Only Time Will Tell

Noticed

I couldn't think, I couldn't talk, I couldn't even breathe. I just sat there in a gigantic pool of hopelessness as Emily wrapped her arms around me. I couldn't seem to hug her back. It was like I wasn't able to control my own body, so I just kept my hands at my sides not because I didn't want to hug her back, but because I was in too much shock to do so.

After the hug she just stood there along with me, making the room fill with sadness. The feeling was mutual between everyone, and I just couldn't take it anymore.

"I guess that's my queue," I said in a weak voice that was barely able to be heard.

"Jake wait, we have to talk more about this,"
But by the time she said the last word, I was already shutting the wooden door behind me and breathing in the afternoon air. I made my way down the guiding walkway and to the sidewalk. I stared at the cracks in the cement, but I wasn't really thinking about the scenery. I was thinking about Emily, and what our future would be like. I was thinking about how I would be able to survive the rest of my High School year without her fighting for graduation alongside me. I seemed powerless as I was swallowed whole by an unavoidable monster that they call, depression.

***

I didn't answer anyone's calls, I wouldn't even speak to my parents. I wanted time to myself, and I kept on thinking it would be like this for a long time. You know, the fact that I'll be alone, in my bedroom, with nothing else to think about but the one who got away.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door, but I didn't move. I was unresponsive, and I secretly begged for whomever it was to go away, right away. Whoever cared so much about me was probably sad that I wouldn't open the one thing that kept me hidden from the rest of the world, but at that point, I didn't care. I wasn't in the mood for company. I didn't have any moods really. What is left in my heart is now emptiness.
"Jake, it's me," A recognizable female voice said.

"Just please, leave me with my misery," I pleaded weakly, having barely enough energy to beg.

"I'm coming in," Mia said and quickly got past the one obstacle that I wasn't tired enough to set up the bedroom door.

She sat next to me on the bed, making the mattress sink a little with her weight. She looked into my eyes, I could only tell not because I was looking back, but because I could feel her stare penetrating into me, begging me to speak, silently.

"Emily told me what happened,"
That named seemed so common now that it was the only thing I've been thinking about for the past twenty-four hours. "I know you want to help, but-" My words were interrupted when I felt a warmth on my thigh.
I looked up to see Mia's hand placed on my upper leg, and surprisingly it was comforting. For once in this visit I actually noticed her. I saw her perfectly tan arms, her hair bouncing as she spoke. As I noticed her in a whole new light, she just looked at me and gave me a small smile.