It's Okay To Be Curious (Septiplier Fanfic)

Fresh Air and Fresh Anxiety

*Mark's POV*

"Thank God I have a dog!!!" I scream to myself, covering my face from sheer embarrassment." Fuck, I'm so dumb. Why did I do that?! Like what were the odds that Jack had an awkward night while I got off to gay porn."

Chica runs into the room, hearing my outrageous rambling . She lays her head on my lap, staring deep into me with those big ol' eyes of hers. Sighing heavily, her company reassures me and I calm down.

"You know your Papa is crazy right, puppo?" I coo to her.

She wags her tail, and gets excited from the tone of my voice.

"I'll take that as a yes," I say, getting up from my chair." Well you're here anyway, why don't we take a walk? I think both us need it."

Hearing the word "walk," Chica perks up and runs in circles, excited to be taken out. I rise up from my comfortable chair, and follow as Chica zooms downstairs to await me to put on her leash.

I reach the kitchen and open a drawer that was specifically full of some of Chica's stuff. Quickly I grab her leash and a couple of poop bags, in case she went potty on the walk. You could never be prepared when your dog randomly decides to shit and not have bags on you, and next thing you know is that you're trying to hide the turd with leaves and twigs so you're not 'that guy who doesn't pick up after his dog.'

Sliding my shoes on by the door and hooking Chica's leash onto her collar, I grab my keys and exit my household. Taking a deep breath, the fresh breezy air feels my lungs and my anxiety lessens, but only a little bit.

Beginning are walk, Chica trails in front of me, desperately trying to sniff almost every landmark we past. I swear to god that it's the Twitter for Dogs, leaving markings for a post and smelling them is like reading someone else's. Or like if they pee on the area they were currently sniffing they left a like and a poo is a comment, so if they took a big poo that meant it was them rambling......okay I just delve WAY too deep into this thought, moving on.

On our walk, I see a lovely couple at the park along with their daughter. They were waving toys around her, making all sorts of adorable giggles escape her. She seem totally happy with both of her dads, completely oblivious to the cruelness of the outside world. Smiling when the couple kiss, it had also trtiggered the conversation that I just had with Sean.

Am I gay? I don't think so...ugh, maybe I'm bi or pan, but again I don't think so.....

Not that there is anything wrong if I am, but I've just always been so confident in my sexuality. I'm attracted to girls, for as long as I've known, I've always have been and always been with them. I love to kiss them, hold them, and have sex with them. Doing those things with a guy just never seemed 'advertising' to me. I could honestly try and I don't believe that I be attracted, it would honestly, just feel awkward.

But then, last night makes things a little more confusing. Never in my life have I ever felt those kinda of things before, until that sudden moment. I wasn't intentionally trying, it just sorta happened. It was more of my body being attracted than my brain. My alarms were going off, but my body kept telling me to ignore it and continue what I was doing.

Jerking off is a common thing in my life, and if I'm gonna be honest, it is with most guys. Getting material though gets harder the more you do it, and sometimes I just give up cause nothing seems to spark me. Especially lately it's been harder to get satisfied. I sorta of would just try and if worked I get it out of my system and if it didn't I would walk away and do something else. But yesterday...I enjoyed myself a bit too much and even grew winded on how good it felt.

I wasn't guilty, I wasn't ashamed, I was just purely confused that it happened. Not only did I get turned on, but I got off to it...and liked it.

I'm a bit too scared to try again, and I don't really know how to test my theory into whatever this is. Am I bisexual? Am I pansexual? Am I only sexually attracted to males and not romantically?

It hurts my head to even ask those questions, and hurts even more to test those questions out.

....nope, I'm not doing this right now. Because if I do, I can't promise that I won't pass out right this instant. And that wouldn't be fair to poor Ol' Chica Beeca, I don't want to be an embarrassing doggie dad.

Making a U-turn, I start to head back to my house. In such a rush, I couldn't really wait for Chica to re-sniff everything, and tug on her leash to hurry up with me.

Reaching the door, I fumbled with my keys and dash inside to the safety and comforts of being alone. Leaning against the door, I groan in frustration.

"Fuck me......" I said, eyes closed from a headache" .....bad choice of words."