The new boy

Part 5: Amy

Yeah this is also potentially triggering btwwwww

Amy's pov:

December 5th 2017
"Hurry up amy you're gonna miss it." We ran along the pathway, wind sweeping past our faces, him just ahead of me, barely visible in the night. His voice was like a distant drone and was soon drowned out the gentle wind and scuffing of my trainers on the dusty gravel.
"Slow down AJ." I laughed, tripping slightly as my foot came into contact with a larger rock. I lost my balance and stumbled onto the hard floor, gritting my teeth as I felt smaller stones piercing into my skin. The fast footsteps slowed in front of me and I looked blindly into the darkness, trying desperately to see him.
"I got you.  You alright?"
I felt his voice gently behind my ear as his hands gripped around my arm and lifted me back to my feet. Despite the wind and humming of cars passing on the motorway behind us, the only thing I heard was him. The only thing I saw was him. He gently took my hand in his and brushed it, to get rid of all the stones, his messy brown hair flopping over his eyes. He looked up at me and our eyes met, his ocean eyes (😃) searching mine, looking into me. His hot breath mingled with mine and I felt him leaning his head closer to mine. As he came closer I could smell the gentle scent of cologne mixed with coffee: I was intoxicated. .
"We might want to hurry up we're gonna miss it." I said gently, his face inches from mine. I felt my heart thudding as smiled and reached down, intertwining our hands and leading me gently towards where we were going. He began to speed up until his feet were lightly jogging, never once letting go of my hand, and I followed mesmerised, my own feet trying desperately to reach his pace. As we raced through a small gathering of trees, the luminous glow of moon light stretched through the branches and casted shadows on the path, lighting our way through.
"Look, over there." He said, pointing towards an opening between a mass of trees. We stumbled and giggled our way towards it, feeling the ground almost slip away beneath our feet as we lost ourself in the rhythm of it. As we came out, I gasped and he smiled looking down at me, leading me towards the edge of the cliff. Hundreds of miles of houses lay in front of us, the lights in the windows looking like stars  from where we stood. He lay down on the grass where we were standing and I followed, gazing at his face and how it brightened up when he spoke.
"Look if you stare into the sky, any minute there's gonna be a comet passing by."
We lay in silence, staring at the inky blackness in front of us which was barely lit up by the thousands of yellow stars cascading across the sky. When the comet came, he reached down and linked his fingers with mine again, and I closed my eyes not wanting to focus of the beautiful lights in front of us but of the feeling of his hand in mine. I wanted to remember this forever. I opened my eyes and leaned over to his neck, resting my head next to his so close that I could see the way the cold air mingled with his breath to create a gentle cloud. He turned his head to face me so that our noses were touching and brought his hand up to the side of my face, stroking across my jaw. His touch sent shivers down my spine and I closed my eyes. I sensed his face getting closer and I began to lean in as well, my hand coming up to grip at his arm. I felt dizzy. He made me feel dizzy.

21 august 2018
I had nothing in front of me now but tiles of a bathroom floor and an emptiness inside of me that felt harrowing. I no longer cared about anything. A void in my heart remained which had once been filled with love. So much love. Now I felt nothing. I couldn't even say I was distraught or heartbroken or even betrayed I was just empty. My shaky hands pulled my knees up to my chest and I cradled myself, the sharp edge of the cabinet driving into my hip but at that moment I couldn't feel pain. I couldn't feel anything.
Tick tock
The clock from outside seemed to get louder and more repetitive.
Tick tock
I groaned and hugged my knees in tighter, bringing my hands to firmly cover my ears, rocking back and forth to try and distract myself from the raw sound of time. Time moving forward when all I wanted to do was just stop. Stop time. Stop everything.
Tick tock
"Shut up." I whispered through gritted teeth, only hearing it getting louder the more I tried to ignore it.
Tick tock
"Shutupshutupshutup." I shouted, my voice cracking into a slight sob bringing my hand to the floor and hitting it. Hard. I leaned my head back against the cabinet and let out a gentle cry.

Tick tock
I moved my shaking hands to the taps and yanked them on all the way. The water spurred out and cool drops splashed me in the face. All I saw was him in front of me. I smelled his cologne. I felt his hand on my jaw. His lips on mine.

Tick tock
I stumbled to the cabinet and stared into the mirror next to it. My eye bags sunk deep into my face and my skin was red and blotched from crying. My hair stuck to my face and matted to my forehead. My cheeks were red and were covered in a thin layer of sweat. Who could ever love me? It's not Megan's fault and it's not AJs. I was disgusting. I reached up and into my dads washbag, bringing out a razor.

Tick tock
I felt the water rush in past my ankles, numbing me. I liked the way it sent chills up my spine. I slipped my whole body into the tub, feeling my clothes stick to my body and become heavy. I closed my eyes and saw him. Running in front of me, laughing and telling me to catch up. I was running behind and I fell.
"Shit." I grunted, feeling to cool sting of metal running down my wrist.
He comes and helps me up. His voice is behind my ear, whispering. I don't remember what he says but his hand comes to grip at my wrist.
I whined again, higher this time feeling the same cold burning running vertically up my other arm. My shaky hands dropped the razor into the water and I sunk. Deeper and deeper.  I heard his voice and felt him above me. Water rushed in over my head and instead I felt the wind, the way it brushed past my ear that night. Then I felt his hand, warm and gentle in mine and I remembered it. I told myself not to forget it and I didn't. 
I opened my heavy eyelids and just saw pink surrounding me. A deep pink. My eyelids faulted and they closed once again.
The colour faded to black.