Different Point Of Views (A Jonatello Fanfiction)

I'll get better, eventually...

Donnie's POV

I started to panic. "Why...?" I spoke softly, still trying to process what he'd done to himself. He only looked away in response to my question. "Why? WHY?" I started to shout, which then turned into practical screaming. I asked over and over. He didn't look at me once, slightly flinching when my voice became forceful. Before I was aware of how hysterical I was becoming, I felt Mikey and Leo pull me away from the bathroom while Raph and April rushed in instead. They took care of his self inflicted wounds, I didn't. Speaking to him with ration, managing to deescalate the situation. I wasn't there for him. That's all I could think for hours. I could hardly see anyone or anything, since my eyes were overwhelmed with tears...

Casey's POV

I don't deserve him. I don't deserve anything. That's why I did what I did. If only I could've told him that. If only I could've... "Thank you. I know that this was very alarming to say the least." I laughed slightly, hoping to ease some of the tension in the room. April and Raph had moved me from the upstairs bathroom to the living room, leaving Leo and Mikey handle Donnie. "Alarming is an understatement, Jones." April responded while packing away the first aid kit. I turn the to right of the room, noticing Leo walk in. Mikey must be with him, that's good... "How are you feeling?" A shrug was all I could manage, but Leo nodded understandingly. Raph turned on the small television that sat in the middle of the couch and chairs, in an attempt to calm everyone's nerves. But I knew there was nothing in this house that could relief me of the pain that I felt at that moment. The sharp pain from the cuts I inflicted myself with couldn't even compare the pain I felt in my heart. How was it that I could look every single person in this room in their eyes, but not him? Not the person I loved the most? Maybe it's because loved him the most, that it was difficult? Maybe I'm making up excuses to justify my shitty behavior. Maybe I deserve the pain I feel right now. He should've never found me. Donnie would tell me to never think such things. Why are doing this to him? It wasn't my fault. I didn't chose to have an existential crisis. He would be better off with her. But he chose me on his own... I didn't steal him away from anyone... He saw the disaster I was and he still chose me... He could've had everything with her and you took that away from him. You made him this way. You caused all this for him. I would never hurt him..! You have the audacity to tell him you love him and that he's your everything? You're awful. You're disgusting. You're- "NO I'M NOT!" The words left me before I realized everything was in my head. I was trembling. More than I ever have in my entire life. "Casey, what's wrong-" "You wouldn't understand, April. You'd never understand what I am going through!" My fear, my pain, everything was fueling this rage that was buried inside of me. "Woah! Okay, relax Casey." "No! No, I'm going to relax, Raph. Because it's true! She'd never understand what it's like to be in my shoes right now! He always like her better, he always wanted her but never me!" The tears came flowing without end. "You don't understand how hard I had to try to even get him to notice my existence! And getting him to find qualities in me that were worthwhile! I was nothing and you were everything!" I barely noticed the expression on her face as I yelled at her. The words escaping me with hesitation, without a second thought. "Don't even try to sit here and tell me the you know what I'm going through because you don't! You don't have to bare thd weight of know you hurt him. You don't have to bare the guilt of driving him to hysteria! I do! You would never get the dirty looks and eye rolls he used to give me! You would always the get the eyes the look at you like you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his entire life! It hurt...! It..." I was becoming impossible to even speak clearly. "But you know what? Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe I was never meant to have him. Maybe you were. Maybe I should just leave." At that point, I rushed out of the house with the keys to the van. I could hear Raph and Leo's voices, but I was too upset to perceive any of it. I hopped in the van and drove off.

Donnie's POV

I was upstairs with Mikey, who had been trying (to the best of his ability) to relax me. "Do you want pizza?" I shook my head, wiping the remaining tears from my face. "Was this... Was this my fault...?" I turned to him, noticing a sorrow expression take over. "No, Donnie..." It seemed to take a bit of effort, but I managed to smile slightly. We began to talk about various other topics to take my mind off of it. It wasn't working. All I could think was how much of a terrible boyfriend I was for reacting in such a way. That's when I heard Casey yell, "NO I'M NOT!". I jumped from the bed and made my way downstairs in a hurry. Mikey followed close behind. But right as I was about to open the door, something in me told me that listening was a better option. So I did. "You don't understand how hard I had to try to even get him to notice my existence! And getting him to find qualities in me that were worthwhile! I was nothing and you were everything!" After hearing those words, I felt... empty. I could tell more was being said, but my brain tuned it out. I was hung up on those words. Maybe it was because he was right. Or maybe it was because I felt so much guilty and pain that I became emotionless. I couldn't feel anything. I started up the stairs back to the room, and I could feel Mikey's eyes on me. He looked more concerned than I've ever seen him before. But then again, this was the most emotionless he'd ever seen me. When I entered the room, I softly rested myself on the side of the bed, lost in an unorganized array of my thoughts. But what broke the chaos in my mind was the van starting up and driving off. I knew it was Casey, but I didn't do anything but look out the window as headlights illuminated the tress for a brief second. It almost seemed like a represention of us in that moment. Casey being the light that was leaving me... "Why are you leaving me, Casey...?".

(Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while since I've updated! QwQ I've had so many ideas that I wasn't sure whether I should continue this or start something new. Lmao But let me know if you would be interested in me making more Jonatello books, because I'd love to make more! 💞❤️)