For the first time since we first met, me and megs sat in an awkward silence, not only was the silence horrible, but I feel so uncomfortable laying with her on the couch, her fingers tracing over my abs under my top, my arm around her shoulder. I tried all sorts, thinking of good memories, how we first met, how I was attracted to her at first sight, the laughs, the future plans, but nothing worked, I'm on edge, and she can tell. 'I'm sure she will be fine', 'huh?', 'your mum', 'what about her?', 'she will be fine, its probably just a bug that's going around', 'ooh, yeah hopefully', she just smiled looking up at me, a small one from me looking back. 'have you been with her whilst I've been gone then?', 'that and working', 'not been out?', 'one night', I can hardly deny that if I've been papped, oh fuck what if we were seen getting into a taxi? 'who was out?', a hot girl I slept with? 'the usual lads', 'ah', 'this is better though' I said, another lie to add to the list. 'I love you you know ast' she smiled, 'I know you do', '..you're supposed to say it back' she giggled, 'sorry babe, I'm thinking of mum', 'go ring her', 'nah', hold on, what is with this head?! 'yeah actually I might, see how she is', 'okay, hold on I'll get your phone', 'nah its alright, I'll go upstairs, rubbish signal down here lately', 'oh okay', I just smiled going upstairs, screaming at the top of my lungs in my head, twat. I can't do this, I can't lie to her face, these feelings exploding in my head, I need to get out of this, I hate talking about mum like this, but its all too much, if i told her she would go mad, jay has so my own mother will, theres only one person who i can get away from all this with, just for a bit..
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I have to think if something to get out the house, I have to see Ellie again! I just have to, I have to get my mind straight on things, I got a bag together, just the essentials, few pairs of jeans, tshirts, tooth brush, tooth paste, aftershave, boxers, anything i will need to get away for a few days, I don't know where to stay, but i know exactly who Im going to go and see, and even though i also know this is a crazy idea, my mums always told me to follow my heart, and since my heads in a mess, theres only one way forward. I ran downstairs with the bag, 'babe I gotta go', 'what? go where?,''to see mum, she needs me there!', i hate bringing my mum into all this, and i hate having to lie and use mum as the lie, but it's the only way I can get out, 'what's wrong?', 'I dunno, she's just asked me if I can go up and help out, says she'll tell me exactly what's wrong when I'm there', 'surely you don't need to go now though, it cant be anything serious', 'I do, i know you're just back but shes in a bad way, I'm worried!', 'alright well I can come..', 'no you stay, you've done enough travelling', 'if your mums ill ast i dont mind', 'i know but you're fine honestly', I looked down, Im shit at this lying business but she bought it, 'okay, well you make sure you ring me as soon as you get there! You tell me exactly what's going on when you know, you know how much I worry', I just nodded along to what she was saying, kissed her lightly and she even walked me to the car. 'I'll ring you' i smiled jumping in the car, 'yeah do... I love you', 'yeah you too babe, bye, il try not too be long', and with that I wheel spinned off. Im praying this will help my head rather than make things worse, but its too much to take right now! I really need to see ellie, luckily I know where she lives. I sent her a quick text [you home? I need to see you! Axx], i arrived outside before she could reply, so its to late for her to turn me down, I jumped out walking to the door taking a deep breath, knocking and waiting patiently for her to answer. looking around the area, its a gorgeous, nice and quiet, she has girly flowerpots outside her front door, looks like a real nice place, really homely, unlike mine surrounded by cameras and gates. After a few minutes she answered, 'hold on I.... Oh it's you...' seeing her again, made my heart skip a few beats, casual yet still so stunning, 'i didnt have chance to..just come in' she sighed letting me step in.
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Normal p.o.v...
What is he doing here? Ive been trying to forget about him but now hes here, bringing back all these feelings I have for him, the anger and hurt, he isn't getting out of lying to me. 'why didn't you tell me?', 'what?', 'i don't know, that you have a girlfriend maybe?', he didn't answer through shock, wether thats because he never planned on telling me, but i want answers, 'im not some slag who picks up a different guy every weekend aston', 'what? I know you're not!', 'yeah right, does she not give you sex or something?! because thats all we ever were, you used me forgetting the fact you made me feel special, i thought you were different, but you're the just the same as all the others!', 'no it weren't like that I swear!', 'well you didn't text me, you didn't ring me, i knew something wasnt right, then I read in a magazine about a girl called meg? do you realise how much of a mug I looked? the girls seeing how happy, then reading that, giving me pathetic sympathy i don't want or need!', 'i know that!', 'but you dont!', 'I'm here now aren't I?', 'and you was going to sit me down and tell me all about your girlfriend was you? before or after you tell her you've cheated', 'i didn't plan anything! Ive just left her at home in the lurch, using the worst excuse ever, a bag packed, and my head only knowing where I'm going', 'what are you going on about?', 'i needed to see you, i haven't stopped thinking about you since we met', 'obviously not my feeli..', 'i know ive fucked up, hurt you and made you look a twat, and im sorry i really am, but I've made up a family emergency just so I can come and see you', 'what? don't be stupid', 'i know its stupid, but..why is my head better now im with you?', i didnt answer, my heart was sort of melting again, 'come away with me', 'what?' i laughed in shock, 'a few days, i just need to get away', 'where, we cant just disappear', 'i don't know, anywhere, anywhere as long as its with you..', what is going on? Ive gone from being angry to really wanting to get away with him, 'aston I can't, ive got work, you've got work? i haven't even got anything packed, and what would I tell everyone?', 'just forget all that, pack a bag, just me and you', 'you're mad!', 'slightly yes, but for you more than anything', 'i cant..this is, my head aston!', 'sort it with me, talk things through, i need to go, but i want you with me', without thinking i fell for him, i couldn't think this through quickly and having nothing here to hang around for why not, i can easily come back! 'okay fine, il pack a bag, but im not being a mug again aston', 'you wont be!' he smiled weakly, he really is a mess, what the hells going on, and going to happen?!
