In Her Mind

Bloody Dreams .15.

Rose's P.O.V :

I wasn't awake ... but I wasn't asleep either . I was stuck in a dreamlike state . Feeling everything yet not being able to move or even open my eyes .

I'd have nightmares , dreams that felt so real that I could feel the blood pouring out of my body .

Sometimes I'd relive memories , some good some bad . I'd relive the moment where I got raped time and time again . But then I'd remember a bit more of what happened to me .

I still didn't know why I turned out like this , I can't get to the point of why . Something keeps bringing me back to my sister though , she plays a big part in this and I want to know why .

At times I felt so heavy , like there was anvils tied to my limbs , crushing me to the earth's core . Then there were times like I felt so light , like I was drifting through air .

My dreams seemed to want to tell me something . Somehow all of this was connected to one memory , but I just couldn't remember . That part of me wad locked away , deep into my mind , and I didn't have the key to unlock it .

My answer was there ... somewhere . I guess I was trapped in this state until I found it .

So I kept searching through my bloody dreams . The faces of the people I've killed were clear . They weren't innocent . It was their fault I became like this .

Then the remaining victim's faces were blurry , their background and stories unclear . Soon enough though , they'd meet the same fate all the others had . They would go to hell .

Sometimes it got really quiet . I wasn't in a dream . I was awake but paralyzed . I'd have time to think ... I got psychotic . I'd laugh in my mind and all the torturous ways I could kill them . My mind would drift to sick and sinister ways to showcase their deaths . I'd get excited , I wanted my revenge ... soon I would get it .

I felt Connor touching me , I heard his soft broken words . I heard the cries . I wanted to open my eyes , tell him it was okay , but I just couldn't . I couldn't wake up .

It was too much to think I had to live without him . It was too much to think he was gone again . Without Connor I was nothing , I really loved him . So I chose to die .

I know it was stupid to attempt that , I knew that the killing would be for nothing . But Connor was my oxygen , he was my life .

My mind tugged me to a memory , the memory of how I got my second scar .
The blurry face in my dream kept on screaming at me . Telling me I had to be better , had to work harder . I needed to be perfect but I couldn't .

The face slapped me , punched and abused me until I did what was asked of me . I didn't know where it fitted in , but it connected to somewhere .

I remember walking through the halls , people staring at me . Crazies . I was with crazies .

I was dressed in a hospital robe , my hair was matted and messy . I didn't smell nice either . I was taken to my padded room where my nurse let my lir down on my bed . She put a needle into my arm and quickly gave my daily medicine .

Te blurry face appeared in my dream again . Talking to me and probing at me to why I became mute, depressed and insane .

How did I end up in a asylum ? My memory was foggy yes , but this just didn't make sense . The figure stalked to me and grabbed my face harshly forcing me to look at him .

He demanded answers which I refused to give . He beat me . He tried gentle ways but it didn't work , so he resorted to beatings .

Today was different , he had a weird satchel with him . He strapped me down to my bed , and revealed a tazer . He asked me a question , he wanted me to respond but would shock me if I didn't .

He took out a jagged scalpel ... brushing the tip over the delicate skin  of  my face. He stared at me with his sick twisted eyes . He belonged in this padded cell , not me .

His slimy tongue licked up my face and I shuddered , still making no sound . He clambered on to me , straddling my waist . He was sick ... so sick . I wanted to yell for help but I couldn't , I had turned mute .

Ge slowly pushed himself against me , hands trailing up my waist to my chest . No , I couldn't go through this again . I had already been raped by one psycho , and I didn't want it to be repeated .

I had to do something , I couldn't let him violate my body anymore . My fingers dug into my restraints . A small razor I hid in my sleeves tumbled into my hand and I began cutting through the thick material .

The sick idiot shuffled lower down my  body , leaving wet sloppy kisses all over me . He pulled my robe up exposing my tummy and flesh downwards to him . He licked up my sides and I squirmed , trying to kick him away .

Just as he was about to touch my most intimate part I lunged forward , swiping the razor I used to break free across his face , cutting his cheek .

He looked furious as he wiped the blood away , lunging at me , stabbing me with the scalpel just above my collar bone . I didn't cry out of pain though , I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of my voice echoing through the room .

I pushed him off of me with the razor stuck in his cheek and he fell to the floor , it gave me enough time to release my feet from their shackles and soon I was darting through the halls to the exit .

I saw the gate and just as I was about to run out he latched onto my arm again , swinging his hand to my face . A sharp object sliced my skin , giving me my second scar .

I gasped at the searing pain , but then attacked him again , bashing his head to the ground until he was unconscious .

I bolted to freedom . If only I knew ny freedom would mean killing to get answers . A few hours of running later , I fell down next to a river , smashing my head in the process and fainting .

I still don't know who the blurred figure was , but as my memory ended I wanted to wake up , I wanted to kill him .

I had only a small moment to think about waking up when I was drug back into a horror filled dream of my memories .