The story about us

Dancing around my room

Song: Incapable (Acoustic) - Julie Bergan

He makes me happy you know. We started talking a couple of months ago, and I told you about him. It was a simpler time then. You laughed at the screenshots I sent you, from our conversations.

"Go for it. I like him," you said. I know it was genuine. Do you regret saying that now? It's kinda sad really, I trusted your gut, you were my best friend after all. 

You two are similar. Maybe I do have a type? I am so grateful for being able to have both of you in my life at the same time. I don't know where things are going to end up, I'm still getting to know him. 

I remember the night you found out, when you left my house and puked. The next morning we talked. A lot. I was crying the whole night, and my eyes were red and swollen. Gosh, how many times haven't I cried because of you the last 5 years. I realize it sounds bad, but I don't regret it. 

I am one of those people who believe that everythings happens for a reason. A while back I had huge fight with one of my best friends, and we never talked after that. Because of that fight, I got another friend. But I have been trying to find the reason for why we aren't together, why it didn't work out, for a couple of months now, and I've got nothing. Maybe it isn't supposed to be like that? 

I can feel you losing interest in me. Just like the feeling I had when I knew you liked me, I now have a feeling that you don't. You almost never next me. You don't seem as happy. Is it my fault? 

I remember when we were cuddling, maybe two months back. You had these outbursts of laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked, trying to turn around to get a look at your face.

"I'm just happy," you answered. 

I'm sorry that I took that happiness away from you. What have you told your family? They really belivied that we were a couple. 

One of my best friends told me "You are so lucky to have two guys like you. I don't have anybody." Maybe I am lucky, but I'm not really happy. If I was, I wouldn't be writing this. I have a semi relationship, which is mostly online, and a best friend who likes me. Thats what I have. Doesn't sound so good, does it? 

I haven't spent much time with him, he is only home during the weekends. We don't really spend much time then either. Hm. Maybe I should ask one day. I feel like people will hate me for this.

It is the next morning. Yesterday was good. I talked on the phone with him. If he doesn't seem to have any plans today, I will ask if he maybe want's to take a roadtrip. Like the last time. It was in the middle of the night, it was raining, and we were making out in his car. It was honestly just like in movies. We held hands when we drove back. He does make me happy, till I remember you.