Letters: A Troyler FanFiction

Chapter 14

June 9th, 2014

I really don't have anything more to tell you, Troye. I've said it all. I want to scream at you and shake you until you wake up and until there is no air in my lungs and tears in my eyes. But I'm afraid. Is the darkness really better than this? What is it like? Are you still in pain? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

I bet all these letters sound the same. Very redundant. I bet you think that I don't really mean what I'm saying because I repeat myself so much. But the truth is I do mean what I say. I wouldn't lie to you, Troye Sivan. I want you back so badly that there is a permanent ache in my chest, like my heart is encased in ice. I'm not the only one who feels this way. Alfie, Zoe, Caspar, Joe, Connor, your family. We all need you. I can't say it enough, because you just mean so much to everyone in your life. You're always the one who lifts us up when we're sad, but now that you're gone, everyone is miserable...

They're coming today, by the way. Your family. They're going to see you laying in this goddamned hospital bed looking like a corpse and feel the exact way I feel. Think of Tyde, Troye. Think of your mom and dad. Think of me. Come back, please...

Tyler

Hey, Troye. It's you're brother, Tyde. Tyler said it was easier to write than to actually talk, so here I am...

Truth is, I'm so scared right now, Troye. I never imagined that it'd be like this. I never thought that you'd get this sick. Ever. There are whispers you may never get well enough to wake up. Hell, the doctors don't even know what type of medicine to give you. Mum and Dad are in hysterics; Tyler's falling apart. I can tell he's under a lot of stress knowing that he can't do anything to help you.

How about you do us all a favour and wake up?

Tyde

__________________________

June 18, 2014

I haven't written in forever. I know. But there's so much to do, Troye. And so little I can say anymore. I'm bombarded with questions day after day about you.

"Where is Troye, Tyler?"

"Is Troye okay? Please answer us!"

Every. Single. Day.

I have to fight the urge to tell them, because I know they care. But I also know you wouldn't want everyone to know, because then they'd worry about you. But that shit isn't gonna work anymore, Troye. Everyone's worried about you. Everyone wants you back, including me. I've even decided to stay home from Vidcon. Yeah, I'm not going. Staying with you is more important to me right now. It wouldn't be worth it, going without you. But I'm sure there will be other things for me to do that week even if I stay. But I'll come to see you every single day, if I can. I always try to.

I've brought flowers, too. Roses, one for nearly every day you've been gone. There's a huge pile on your nightstand. And I even got you something for your birthday.

But you've been 19 for a while.

And the roses are starting to wilt.

Tyler