Chapter 1

6.7K 60 7
                                    

Joker walked through his lair with a big grin on his face. He looked in the mirror and looked at his face and hair. He had wild green hair, red eyes, dark red lips, yellow teeth, and a milky blue tongue. He looked at what he wore, a purple jacket, orange shirt, and dark purple leggings (with fingerless gloves of the same material). He then struck a pose

 as he said: "Today's the big day!"

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

 as he said: "Today's the big day!"

"What's today, Mr.J?" asked Harley as she popped out of nowhere

"Today's my anniversary, Har, and I'm going to spend it that way I always spend it!" said Joker as he pinched Harleys' cheeks

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

"Today's my anniversary, Har, and I'm going to spend it that way I always spend it!" said Joker as he pinched Harleys' cheeks

"And how do you spend it?" asked Harley as she rubbed her cheeks

"Simple... I do anything and everything possible! It's the day of days that I have fun till my heart explodes! That reminds me, did you get those newly made Joker Explosives?" asked Joker as walked away

"Sure did Mista J! Now where do we plant them?" asked Harley

"Hm, get Punch and Judy to help you plant them near... THE FUNHOUSE! That's it, the fun house, and then we'll go to the supermarket, and then... Hey Har, wanna plan the last stop for today?"

"DO I!?" asked Harley

"Of course, I may be a criminal, but I'm still a clown!" said Joker

"Ok, ok, ok, ok, somewhere nice, somewhere were Mista J will be happy... I GOT IT! There's a new business opening up in town and I think they need some entertainment!" she said as Jokers' smile grew

"Har... THAT'S BRILLIANT! PUNCH! JUDY! GET IN HERE!" shouted Joker as two men in purple suits and face paint can into the room "I need you two to help Harley here with some explosives, set them up at the local funhouse. Harley will tell you the next place to set it up once the show goes out with a BANG! HAHAHA!" Joker laughed as he did a quick dance with Harley and skipped away to his room. When he was inside, he closed the door and walked over to his clown dresser. He opened it and took out a picture. On the picture was a family of 13. He looked at the picture and there was an 'X' on one of them... a boy with white hair. He knew this family well as he continued to look at it "Hmph... why do I still even have this?" he mumbled as he put it back in the dresser and looked at the mirror again, looking at his features "Man... time flies when you're having fun. BAH! Why so down glum, today's your big day! You get to blow things up, put a smile on your face, and you get to hang out with your girl! What is there not to love about this day?!" he spoke to his reflection

You'll also like

          

"Maybe your family?" said a voice as he turned to a stuffed bunny

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

"I am a figment of your imagination," replied the bunny

"Bah, who needs family?! I've got a family, a family of one! ME! I don't need sisters, a mother, and a father!... they made sure of it," said Joker as he turned away as he grumbled the last part

"Don't you think that you've become too crazy, even for your likings?!" asked the stuffed animal

"Now you're talking crazy, OF COURSE NOT! Now go away before I give new meaning to the story of Peter Cottontail!" said Joker as he tried to choke out the bunny. When he was done, he threw it back on the bed and walked out with a huge grin "Now time to party with Harley!"

A Few Hours Later:

Joker was in the scaffolding of the local funhouse, Jokes-A-Lot. He was watching the performances and... he was bored out of his mind "Gah, none of them have a sense of humor. Now I understand why they aren't laughing. Sigh... well let's see who's up next!" he said as the speakers came on

"Now presenting..." was all that came on before it was cut

"Gah, what's he checking for? Termites? GET ON WITH THE SHOW!" he shouted as the speakers came back on

"Now presenting, The Joker... applause," said the speaker as Jokers' eyes widened

"What! A show about me! This is going to be great! I wonder who's playing me?" said Joker as he watched as everyone left in a hurry. Soon, he saw that he was the only one in the building. The lights then turned off as 2 lights shown down on a spot. Then came out a woman in a black and yellow suit. The Joker was looking on as he came down from the ceiling with a trench coat and hat. He sat down at a table with unfinished food. She looked at the audience, who was just Joker eating some fries, and sighed "Well, at least there's someone, ahem let's see here... Hey, you know how Gotham has been at its highest in crime lately? Well, the other day I saw a banana and a banana peel robbing a store the other day, and they were getting shot at by the cops. The banana was making a run for it when the banana peel said 'Hey, I got you covered'! HAHAHA!". The Joker nearly choked on his food as he tried to laugh. It was too great, it had a punchline, it dealt with Gotham and its crime, and it had food! "HAHAHAHA! GOOD ONE! MORE! MORE! MORE!" shouted the Joker as the woman smiled

"Alright... A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a.......... packet of peanuts.' The bartender asks, 'Why the big pause?'" she said as the Joker laughed even more

