Reincarnated as a Mutt

Chapter 3: Filler

   I was strolling around town, getting the usual "Mommy can I pet him?" "Can I keep him? Please!". I ain't fixing to get owned by no one. I may be a dog, but I am a man! Well, mentality of a 15 year old, but dog years so I'm older now. Logic bitches.

   So I'm strolling around, minding my own business, and out of nowhere, an adventurer, some blond bitch, comes up to me with a dog biscuit. A dog biscuit. I know I'm a dog and all, but I prefer scraps of human food. Dog food tastes like shit.

   Ah, look. A picture. Good job author, you just made this an educational lesson. . .great.

   I slap the dog biscuit out of her hand, and walk away from the scene, not even looking back. If there was an explosion in the background and I was wearing shades, it would be a badass moment, especially in slow motion. If only I wasn't puppy. . .

(A/N: Show of hands on who thought of a puppy walking away from an explosion, action hero style?)

   "EEEEEHH!?" It would seem that blond girl is very shocked at my behavior, couldn't believe what just happened. Believe it bitch.

   Though, looking back on it now, she was trying to help. . .

   "I just wanted to pet you!"

   . . .Never mind. Get laid or find something else better to do. I may be a dog, but I have pride damn it!

   "Sarah, it's okay." Some asshole walks up from behind, grabbing her shoulder to comfort her. I would call this sexual harassment, but seeing how 'intimate' the two were, especially the faint scent they gave off that was no match for my enhanced smell sense of a dog. "Even if that dog doesn't love you, I always will," he said with charismatic, ikeman smile that would invoke envy in the hearts of all men ugly and plain. The girl, Sarah, blushed and hugged the asshole. "Oh, Thomas!" They looked into each other's eyes-- THE FUCK IS THIS!? A romantic novel to get people off and give them a love boner? Fuck that! This story is about me! The title is literal--

   Okay, I calmed down. That was a. . .well deserved 15 minute break just now. I feel better now.

   After the two went to an inn, nothing wrong there, I walked away only to be surrounded by several older mutts.

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Name: Davy
Title: [Doggy Hoodlum]
Perks: [Old Dog Wisdom]
Gender: Male
Age: 13 Years
Race: Dog "Mutt"
Class: . . .Dangerous Stray Dog?
Lv: 12
Exp: 312/3,789
Hp: 72/72
Mp: 13/13
Str: 35
Int: 45
Phys.Res: 34
M.Res: 12
Spd: 13
Luck: 7

Skills: [Chomp! (AC)] Lv 5, [Phys.Res Up (PA)] Lv 5, [Bite Force increase (PA)] Lv 1

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___________________________________________

Name: Larry
Title: [Doggy Hoodlum]
Perks: [Old Dog Grumps]
Gender: Male
Age: 14 Years
Race: Dog "Mutt"
Class: . . .Dangerous Stray Dog?
Lv: 13
Exp: 543/3,909
Hp: 90/90
Mp: 8/8
Str: 42
Int: 28
Phys.Res: 46
M.Res: 5
Spd: 14
Luck: 3

Skills: [Chomp! (AC)] Lv 9, [Phys.Res Up (PA)] Lv 9, [Bite Force increase (PA)] Lv 4, [Rough Coat (PA)] Lv 2

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

Name: Boomer
Title: [Doggy Hoodlum]
Perks: [Old Dog Ikeman]
Gender: Male
Age: 12 Years
Race: Dog "Mutt"
Class: . . .Dangerous Stray Dog?
Lv: 12
Exp: 312/3,789
Hp: 56/56
Mp: 15/15
Str: 29
Int: 44
Phys.Res: 32
M.Res: 15
Spd: 18
Luck: 777

Skills: [Chomp! (AC)] Lv 4, [Phys.Res Up (PA)] Lv 3, [Bite Force increase (PA)] Lv 2, [Charm (PA)] Lv 10 (MAX)

___________________________________________

   I pulled up my <Status>.

____________________________________________

Name: Carlos
Title: --
Gender: Male
Age: 3 months
Race: Dog "Mutt"
Class: . . .Stray Dog?
Lv: 5
Exp: 0/100
Hp: 30/30
Mp: 22/22
Str: 14
Int: 24
Phys.Res: 15
M.Res: 11
Spd: 25
Luck: 3

Skills: [Charm (PA)] Lv 2, [Adorable Yelp (AC)] Lv 2, [Chomp! (AC)] Lv 1, [Phys.Res Up (PA)] Lv 1, [Spd Up (PA)] Lv 1, [Appraisal (AC)] Lv 1,[Language Acquisition (PA)], [Silent Step (PA)] Lv 1, [Hp Recovery (PA)] Lv 1

____________________________________________

   Well, this is a load of shit. I'm a 3 month old puppy, yet an old mutt has maxed out [Charm]? Bullshit! I don't like this at all! Even an old dog can be an ikeman!? Fuck! Any other plain looking protagonist would weep if they ever saw an old dog being an ikeman too. Also, the Luck is 777? What is he, a biblical figure or something?

   "Oi, youngin'," Davy, the wisdom dog called out. "Why did you do that? It's not every day someone gives you a handout like that."

   These dogs were dangerous, but I was faster. I can more or less get one-shotted though. I gotta choose and weigh my potential options carefully. . .

[ a) Slap their faces and mimic a Woody Woodpecker laugh before running away]

[ b) Call them bitches and snap your fingers like you mean it]

[ c) I am a prince! I don't even commoner food. Hmph! *Strut hair and walk away like an ice queen*]

[ d) Confess your undying love to all three of them]