Chapter 25: Candid

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Khushi

Khushi slipped her hand into her husband's, at once feeling powerful and unexpectedly weakened by the way he instantly froze.

"You understand that this is not real?"

For a few agonizing, heart-stopping moments, she thought he would refuse to stay.

What right did she have to ask this of him? To ask anything of him?

But Arnav-ji turned, his eyes first finding where his hand was trapped in hers before lifting to her face. Only then did she approach him on unsteady feet, trying to read the sudden emotion in his eyes. Her pulse quickened as she was gripped by a sudden urge to step into his arms. To hold him and allow the steady rhythm of his heart to ease her confusion.

Some far-away part of her warned that it was a bad idea — though it couldn't tell her why — so Khushi instead placed her hands over the marks she'd left earlier on his cheeks. She forced air into her lungs as her will threatened to crumble when heat flared in his eyes.

"I have to ask you something, Arnav-ji."

She was glad that her voice did not shake.

Why don't you love me?

Her vision blurred with tears. The knowledge that she couldn't hold him guided her hands down until she could clasp his hand and hold it against her heart.

"Will you answer a question?"

Why do I still love you?

Some distant part of her noted the feel of his hand against her heated skin. That same part of her whispered that it was — perhaps — not entirely appropriate to hold him so.

But this was her husband — the man she loved — and if not him, then whom?

"Why is it," she began, "that whenever you're near ... my heart beats faster?"

He swallowed.

"I tried so hard to understand it. But I couldn't understand."

Her breath hitched.

"I want to forget, but I can't forget."

He blinked, breathing deeply.

"Why does this happen?"

He seemed on the verge of speaking. He slid his hand out of her grip. Khushi's careful attempt at control shattered when he cupped her face, relief and love and desire finding expression in an almost violent sob. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist, trying to steady herself as his face seemed to blur.

"Tell me," she implored as his fingers trembled on her skin, "why does this happen? My pulse ... races faster than my breath."

She blinked slowly, struggling to bring him into focus. The world darkened briefly before brightening again.

Arnav-ji.

Her mouth couldn't form his name. The feeling left her legs. Her eyelids drooped.

#####

Tickles.

Waking felt as though she were rising from a deep lake. Sleep fell off her in waves and rivulets until she could blink her eyes open. Arnav-ji's face swam into reluctant focus. The hand that had been caressing her briefly blocked her view of him as he removed it and the emotion that had gradually crept up on her over the past year grew in intensity until she could scarcely draw breath. It was warm and golden and perfect.

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