Crave

Chapter Twenty Eight

Seokjin

    Namjoon is being weird. Ever since the other day, he's been quiet around me. Sure, he still babies me and seems normal enough when I slip into little space but when I'm just me? He's avoiding me or something.
     Sometimes I'll find him staring at me contemplatively. It's uncomfortable. Did I do something to make him act like this? I can't remember anything, though.
      Steeling myself, I take hold of the files for his next group meeting and knock on his office door. I hear a vague semblance of 'come in' and push it open. Pausing when I see Joshua again.
     I hadn't even seen him come in...taking a deep breath, I force a smile and walk determinedly to his desk, placing the file down. "Do you need anything else?" I ask calmly.
     His eyes study my face hard making me a little uncomfortable. He shakes his head. "No. That's it. You can go home early if you want." He offers.
     Biting back my hurt, I nod and bow. My boss. He's just my boss. My boss...that shares my bed and takes care of me and showers me with love...when no one else is around.
     "Alright. I think I will." I nod at Joshua who smiles at me as I walk out and gather my things. My hands are shaking when I leave the building and call an Uber.
     I had every intention of sulking at home but change my mind last minute and ask the driver to take me to a club instead. I kinda miss my old job of serving tables. Some parts at least.
    I step inside the club I used to work at and see some of my old coworkers and friends. They wave as I sit at the bar.
     "Jinnie! Long time no see. How you holding up?"
     I smile. "I've been great. Found an great paying office job. Much better than here." I admit.
     He nods, pouting jealously. "I miss you. Now that you're gone, the boss has taken an eye to me." He rolls his eyes. "How the hell did you ever put up with it?"
     I bite my lip, staring down at my drink. "Didn't really have a choice." I remind him.
    "Well, I'm glad you're doing better now. So...why are you here anyway? You hated the club. Thought I'd never see you again." He teases.
     I shrug, sipping my light alcoholic beverage. "Just needed my mind off life, ya know?"
     "I get it. Love problems?"
     Huffing, I look away. "What makes you say that?"
     "I've been doing this a long time and I know that look. A look of a person heartbroken and in pain. Some asshole cheat on you or something?"
     I hesitate. No, it can't really be considered cheating. It shouldn't even bother me. He has every right to do whatever he wants. "It's nothing. Not his fault, anyway. Mine." I sigh.
     He frowns. "Well, I hope it gets better for you soon."
     I smile bitterly. "Doubtful but thanks anyway."

Namjoon

    "Joshua, I've told you before that this is a professional relationship only. Let's just focus on business." I sigh, storing the documents for the other members.
     He smiles in such a way that it isn't very attractive and more like whiny. "Come on, Namjoon-ah. Didn't you enjoy being with me the other night?" His hand slips onto my thigh. I shake it off.
     He climbs to his feet and crosses his arms, looking pensive. "It's that little slut receptionist of yours, isn't it? You like him, right? What does he have that I don't?" He demands.
     Rolling my eyes, I push past him. "I'm sorry but this really isn't any of your business and don't fucking call him that! Let's end this discussion unless it involves our contracts."
     He follows me out. "Then why not? You're single and I'm single. Can't we just..."
     I turn around to face him. "Joshua, it's not good business practice to date your employees—especially contract based ones. It's not going to happen. Please move on."
     He blinks at me in surprise. "But-"
     My phone rings so I snatch it and answer, done with the drama. "Hello?"
    "J-Joonie! I'm...I'm...I need..." a loud hiccup.
     "Jin? What's wrong? Where are you? Why aren't you home?"
      A laugh. "I'm a g-grown up! I don't need you to tell me what to d-do!" A broken sob.
     Groaning, I grab my things and head out the door. "Where are you?"
     "Uhhh...a b-bar?"
     "Which bar?"
     "The one we m-met?"
     I hang up and drive over to the bar I first met the beautiful man. I walk right up to the bar and spot a hunched over drunken Jin in the corner. A few empty glasses in front of him.
      I put enough cash to cover the cost on the bar plus tip and throw his arm over my shoulder, helping him stumble out to my car. He cries against my neck, mumbling incoherently as I buckle him in.
     Irritated and concerned, I drive us home and have to carry him to our bedroom. Everyone else is in their rooms or sleeping already so I don't have to explain shit to anyone.
     I toss him on the bed and grab a damp cloth to clean his face off. His eyes open, watching me. I stop my efforts and glare at him. "What were you thinking?" I demand.
    He winces. "W-what?"
     I pull him into a sitting position and meet his eyes. "You could have gotten hurt or taken advantage of! Why would you go drinking alone? I know you hate drinking! Why the hell would you risk yourself like this!" I snap.
      He flinches and tries to get out of my hold. "Stop it! Why do you even care! You'd probably be happy if someone took me away, right! I'm just a b-burden to you, right! I hate you!" He screams, tears filling his eyes.
     I freeze, the air tense around us. I grab his face between my hands, forcing him to look at me. Really look. "Why do you think I wouldn't care, huh? What gives you the right to tell me what I do or don't feel about you, huh? You aren't a burden to me! Jin...I..." I can't make myself say anything else so I do the only thing I can.
     I kiss him.
     He jerks in surprise but doesn't pull away. I kiss him harder, pressing his body down on the bed with my own, tangling my fist in his hair reveling in the moans he releases against my mouth.
     I pull back just an inch. "I want you, Jin. Only you. Let's stop fucking pretending and ignoring the issues for once. Let's make this real."
      He stutters in a break. Tears spilling from his eyes. "You mean..."
     I kiss him again, much more gently. "Let me be your boyfriend. Your real boyfriend. I want to take care of you not just as a caregiver but as a lover, a partner." I explain.
      He swallows hard. "Y-you really want to?" He asks in a small voice.
     "I really do. You're mine which gives me every right to be angry when you do stupid things that could hurt you."
     "You hurt me." He whispers, hurt in his eyes.
      I caress his face, wiping his tears with my thumb. "I'm sorry, Jinnie. You should have just been honest with me. Never put yourself at risk again, okay? I was really worried."
     He bites his lip. "Okay. I'm sowwy."
     I smile at the turn in his voice. "Who am I, Jin?" I ask.
     He blushes. "Mine?"
     "Mhm." I hover over him, kissing his lips. "And who am I, Jinnie?"
     He giggles sweetly. "My daddy. Mine."
     I deepen the kiss, our tongues moving in sync as my hands trace his body. "And who are you?"
    He shutters. "Yours. I yours, daddy."