15 year-old orphan, named Carlos, has died from malnourishment. After his death, he awoke in a world of fantasy! . . .as a mutt. . .
Meh, he'll figure it out someway.
I was strolling around town, getting the usual "Mommy can I pet him?" "Can I keep him? Please!". I ain't fixing to get owned by no one. I may be a dog, but I am a man! Well, mentality of a 15 year old, but dog years so I'm older now. Logic bitches.
So I'm strolling around, minding my own business, and out of nowhere, an adventurer, some blond bitch, comes up to me with a dog biscuit. A dog biscuit. I know I'm a dog and all, but I prefer scraps of human food. Dog food tastes like shit.
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Ah, look. A picture. Good job author, you just made this an educational lesson. . .great.
I slap the dog biscuit out of her hand, and walk away from the scene, not even looking back. If there was an explosion in the background and I was wearing shades, it would be a badass moment, especially in slow motion. If only I wasn't puppy. . .
(A/N: Show of hands on who thought of a puppy walking away from an explosion, action hero style?)
"EEEEEHH!?" It would seem that blond girl is very shocked at my behavior, couldn't believe what just happened. Believe it bitch.
Though, looking back on it now, she was trying to help. . .
"I just wanted to pet you!"
. . .Never mind. Get laid or find something else better to do. I may be a dog, but I have pride damn it!
"Sarah, it's okay." Some asshole walks up from behind, grabbing her shoulder to comfort her. I would call this sexual harassment, but seeing how 'intimate' the two were, especially the faint scent they gave off that was no match for my enhanced smell sense of a dog. "Even if that dog doesn't love you, I always will," he said with charismatic, ikeman smile that would invoke envy in the hearts of all men ugly and plain. The girl, Sarah, blushed and hugged the asshole. "Oh, Thomas!" They looked into each other's eyes-- THE FUCK IS THIS!? A romantic novel to get people off and give them a love boner? Fuck that! This story is about me! The title is literal--
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Okay, I calmed down. That was a. . .well deserved 15 minute break just now. I feel better now.
After the two went to an inn, nothing wrong there, I walked away only to be surrounded by several older mutts.
