The Permutation

Results (Part 5) Paul

Monday 12 p.m. October 3rd

Paul didn't enjoy much outside his living room, but he had to admit he got a kick out of millenials and their coffee shops. Boise Idaho's Impresso Espresso with its hipster music and its Bohemian decor was the perfect gathering place for millenials to congregate. The world tricked an entire generation into thinking that their opinion actually matters. The purest manifestation of that toxic ideology was social media, but millenials in coffee shops were a close second. Youths strutting around fancying themselves intellectuals, poets, and artists, but none willing to admit they didn't know what the fuck they're talking about. A nice change of pace from his soap operas.

Joseph Banford, his next victim, had been waiting patiently at a table for approximately thirty-three minutes and was getting sweatier by the moment. Every couple seconds, the man would dab at his forehead with a drenched napkin and look around the room for his "date." The white button-up shirt he'd worn for the occasion was now decorated with a matching pair of rapidly expanding pit stains. Paul liked to keep them waiting, so he had an idea of how desperate they were. Joey here was desperate to the tune of a couple thousand a month Paul wagered.

Groans of protest from his chair announced Paul was about to make his move. He tried to

ignore the stares of the patrons and the shortness of breath he felt as he lumbered across the room. Keep sipping your vanilla lattes you fucking mouth breathers. Paul paused halfway across the room and took a deep breath to steady himself. Regaining his composure, The rest of the way Paul strutted across the room, so elated by his potential windfall he felt weightless. He slid into the chair across from Joseph as much as a man of his size could slide into anything, and was met with a curt response.

"I'm sorry buddy, but this seat's taken. I'm waiting for someone."

"You're looking at her," Paul leered.

The man's brown eyes narrowed and his mouth clenched, the muscles of his jaw straining to contain himself. When his eyes met Paul's, the look was replaced with disgust. As much as he'd have liked to, Paul couldn't blame the man for his reaction, but that didn't stop Paul from hating him any less. There's a reason Paul had removed all the mirrors in his house, no one liked to look at a man with burn scars covering the entire right side of their bodies, least of all himself. The smell of sizzling fat, Old Spice deodorant, and pine forests accompanied any glance in the mirror transporting him to nooks of memories he'd rather not visit.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Joseph asked startling Paul back into the present.

"I'm StylesFanXOXO. Oh, you don't recognize me. That's okay, that's a pretty old profile picture. I've changed my hair since then. Do you like it?" Paul winked.

Joseph's voice lowered, "You a cop?"

Paul guffawed until he was out of breath again, "You're going to wish I was a cop Joey boy."

"Listen buddy, what do you want?"

"I'm so glad you asked. I've thought a lot about this. Does $2,000 a month tickle your fancy. It certainly tickles mine."

"You must be out of your goddamn mind! Not gonna happen."

"I've looked over your financials and extracurricular activities, and feel like I'm being quite reasonable given the circumstances."

"You're bluffing."

"Oh Joseph, how I do love it when they put up a fight. Why don't I outline just why the fight is already over? The first thing I do is prowl the One Direction, Supernatural, and whatever other forums and subreddits innocent girls frequent and look for someone who triggers my intuition. Ya see, I have kind of a sixth sense for creeps like you. Next, I trace the IP, which believe me is an absolute pain in my enormous ass, because most of the time it turns up nothing, but every once and awhile, I hit the jackpot with a complete and utter dipshit like yourself. Have you never heard of a VPN? This is where the fun begins. I figure out who Joseph Banford from Boise, Idaho truly is. Wife and kid? Check. Accountant for a massive corporation? Check. Skimming money from his employers? Check. They really oughta fire the chimpanzee in charge of running digital security over at Melaleuca. Firewall? More like a sand castle. $2,000 for me not destroying your life and getting you thrown in prison sounds pretty generous doesn't it?"