The Facts. *(BTS x FTM Transgender)*

The second day

BTS had a concerts to attend in America two weeks before the event. The concerts would be two hours long each everyday. I was told that they would see me after the concerts but i haven't. I haven't really. i haven't spoken to anyone since we arrived at the hotel. No one is answering my texts anymore. I wonder if they have forgotten about me entirely. I would understand, im a boring person and their K-pop stars after all.

I'm not very good at being alone. my mind goes into a lot of stress and my anxiety builds up. I dont want to take any of my emotion management medication becuse it makes me tired and i might miss seeing BTS when they come home. I'm sitting in the corner of my room. crying becuse i have to many built up emotions, too many thoughts. I wonder if they still love me like they used to say?  I wonder if they even remember me. I guess talking to me is stressful. I should leave them, make life easier. End it now before things get out of hand. They would do better without me anyway. No i cant think about this now. Suicide is not an option. It kind of also is, its not the right one, buts its still an option. 

I turn on my phone and dial the all to familiar number.  

"Seoul Suicide hotline speaking."

"H-hello" i stammer.

"Hello, I'm Kim Iseul." The warm male voice says. I know the ritual they go through.

"H-hi. I'm (y/n)"

"I like your name (y/n) may i ask why you are calling?"

"because the people i love have forgotton about me. I cant stop seeing my dad when i close my eyes, i cant leave my room. It just wont stop im scared."

"That sound tough, Im sorry (y/n). When was the last time you left your room?"

" F-four days ago i think, i dont know."

"Have you eaten anything in a while?"

"N-no. I dont deserve it. I'm just a source of stress."

"(Y/n) can you do two things for me?"

"Y-yes."

"Can you repeat after me?"

"yeah"

"I am worth it."

I repeated what Iseul said.

"Good, now can you stay on the line with me and walk outside your room and into the kitchen?"

"But what if Dad see's me?"

"Where are you right now (y/n)?

"New York America"

"And where is your dad?"

"In Seoul"

"Okay now, your safe. it's okay. Just walk out that door and talk to me while you get some food."

I agreed to this and walked out of my room. Weak and tired stumbling down the empty hall. I make it to the kitchen. The room is empty, they must be out again. I place my phone on speaker and put it on the counter while i open the cupboards looking for food. "Iseul-Hyung?"

 " Yes (y/n)?"

"W-what should i eat?"

"Nothing to rich, something that will be easy on your empty stomach since you haven't eaten in a while."

Iseul continued to ramble on about different breads and their different affects on your body. I am only half listening. I guess this is what they do for every one. Talk about other things bring your attention away from suicide. I mean IT WORKS.

"I'm making toast now sorry if its loud." I say as I have to use this loud-ass toaster.

"Dont worry (y/n). May I ask what happened with you father?"

"Y-yeah. Umm so I cam out as transgender when I was 12. He was good then, my mom and I were very close and I was also close to him. But when I came out he changed. He raped me most nights and he began to drink and abuse my mom. It was my fault really. One day I had saved up money for a BTS fan meet and BTS found out about my self harming, exsept it wasn't self harm, most of it wasn't atleast, it was all inflicted by Steve ,my dad. Now I live with BTS and I'm dating all of them. But the concerts in America are taking them away from me and I think they have forgotten about me becuse they dont answer my texts anymore and I haven't seen them for a long time." It all just came rushing out of me, I couldn't stop talking. It felt good, for someone to know. I talked for a bit longer with Iseul then he told me to get some rest. I got his personal phone number and contact info so I could call him when I wake up. I agreed then hung up and layed down on my bed.

-Jimins's POV-

We came home late from a fan-sign, we got a bit carried away with the songs. We came home and the kitchen was a mess, toast was left on the counter with countless crumbs and butter left on the counter. This I passed the kitchen and went to my bedroom. I heard music coming from (y/n)'s room, how late is it? I get us and walk to his door. I knock twice, no answer. I open the door and (y/n) is asleep,He's always been cute when he sleeps. His phone is ringing. It's from someone called Iseul, who's Iseul? I pick up and answer. "Hello?"

"Ah (y/n), hello. I was wondering if when you come back from America we could meet up at the café, I thought i remembered you from somewhere. Its me KIM ISEUL. I worked at the bar with you, remember?"

I nearly dropped the phone, was (y/n) cheating on us? He cant have done this. "You have the wrong number" I hung up and took (y/n)'s phone with me.

-(y/n)'s POV-

I woke up my thighs and wrists stinging, reminding me of last night. Iseul said he would call in the morning. My phone is gone, where? I took it with me into the room. where is it? As i get up dizziness washes over me, i bang into the wall closing my eyes to try and regain strength. My stomach had different plans. I ran over to the bathroom. My toast and what was left of past meals all came up. I leaned against the door, cold sweat running down my cheek. Again and again my body tried to push up something that wasn't there. Eventually the gagging stopped and i sat there panting and tired. I remembered that this is what happens when i dont take my meds for a while, when was the last time? 5-6 weeks ago? I knew the symptoms but i ignored them like an idiot. Now i suffer. I drag myself across the floor to my room. I throw open my bag, I DID pack them. A small case of orange and white pills sat at the bottom of the bag. I wrenched the pill bottle open and shoved one down my throat. My body did not agree with the pill. My stomach tried to get the pill back out but i had nothing in my stomach but a couple of drops of stomach acid left, they came up as well.