dry with blood. I decided I should get up and get dressed for school so I did when I get back to the living room Justin was up he said "oh no we're not going to school your spending a day off" "ugh but why" I whined he said "look at yourself you need it" "fine" I groaned back and plopped on the couch next to him after ten minutes of silence he said "why" I didn't know how to respond not like I could tell him it was because of him or his girlfriend more so. He said "I asked a question, why did you do it you can tell me anything" " alright fine do you really want to know" I yelled "it's because I like you but you don't pay enough attention to know that" I yelled at him and ran to my room to sit alone. A couple minutes later a knock on my door, I knew who it was but I didn't want to answer, "y/n hey I know your in there let me in please" "no" I answered "I like you too" he said my heart started to beat faster and my stomach got butterflies "I really like you I always have and I didn't know how to tell you" he said I got up and unlocked my door he came in and hugged me tight we snuggled up on the bed and he whispered in my ear "be mine?" "Yes" I said back and squeezed him even tighter he kissed my cheek and we fell asleep.
I woke up snuggled with Justin I kissed his forehead to wake him up he sits up in bed and I say with a soft still tired voice "goodmorning you need to get up for school" as I jump up and throw on clothes "ugh alright" he groans as he gets out of bed "I'll go warm up the car" he walks out the door. I brush my hair and start to put on my shoes when he walks back in he says "let me throw on clothes and we'll head out alright" I nod at him and he goes to my back room. When he comes back I'm already waiting with my bag he smiles at me and says "alright let's go" and we hop in the car and ride to school. When we arrive and walk in we just go to class because we have the same first period.
When get to our class a bunch of people are looking at me and Justin which gave me lots of butterflies in my stomach I hate it when I have attention because I feel like people will look at my features and notice how ugly I am or how bad my body is it makes me feel so horrible. But I just sit there pretending like I'm fine. I sit there listening to my teacher but not really I was so lost in thought. Knowing how much of a disappointment I am and how I'm just a waste of space. People may deny it but I know it's true. suddenly a tear runs down my cheek Justin looks at me concerned "oh no what's wrong?" I just turn away "nothing I'm fine" I say back.
