A Kiss with a Fist

Chapter Nineteen

                                                                                                        A Kiss with a Fist

                                                                                         Chapter Nineteen

They had a thing. The end of the month was drawing near, enclosing all of the new Survey Corps members in a constant anxiety. They studied harder, trained more vigorously, or well—they would have liked to. But as their imminent deaths looked them in the face, breathed down their necks, the new soldiers knew that if they weren’t ready by now, they never would be. Lotte could feel death’s cold fingers wrapping around her torso, squeezing with all of its might as she trained with Jean, taking her breath away before she could even land her first blow on the scowling boy. Jean knocked her back with a blow to the chest and Lotte fell with an undignified squeak, landing in a sordid manner on her back. His scowl remained unwavering.

“You’re distracted,” he huffed, hauling her off of the dirt floor. They were both sweaty, disgusting, and aching. But Lotte insisted on training more and more and more. And Jean complied. Because, what else could he do? Tell her no, when just days before, she had confessed that no, she wasn’t okay. And yeah, he wasn’t either. How could he say no when her brother was dead. And, in just a two weeks, she’d be at the titans mercy once again, whether she was ready or not. “It’s not even a challenge if you’re not going to try, Lotte.”

She barely paid him any mind as she brushed herself off, wandering to the side for the canteen of water she had set aside for herself. The sun was at its highest in the sky and she was beginning to feel its affects, pants sticking uncomfortably to her skin. And even with her hair up, Lotte’s neck still felt as if it were on fire. He sat down beside her. “I could still kick your ass, Kirschtein,” she grumbled. “I just thought I’d give you a break from being beat by a girl who’s roughly half your size, that’s all.” They still bickered and if Lotte had her way, nothing had changed between them at all. She had shown him a momentary moment of weakness, a few more moments of momentary weakness, but he never once thought about teasing her about such callous things. Jean didn’t force her to talk about things she didn’t want to. And yeah, she guessed they did still bicker and tease each other. But more had changed than she thought.

“Oh?” Jean stretched out beside her, pushing out his legs as far as they could reach. His head lolled back between his shoulders as he opted to staring up at the cloudless sky, making Lotte almost swear she could hear the unnecessary cursing that was undoubtedly happening in that thick skull of his—just begging for a little bit of rain. Or some shade, perhaps. “I don’t recall being overpowered constituting as ‘being beaten’, babe.” Lotte nudged him, albeit a bit harder than necessary, with her boot.

“I don’t recall being a gloating asshole constituting as charming, either.”  Jean smiled at her and Lotte, in return, stuck her tongue out at him. They had spent their last few days like this: training and then, laying out in the sun, too bothered to move. Hand to hand combat was, when put into perspective, completely useless when it came to fighting titans. But it made Lotte feel better. She had already successfully mastered the 3DMG and couldn’t stand sitting around, doing nothing. It felt too much like waiting to die to her. Jean didn’t dare object.

“I don’t recall being a liar constituting as winning,” was his redundant reply. Lotte kicked him again, turning away innocently when he glared at her. And when he tackled her, Lotte let out the smallest of squeals, giggling fearfully as he threatened her with impending dangerous, wiggling fingertips. “Don’t,” she gasped when his hand met with her side. “Stop!” She laughed, rolling away from him. Jean laughed, too, laying down with an umph! when she elbowed him in the side. “Jerk,” she sniveled.

Jean let his chuckle trail off, turning his head so that he could look at her. Lotte did the same, noticing the way his golden eyes lazily blinked at her, catching the sunlight in the oddest ways. She frowned at him, pulling away so that she could no longer feel the air he inhaled through his nose and then exhaled on her face. “Don’t die, okay?” he lamented. Lotte nodded, folding her hands across her chest and doing as he had done before her, staring up wordlessly at the sky that she cursed for being so clear. His fist gently met with the side of her face. “And don’t ignore me when I’m talking to you, idiot.”

Lotte smiled, turning to face him just so she could see the look on his face when she kicked him for the third time. “Don’t you die either, okay?” She pinched his cheek as harshly as she could without actually hurting him. Just enough so he could feel the uncomfortable stretch in his cheek. Jean groaned. “No hero bullshit, okay?” He snorted, swatting her hand away.

“Do I look like the hero type?”

Lotte giggled, shaking her head. “Coward.” Lotte had decided some time ago that people had all sorts of reasons for sticking together. They had common interests and goals. And sometimes, in the case of Armin, Eren, and Mikasa, they only stuck together because they were the last people they had. Family. Lotte didn’t think either of those were their case. Their common thing was staying alive. And as long as Jean kept by her side in the inconspicuous way that he did, that would be their only reason for laying out in the sun together like this. Because god forbid they care about each other.

“Let’s go again, okay?”

!~*~*!

Sorry this chapter is the way it is omg. The last two chapters have basically been just transitioning chapters into another arc (????) of the story. Which is to come next chapter (badadadum!) sorry for the delays ;(