Where Love Found Us

Grant's Struggles

*Skip to the day after Erika and Grant get home*

Tuesday June 21st, 2018

Erika's POV:
I woke up with Grant sleeping on my chest he started breathing a little heavy and a tear slipped down his cheek. I figured he was just having a bad dream so I rubbed his back and he ended up waking up.

Grant: Hi mommy.
Erika: Hi grant.
Grant: You always sad wif no daddy.
Erika: it's okay buddy, Momma will be fine.

We got up and ate breakfast, then I went to work out while Logan and Anthony played with Grant. When I came out after my shower Grant was cuddled on Tony's chest watching Cars 3. I went into Jake's room to wash the sheets for Grant and I ended up just sitting down on the bed crying. About an hour later I feel arms wrap around me and whisper, 'It's okay, everything happens for a reason.' I just continue crying I'm Chance's arms for a while. I stop sniffling and he lifts my head up and cups my cheeks and clears my tears with his thumbs.

Chance: Jake wouldn't want such a beautiful girl crying over him.
Erika: B-but I miss him.
Chance: He's giving you space, you said you wanted a break from your relationship so he gave you a break from him.
Erika: I didn't want him to move though.
Chance: Maybe he needs a mental break from himself. He text me and said, "I can't even live with myself. Just know I love Erika and Grant and all you guys. Erika asked for space so I'm giving her all the United States. Love you man, Peace💗✌🏽"  that was his exact words.
Erika: *starts crying harder* It's gonna be so hard without his smile and laugh.
Chance: You need to keep yourself and Grant busy so you don't think about him all the time.
Erika: You and Anthony wanna go to putt putt and the  mall today?
Chance: Get ready, lunch is on me.
Erika: I need to redo my makeup.
Chance: I'll go get Grant ready and tell Anthony.

I went into my bathroom and got ready then sat down at my vanity to do my makeup. After that, I met the boys down at the door.

Anthony: Grant you ready to go golf and go to the mall?
Grant: not without daddy.
Erika: Daddy isn't here, buddy.
Grant: I NOT GO WIFOUT MY DAD!
Chance: You're going with uncle tony and uncle Chance and mommy.
Grant: *starts crying* I WANT MY DADDDDD.
Erika: *To C&A* I cant do this every time, he's going to do this every time we do something fun. This was his and Jake's thing to do on free days.
Anthony: Come on buddy, let's go. Wipe your tears, Daddy says big boys don't cry.
Grant: *giggles* Daddy talk to Uncle Logan and cwy da other day.
Erika: It's okay bubba, big boys cry sometimes.
*Anthony picked Grant up and started walking to the car*

We all went to go golf and Grant just cried about how he misses his day the entire way there. I took a video and sent it to Jake, 'He misses you so much. I don't know what he's gonna do until you come back.😔💔😭' Grant just went on and on until we got to Walters Golf. Here's how our car ride went.

Grant: I not go wifout dad! I miss my daddddyyyy.
Chance: Buddy, you're gonna have to calm down. You're gonna start having issues with breathing.
Grant: I LOVE MY DADDY YOU CANT TELL ME TO STOP.
*I turn around, a little upset with Grant*
Erika: That is NO way to treat an adult, let alone your uncle. You need to apologize. I don't care if you miss your dad or not.
Grant: I sowy Uncle Chance.
Chance: I forgive you bud.

We arrived and got out of the car, Anthony carried Grant in and I took a picture and posted it one  Instagram and Twitter captioned, 'Finding temporary replacement for irreplaceable people😔'
We went in and played quite a few rounds. Tony ended up winning. We got into the car and drove to the mall. At the mall we ate In 'n Out and Chance payed for our meal. I'm so thankful for guys in my life to be my right hand man, even though 'my man' isn't here. Suddenly Grant brought up a conversation that I didn't want to come up.

Grant: Mommy why you lie?
Erika: What, baby?
Grant: *starts crying softly* Daddy is gone. You not tell me he leave. I don't like dat.
Erika: He did leave, but he'll be back soon.
Grant: Otayyyy.
Anthony: Let's go home guys, it's already 5:30.
Chance: Really?
Anthony: we played Putt Putt until two and shopped until three, then supper.
Erika: Wow. Thanks guys, I've actually had a really good day.
Anthony: We were put in position to be your guys for a while. We're here always, even when you don't want us to be.

*Still Erika's POV*
I didn't know it would be this hard without Jake. We went home and I watched Finding Nemo with Grant and the squad, when the movie was over I gave Grant a bath and did his nighttime routine, of course he gave me grief over reading.

Erika: Let's read 'Oh The Places You'll Go'
Grant: No.
Erika: This is what we're reading since you think you can treat me like that.
Grant: *starts sobbing uncontrollably* that's daddy's book to read to me. NO ONE ELSE! Only my daddy read that to me.
Erika: Well let's read 'A Mother's Love' (A/N that's a real book
Grant: That's mommy's book to read to me.
Erika: Okay.

We read the book and I laid him down then kissed his forehead again.
Grant: Mommy can you do that again?
Erika: Sure baby *kisses his head* why though?
Grant: That one was for daddy.
Erika: My sweet baby.💗