The pain the pain
I feel the pain
She feels the pain
He feels the pain
But does she care
No
Does he care
No
Who will come and help me when my pain turns to
Fear
Who will hold me
Dear too they're hearts
Who will walk with me through the starless nights
And help me find the will to fight
Pay for happiness with tears
Live through my greatest fears
But still stay stagnant in the life that is before me
Who will heal me
Jumping from one personality too another
It makes my head spin
No other
Could find this bother
All by myself trapped in my head
But I will explode if provoked
But my silence is my freedom
For which I will hold.
Rhema Hayworth
Chapter one
she sits in her chair peering at the stars wondering .if she herself could ever feel this free
only if the stars were me for only I could feel this free if the stars were me glimmering shining twinlking in the radiance burning balls luminosity touching me making me feel whole
but im in a hole six feet deep
barrying myself as i go
as long as I keep trying to fight
its clearly not for me
....but I am free
I drop my pencil in fustration trying too come up ,with the last line for my poem
...but I am free
gahhh
.wait I can leave it as that I am free
?But am I really
Am I really unrestricted
sometimes I need a reminder of who I am really sometimes, I cant find myself and I feel like im swimming in a little pool of self doubt and hurt but some people tell me to "keep swimmingyou will get there one day," but the current wins everytime
freedom is my balnce I like too think of how much I have but my thoughts override this and make me .regret my freedom
I crumple my papers and walk over too my bed and flop down on it savering the feeling of the feelimg of the hard cold matress catching me enrapturing me in the sense .of indemnity
after all I mind as well enjoy this im in here for ever.
I close my eyes trying too pull myself back too earth ,doing as my doctor told me imagining something I love and imagine being surrounded indulged in it,
so I imagine my frineds the little I had but am more than greatful of and my sister who I loved too the end of the universe and back but it does not take long for those dark thought to take over my head and burn the edges of my vision and make me feel like im falling and falling and falling until im in my head again black unconcious and fuzzy
opaque
I still have her whole finger nails.
g
