A New Ralph

And Then...

Stepping out into your steamy bathroom, you toweled off your hair and patted yourself dry before pulling on your sweatpants and your "I chose the 'psycho' path" tank top. Doing a quick glance-over of yourself in the mirror, you slide the door open and walk back to the bedroom to check on your furry new housemate.

"Okay, little one," your babying voice returned. "Time to get you ready to meet your new..."

If you had a coffee mug, you would have dropped it. Standing before you was Ralph, holding the squirming kitten by its white scruff, light flickering between yellow and red, and muttering to himself before he noticed you. How did you not hear him come in?

"Oh, ( y/n ), you are home! Look, Ralph has caught a tiny pest invading your bedroom. It made threatening gestures as Ralph grabbed it, but its tiny claws could not do much damage. Would you like Ralph to exterminate it now?"

You quickly shook yourself out of your confusion, and lunged yourself toward the pair in a panic, freeing the kitten from Ralph's grasp.

"No, no NO! Ralph, this isn't a pest, it's a PET!"

His eyes darted between you and the animal with uncertainty, eyebrows furrowing with guilt and embarrassment. You sighed, worried that you might have just hurt his feelings, and you reached your free hand up to slowly caress the damaged side of his face.

"Sorry for yelling, Ralph," you apologized. He allowed his cheek to rest in your palm, which you knew meant forgiveness. As the three of you settled, you raised the kitten up to your chest with both hands, and held it out toward your android friend. "Look, this is a kitten. It was in the animal shelter because someone had left it alone, so I rescued it today. I know you get lonely when I'm at work sometimes, so I thought I would get you a little friend to keep you company when I'm gone. We feed it, and cuddle it, and watch it grow into an adult cat, and in return, it will love you forever. She can be part of the family now."

"Family, yes, family. A little one for Ralph and ( y/n )." He smiled, the blue light on his head flickering with his unique sense of understanding. "Now we are three, the mother, the father, and the child." He gestured to each as he said them. "This is most wonderful!"

You showed Ralph how to hold and pet the small creature, and your heart swelled as the kitten began to purr at his soft touch. "She likes you," you explained to him.

"Ralph likes her too."

"Now she needs a name." You looked to Ralph for suggestions. "She's your pet."

He pondered it for a moment, and then his light flickered a bright yellow as his smile grew. "Ralph!" he exclaimed, and you couldn't hold back a giggle.

"How will I tell the difference between the two of you?" you managed through your laughter.

"You are right. That is very insufficient..." his eyes lit up again. "Cat Ralph!"

He looked so proud of himself that you didn't have the heart to suggest anything else. You looked down at the white kitten, and her shining blue orbs seemed to approve as much as her owner's.

"Okay then, Cat Ralph it is. Now, android Ralph, let's go get that dinner you promised me earlier."

"Certainly! Can Cat Ralph eat with us as well?"

"Yes, Ralph," you chuckled, smiling at your uncanny family members as you all journeyed to the kitchen for spaghetti, with the good sauce.