"HAHAHAHAHA! T-T-THIS IS G-GREAT! HAHAHAHA!" he laughed and laughed

"Well I'm glad someone likes my jokes," she said

"HAHAHA! You gotta be kidding me, no one likes your jokes?" he said as he walked up to her

"No not really, maybe them all leaving is a sign that I should stop," she said as she sat down

"Nah, no way kid... it's just your delivery, and your name," said Joker

"R-really?" she asked

"Yup, that name 'The Joker' is sorta taboo around here... well in the city, but you get the picture," he said

"W-what's your name?" she asked

"Well... you can call me Mr. J, that's what my friend calls me," he said as he put out a hand. She went to shake it, but then she got buzzed "HAHAHA! Oldest trick in the book, I can't believe you fell you that! And you're supposed to be a comedian!"

"HA HA! Nice one, ya know I actually pulled that on someone once," said the woman as she shook her hand

"You did? Well I need to hear this one," said Joker

"Well, it was a long time ago... I don't feel comfortable talking about the person I did it to," she said

"Ah, well I can't blame ya, things happen to people here in Gotham... Hey wanna hear a joke?!" he said

"Sure, I have time, a whole 30 minutes!"

"Great, alright here it goes... A friend of mine just died. He was 84 years old, died broke. At the funeral, everyone said, 'What a shame, he died penniless.' I don't know -- to me, that sounds like perfect timing on a hell of a budget. HAHAHA!" he said as he laughed

"Phffft, HAHAHAHA I-I CAN'T HELP BUT LAUGH, HAHAHA!" she laughed

"FINALLY! SOMEONE THAT SHARES MY SENSE OF HUMOR!" he said as Harley came onto the stage

"Puddin, the bombs are ready!" she said as she looked at Joker and the woman

"Puddin? I-Is she your girlfriend?" asked the woman

"Guess you can say that, wanna see another joke?!" he asked

"Like I said, I've got time," she replied

"Alright, wait outside!" he said as he shoved her out the door and turned to Harley

"Who was that?!" shouted Harley

"Someone I just met, she has a great sense of humor... now is everything set up?" he said

"Yup, even got the money from the booths too!" she said as she pulled out a giant bag with a money sign on it

"GREAT! Now head outside, this is going to be fantastic!" he said as Harley stepped out. Joker then went to find the explosives and tied some string to it. He rolled out the string all the way to the other side of the street, where Punch, Judy, Harley, and the woman were standing "Hey, what's that for?" asked the woman

"Oh yeah, I never got your name... what is your name anyway?" he asked as he attached the string to a box with a push-down handle

"It's Luan, Luan Loud!" she said as she took the mask off Joker nearly had a heart attack as he looked at her. Joker stubbled back as he looked at her, not knowing what to say. But then grew a huge smile on his face as he put a finger on the lever "Well, Luan, this funhouse is about to go up in smoke, but I'm going to make sure it goes out... WITH A BANG!" he said as he pushed it down and the funhouse exploded "HAHAHAHA!". Luan watched in horror as the man (Who was still in disguise) blew up the building, laughing while he did it "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" she yelled

"Because it's all one big joke! That's what I love about my job, HAHAHA!" he said as he took of the trench coat and hat "And the name's Joker, sweetcheeks, and here's something to remember me by," he reached into his jacket and took out a torn piece of cloth. It was orange and had a button on it "I thought I remembered a name like that, Loud..." he said as he was kicked in the chest

"Not so fast, Joker," said Batman

"Well, well, well, nice of you to show up, Batsy, but I'm afraid that you're not messing with just me and Har. There's one criminal right behind you, ain't that right Luan Loud?" said Joker as he hopped back up

"What are you talking about?" asked Batman

"Well... let's just say she's BAD LUCK! HAHAHA! HEADS UP!" he shouted Joker as he threw a small grenade with a smile on it. He jumped into a jeep with Harley and Punch "Judy, chop, chop! HAHAHAHA!" laughed Joker as they drove away. Batman saw this and tackled Luan, covering her from the explosion. When Batman looked back, Joker was gone and the funhouse was too "Joker got away," he said as he looked at Luan "are you alright?" he said as he took out his hand

"N-no... I-I'm not," she said as she stood up

"Are you hurt?" he asked

"N-no, not physically anyway," she said as she kept the piece of cloth close

"What's with the cloth?" he asked

"I-I remember t-this cloth. Its color, its fabric... it belonged to my brother, but why did he have it?" she said as the cops showed up

"What's your name?" asked Batman

"L-Luan, Luan Loud," she said, turning to him, but to find that he wasn't there. Batman then took out his batclaw and swung to his batmobile, driving back to the batcave.

[Hope you all enjoyed. This idea came into my head and I had to get out. If you all want more, just say so.]

Truth of JokerWhere stories live. Discover now