Wasim closed his eyes only to open them again immediately. The scene of the missiles being dropped over Ghazni's most prominent commercial area replayed clearly whilst his eyes were shut. He couldn't bear to imagine what would've happened if he, along with his colleagues, had not arrived on time and got the people to evacuate.
Wasim was currently staying in a guesthouse where Ismail's entire team had put up for their stay in Ghazni. Wasim knew that for as long as the problem in Ghazni continued on, they were to stay put in the city, unless a more demanding emergency were to arise elsewhere. And only Allah knew how long the Ghazni issue was to last for.
He looked around the dark room that he shared with Hamdan, Faizaan and Umayr, his eyes adjusting to the blackness. He distinctly heard Hamdan murmuring dhikr, Faizaan whispering over the phone probably talking to his wife and Umayr tossing and turning on his bed.
Clearly, he wasn't the only one unable to sleep. Liking Hamdan's idea of engaging in dhikr, Wasim decided to also occupy his tongue with the remembrance of his Creator. Perhaps that would help him fall asleep.
Before he knew it, his eyes closed on their own accord, and he drifted off into a sleep, nevertheless, those same scenes that took place earlier during the day appeared yet again but this time in his dreams.
---
"What's the plan today, sir? How has the situation been?" Wasim asked Ismail.
"Well, my boy, the fundamentalist political movement has still occupied Ghazni, they're not moving away. But the informers we have told us they don't have any information on where the attack is going to happen yet. So we just have to wait. Once they tell us where the attack is planned to occur, we go do what we do," Ismail updated Wasim.
Wasim nodded, silently hoping and praying with all his heart that there would be no attack to begin with. At least, not for today. At least, let those heartless groups spare the helpless inhabitants of the city just for one day!
"So, we're just going to be here today?" Wasim asked.
"Yes, Wasim. We need to go over plans, tactics and a lot of other strategies. Our informers have given us a little insight on the way these attacks are going to be carried out, so we just need to ensure that we know how to get the innocent lives away," Ismail answered.
Wasim nodded, lost deep in his own thoughts.
It was not going to be easy. He had been on several missions to save innocent lives. Not even a single time had he found a mission easy. Not even a single time did he feel that he'd make it out alive. But seeing as he was currently breathing and his heart was beating, he was very much alive as per the will of the Almighty Allah.
This was even more difficult because now he was actually staying in Ghazni. They couldn't leave the place without getting as many inhabitants as they could out of there as refugees. So they had to wait and see what happened.
Wasim rubbed his hands over his face in frustration, as he thought about his life. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned around to see Hamdan.
"Bro, you looked tense?" Hamdan said, taking a seat next to him.
Wasim shook his head and stared at his hands.
"Wasim, we've worked together for two years. You aren't fooling me," Hamdan pressed.
"Man, it's not like I'm unhappy with what I'm doing with my life. I know I'm doing everything voluntarily for Allah's sake as is everyone who is a part of the entire larger organisation we are in," Wasim began, but then paused.
"Yeah?" Hamdan said, encouraging him to go on.
"It's just, Hamdan, can you imagine if all these nasty groups of people did not exist? None of this would even be required, honestly. All these innocent people wouldn't need to leave their own countries as refugees," Wasim continued through gritted teeth.
"Yes Wasim. I know, this thought occupies my mind everyday," Hamdan said. "But this is something we all know, bro. This is something we have accepted along with accepting our life when we decided to do what we do. Why then does it disturb you so?" Hamdan questioned.
Wasim looked at Hamdan with a broken expression.
"Because Hamdan, think about all those lives that we didn't manage to save, we tried, but we failed. So many have died and we didn't manage to save them. No matter how hard we try, Hamdan, we just can't save everyone! It kills me Hamdan, to think that even now, there is always that chance that we won't be able to save everyone!" Wasim said.
"I know where you're coming from, Wasim. I get you. But you of all people should know that life and death is in the hands of Allah. Which is why you are alive and breathing right now, irrespective of the number of times death has looked at you right in the eyes.
Wasim, remember, had we have been even a minute late yesterday, the missiles would have killed you, me, and all our colleagues and we'd be dead along with all those people that Alhamdulillah by the will of Allah we managed to save.
So Wasim, if Allah has destined that certain people will die, then they will die. And if you ponder over their death, don't you think it's better for them to escape all this torture and return to their Creator Who considers them shaheed (martyrs)? Don't you think it's better for them to return to their Creator Who will reward them immensely instead of being displaced from their own countries and living as refugees in a different land, not knowing what to do with their lives?
Of course, as Muslims, it is our duty without a doubt to help them, as much as we can. To save their lives, to whatever extent we can. For Allah has chosen some of them to continue living. And He chooses life for those whom He knows have a purpose to fulfil while they're alive.
And therefore, we have to save whoever we can. And you need to understand Wasim, that whoever we do manage to save, Allah has destined for them to live, to continue to serve a certain purpose in this world. And for those that we fail to save, it's by the decree of Allah that they return to Him, where He will provide them with eternal bliss for all they've been through," Hamdan explained.
Wasim looked at Hamdan in admiration. From their group, Hamdan was one of the most chilled and laid-back guys, but there was no doubt that he was one of the wisest of them all, not to mention that he was emotionally one of the strongest guys also.
"You're right, man. Thank you so much for saying all this to me. You just strengthened my resolve," Wasim said.
"That's why we're a team. To act as each other's strengths," Hamdan said.
The two of them sat in silence, pondering over the discussion they just had, when Hamdan decided to get something off of his chest.
"Wasim, bro. There's something eating at me like crazy right now," Hamdan mumbled.
"Then let it out, right?" Wasim urged.
"I don't even know how to say this," Hamdan muttered.
"Just come out with it already, stop being a girl!" Wasim teased.
"My mother has been on my case to get married man, and the thing is I don't want to get married. I tried explaining to her that the work I do does not allow me to accommodate for someone in my life whom I'm supposed to look after as my wife, but my mum keeps insisting. Dude, you're lucky that at least your mother drops the topic when you tell her to!" Hamdan said, massaging his temples.
"Oh man. Trust me, I know that conversation! Dude it's not like she drops it completely. I know the next time I go home In sha Allah, if I go home, mum will bring it up again!" Wasim said.
"But then, how can we get into this? It's a commitment you know, and knowing the kind of life we lead, how can we assure that we'll be able to look after a wife? We spend most of our time on missions. We only spend like a couple days at home, we have to leave on short notice, there's too much of chaos in our life! I try to explain this to my mum but she won't have it!" Hamdan said.
"Yeah, my mum always says that it's my life at the end of the day, but she'll always bring the topic up. Deep down I know I'm not willing to get into this. It's too toxic, if you know what I mean. By toxic, I mean it would weaken me," Wasim said.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. We can't afford to become weak. But what I don't understand is how Umayr and Faizaan manage it. How do they not fall into weakness?" Hamdan asked.
"This is something that only they understand. But yes, they're not weakened, however, they're always worried man! That's also something I don't want to deal with - the constant worry of a wife and children back home. The worry becomes a burden!" Wasim said.
"I know. Well, I just hope my mother leaves this topic man. The problem is, she's not dropping it!" Hamdan grumbled.
"Don't worry, I know your mother, she's a good Muslim. She won't force you into anything against your will," Wasim assured.
"Yeah, but I feel bad for not listening to her," Hamdan muttered.
"I know that feeling," Wasim replied, quietly.
~.~
Here's another update for you all. I hope you liked this chapter.
Please do vote and comment :))
Honestly, my heart goes out for Muslims suffering all over the world. It takes a lot of guts to do what Wasim people are doing, but then again, there aren't many like that.
