A Love For Keeps

Yours and Mine

(DAYU)

I cannot help giggling beside Wang Qing as we walked along the wet part of the shore.

"Ah, stop laughing already," Wang Qing moaned embarassingly beside me. I grinned up at him, "But you are so funny. Forgetting who your teammate was. It's a miracle LiYan didn't break your arm, she was so annoyed at that game."

Wang Qing sighed. "It was an honest mistake." He said.

I smiled, "To run towards me instead of your teammate?"

Wang Qing turned his head to look at me, "Yes."

My smile vanished at the look on his eyes. I look down to avoid his intense stare. I don't know what to feel at the emotions I read on Wang Qing's eyes. His eyes are speaking things like: Given a chance, I will do it again. Run to you in a heartbeat.

I shook my head to vanish that thought. Now I am starting to think of ridiculous things. It was just a game and Wang Qing made a mistake.

"Ah, it's really nice to walk with someone by my side," Wang Qing uttered enthusiastically.

It's nighttime already. Our last night here in Hainan. Tomorrow, before lunchtime, the four of us will have go to the airport to ride a plane that will take us back to Beijing.

Back to our lives.

But things will never be the same again. I left Beijing four days ago as a single man, I will come back as a guy who is going steady with another guy.

I am going back a changed person.

Wang Qing had already kissed me. Hugged me. Touched me. Listened to me. Held me close. And things will never be the same again.

Wang Qing already changed me.

The four of us had our simple dinner. Wang Qing suggested that we all took a walk to digest what we ate but LiYan and AhnZong declined.

"Yu had packed his things, he will only need to clean up tomorrow before we leave. Me? All my laundry and stuffs are still scattered around the hotel room. I have to sort that out tonight." AhnZong said.

"I need serious rest after those stressful games you all forced on me. Leave me alone to recharge," LiYan gave us stinky looks as she shooed me and Wang Qing out of the beach house. Giving us an indication that she still sour for losing that second game.

I think LiYan is competitive too.

And that's the reason why it's just Wang Qing and I walking here in the beach.

It's dark, with lights coming fromthe far away establishments, one part of Hainan is alive in lights while near the beach, shadows play.

But even though it's dark, I can still see Wang Qing clearly. His tall and broad form. The steady way he walks. His confident demeanor.

I look at his arms and follow it downward to his hand. Those hands and arms that securedly held me last night while I told him a dark spot in my soul.

"I don't hate myself but I don't love me too. Being in the middle. Stuck..."

It's the worst feeling. Seeing no hope but holding on to life. It's the worst feeling. I sometimes even wonder if I am spiraling down to depression. But a part of me refuse to drown without fighting, that's why I wear sexy female underwears and make up.

That part of me is the fighter. And I am grateful to her.

She is also the brave one who reached out to take Wang Qing's hand.