Smells Like Lavender

Chapter 8

Justin

I felt terrible as I stared at my text message.

Hey

It's been saying read for four hours now.

It hadn't felt right to go into that auditorium with that girl and get a blowjob.

I had denied her request for sex, saying that I didn't have a condom but it was because I felt disgusted with myself.

Before I'd left I told her to never speak to me again and not to send any of her friends either.

I thought about what Lavender would react if she knew.

I couldn't see Lavender doing those things.

Wearing those clothes.

Saying those things.

But to imagine her being that...

I looked down at myself and got up to lock my bedroom door.

I didn't need Briana to walk in on me with a full erection.

This made me feel even worse.

For my body to openly acknowledge the fact that I want her.

I don't know why.

Sure she's hot but she's not that type of person

"Damn it." I cursed.

I need something to get my mind off of her.

I need to think about anything other than her.

I don't want people to think that I'm around her for sex.

I feel very confident that she's one of those people that 'save themselves' until marriage.

I doubt that she's had her first kiss already.

Her lips looked untouched by anything other than lip gloss.

They looked so soft.

Her skin in general just looked soft.

Now I could see myself just grabbing her and devouring her, inch-by-inch.

Crap. I'm a creep.

I may as well be her stalker.

But I want her.

I can't help.

Like she said, I'm a boy with hormones.

But I'd have to satisfy myself some other way.

I want her but I like her innocence more than anything else.

Any other girl I've been with has been through something and come back from it a changed person.

But she's different. She doesn't let her inability to hear get in the way of her being great.

It was obvious as soon as I met her.

She still has a sparkle in her eye and that adorable, bubby laugh.

She's like a child. She would be a child if you took away her raw sexiness.

Even seeing her face turned me on.

With her brilliant blue eyes and seductive smile.

It wasn't enough to cause me to get a boner right where I stood but enough to want to grab her and make out.

I want to feel her hands on me.

Even if it's only on my face.

I need to see if her skin is as soft as it looks.