Silence

Chapter 46

*PLAY SONG* WHEN INSTRUCTED

          I wake up and I feel better after talking with my mom until I fell asleep. Summer break was around the corner and I needed to focus on finals. So I decided to focus on studying and prepping for finals so no more worrying about things like guys or hanging out. Although I did miss when my life was all put together and wasn't messy or hectic as fuck. But I just wanted to pass my first year of high school and move on with my life and take it from there.

"Josie hey so how you've been?" Davina asks me during Drama and looks at Dylan then at me.

"What happened to you two I thought you guys were close" she asks me but I explain to her about everything that went down.

"Wow and he kissed you and you kissed him back twice" she says and I nod.

"Well enough about me what's going on with you?" I ask her and she instantly smiles.

"I've been talking to this guy he's a sophomore and we've been talking and I really like him" she says I feel happy for her she's been doing so much better than me at this love shit.

"What's his name? what does he look like? and does he have a brother?" I ask through laughter.

"What do you mean what about Ryan aren't you guys dating?" She asks and I tell her about what he did and she then tells me that I should've punched him in the face and tell him that I wasn't ready.

"Are you guys like done?" She asks and I shrug cause I do care about him but he did lose my trust.

"Well this is Xavin" she said showing me his Instagram which consisted of pictures of him and the junior varsity football team and with what looked like his older brother at the beach and at Disney World with his baby brother. He was multiracial and had the most cutest hazel eyes and he looked like the nicest personality.

"He's cute I can see you two dating" I say and she smiles and blushes and I look at Dylan who has headphones in and is ignoring everything. Dale wasn't here and the sub didn't care about what we do so it was basically a free period.

"You should talk to him" Davina says noticing me staring at Dylan but I shake my head. If I even tried to go near him he'd ignore me or walk away I wished he knew how much I missed him.

The bell rang and I decided I would try to talk to him cause like why not and when I called his name and he had his headphones off he ignored me and continued to walk away.

"Dylan please don't walk away" I pleaded and he continued to go anyway.

*PLAY SONG*

So as the weeks went on and we completed our final exams everything was changing. Ryan and I were basically ghosts to each other and avoided each other. Stasia and Isaac have tried to help with my situation with Dylan but it didn't work and I began to see them less. My old friends have even been getting distant. Lucy became friends with this new girl and they hangout and have gotten close. Davina and Xavin started dating and spend a lot of time with each other. Even my old school friends don't bother to text me or invite to stuff anymore. It was like my life was slowly falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it.

When I got home from school one day I decided to text my old guy best friend Theo even though I know he had his own shit to deal with. I told him about everything that happened and he told me about what's been going on in his life and we started texting back and forth. It felt good to connect with someone again and I honestly missed having company and someone to talk to.

"Hang in there Josie you still got time" he said in a video and I sent back the thumbs up emoji. I decided to watch a sad movie about life and it made me think and so I decided to go outside and think. I laid on the ground and looked towards the sky at the clouds and tried to clear my mind but that ended shortly as my phone went off.

Davina was calling me and when I picked up she sounded worried and was freaking out.
"Josie come quick there's an argument you need to get here quick we're at Centervile Park" she said and I heard someone yelling and she hung up. I was debating whether or not to go to her and see what was going on.

It was more drama that I didn't need to be wrapped up in so at first I decided not to go but then I was worried for Davina. So I decided to walk there even though I knew it was a dumb impulsive decision I wasn't going to let my friends get hurt. It was a 20 minute walk there and when I got there a bunch of kids from my school were going crazy.

Of course Nina was there watching it all go down as I looked in the middle it was two guys arguing and pushing each other.

"Davina what the fuck is going on?" I say when I find her and she points to where Ryan and some other kid are arguing.

"I can't be here" I say and she grabs me by the arm roughly.

"The guy was talking shit about you and Ryan defended you" she told me and it made me feel so what bad for him.

"I don't need Ryan to defend me and why is everyone even here?" I ask as I look around and find kids of different grades and ages here.

"Well this is where everyone fights" she tells me and I shake my head I couldn't believe that I wasted 20 minutes walking here.

As Ryan in the kid started arguing still and the kid pushed Ryan and Ryan pushed him back I ran in the middle of the fight to try to stop it. Some tall guy came at me and threw me back and I screamed loudly. I hit the ground and everything was hurting I could hear people screaming and cursing and I slowly got up.

"Josie oh my fucking god" Yasmin said as she ran to me to help me stand.

"What the fuck was that for" Ryan exclaim as he looked at the tall guy who threw me.

"She was getting in the way" the dude said and ran off.

They both helped me and decided to take my home Valentina gave me a ride of course she was there. As we drove back we heard police sirens going towards where the fight was and my heart dropped when we saw a Paramedic truck go by as well.

"Shit Ryan we gotta go back" he told his sister and she was going to turn around when he got a text from someone there.

"Apparently someone called the cops and someone got hurt" he said and we all just continued to stay in silent the rest of the ride.

"Thanks for the ride guys" I said as I slowly walked up my front porch. I wanted and needed to know if Ryan was okay or not so I waited outside. I'm furious at him though at the same time but I still needed to be sure.

I was sit out there at 10:30 when he appeared and walked up to my house and I was relieved. As I walked up to him I noticed he looked sad and angry but it's not like he had any right to be.

"What happened back there?" I ask and this time I wasn't going to let him leave without an answer.

"The other guy was talking shit about you so I was defending you and I beat his ass up and some other dude got jumped and ended up getting a concussion" he said and as he lifted his arm to push his hair back I noticed blood on his jacket.

"You're bleeding oh my god" I said and grab his arm then he shook his head.

"This isn't my blood" he said and I gasp.

"Wow you know I really wanted to give you another chance and believe that you're different and better than this but you proved me wrong"

"Josie I-"

"The worst thing is that some people say that your terrible or that your bad news and nothing but a reckless dick why did you have to go and prove them right"

"Please baby" he pleaded.

"I gave you one more chance and I know that you were trying to defend me but I can protect myself and I know you wouldn't have let this happen on purpose but I... I can't do this anymore I can't be with you Ryan not anymore" I say as I let go of his arm and take a step back. Tears form in his eyes and I can feel them forming in mine as I turn around and opened my door and shut it on him. I can hear him crying and it destroys me inside and I just can't do it anymore. I fall to my knees in tears crying my heart out and trying not to let my heart break out of my body but it was too late.

I was heartbroken.